My Forum Comments
I hear what you’re saying and I respect your point of view. But please know there is no reason you can’t go to college. You can go to a community college and talk them about making modifications and accommodations to help you through school. Use the time at the community college to help you improve your GPA and get better at being in school. I suggest going to a therapist and talking about the things that are frustrating you. I also think that going on medications can be very helpful; the right dosage and type of meds can do a lot to help you calm down and concentrate. They were a big help to me in school and helped me concentrate and focus. It takes some work but you really can go to college. I was a solid A and B student (with some C’s) and was majorly burnt out after high school. I took a year off (after forcing me into a college I didn’t want to be in and dropping out) and went back to community college when I was ready. My GPA improved to a good level and I was able to transfer to a four year school and earn my Bachelor’s Degree.
There is hope and help if you look for it. I have the same problem with math that you do. You might have a condition called Dyscalculia; it is a real condition that makes it impossible for you to process math. The issue with you forgetting the numbers before you enter them could be related to that or another disorder common to ADHD called Motor Dyspraxia which can also affect short term memory.
You sound very intelligent and I think with the right team of people around you that you can achieve great things.
- This reply was modified 9 months, 3 weeks ago by MJ1981.
It could be you’re on the wrong kind of medication or the wrong dosage. Talk to your therapist again and express you don’t feel any difference since starting the meds. They can adjust your dosage or the type of meds you’re on.
That was my experience as a kid with ADHD. I was constantly blamed and punished for the most minor things and bullies would get away scott free. I had one particularly nasty vice principal from Texas (I lived in Rhode Island) who had a very biased attitude against special needs kids (she actually told me once “you have no purpose at this school and nobody wants you here. Special Ed Kids have no place in normal schools.”) She would invent reasons for me to get in trouble, even when logic dictated otherwise. She was once asked to inform my mother of a minor incident involving me verbally bullying someone, an incident that was resolved and taken care of. Instead of simply notifying mom of the incident and its resolution she called and threatened to have me arrested and taken to jail for making threats. I was 16 at the time and have never been a discipline problem before; I had never even gotten in trouble before. I was a solid A and B student. She made the mistake of not understanding my mom was an educational advocate and had strong friendships with the state attorney’s, special education director and the principal. She got her butt handed to her. Turns out she was doing this sort of thing to many special education students and was trying to get us to dropout of school or get expelled because she didn’t like us. Her contract was eventually terminated and she was forced out of our school district.
I had problems with teachers too, they would most often sympathize with the bully and would tell me to stop being “dramatic” or “seeking attention.” It always felt weird to me because the last thing I wanted was attention, I just wanted to get through a day without being verbally abused, physically attacked, sexually harassed or tortured by other students or teachers.
The worst feeling I ever had in school was going to an adult and knowing they weren’t going to believe me or do anything to help me. Getting told to “just ignore it” was always the worst feeling. How can I ignore somebody bullying me all day?
I had a similar issue when I was a kid. It got so bad I would bite my dentist. The solution we came up with (well my parents did) was to take me to a dentist who specializes in children with special needs. This was a good solution because he had a calmer demeanor and temperament and was more patient. He often took the time to explain what was going to happen before he did it, this made me feel better. I used to get anxiety when the dentist would put something in my mouth and then walk away, he learned to never walk away from me.
Not sure if that was of any help to you.
I really relate to this. I have always had a difficult time with change and have always felt very deeply triggered by change. This has become a more prominent problem as I get older, especially as i’m now in my late 30’s. It has become a frequent issue for me at work. I find myself growing incredibly anxious and fearful whenever a new policy or staff change occurs; which in my field (retail) is almost a monthly occurrence.
Aside from trying to talk to my family about it (which often only makes things worse as they just accuse me of being dramatic or looking for attention; or out right dismissing me) I can’t seem to find any solution.
In order to prevent myself from being late, I’ve used a strategy of setting both my cell phone alarm and an alarm clock for the morning. I also lay out my clothes the night before and have my lunch made for work the next day so that I can’t possibly be late.August 8, 2019 at 11:54 pm in reply to: Child’s desk placed in the corner apart from class #124736
I was wondering if OP could provide an update on how this situation was handled and if it was resolved to their satisfaction.August 8, 2019 at 11:35 pm in reply to: Principal from another school interacting with my child #124735
my only advice in this situation is to get with an Advocate and get their advice. They will have more practical advice and I also think you may consider speaking with an attorney who is familiar with special education law. They may have some ideas for you.
IMHO, it seems odd and abusive for a principal from another school to have any contact with your son at all. It seems like they are hiding something because they never brought you or your spouse into it. I am concerned that your son was not allowed to call you either. I would certainly discuss this situation with his case manager and find out what happened.
This sounds exactly like me. Exactly. I have the same problem because it takes so much effort to get my thought together in the first place that being forced to start over is exhausting.
My trigger words are “calm down”, “be quiet” and “stop talking” or “you’re too loud.”
These drive me insane because a lot of the times that people tell me to “calm down” are times I feel like I’m perfectly calm. I’m not raising my voice, I’m not upset, my body language is low-key and yet other try to project their issue onto me.
The others bother me because no matter how much I try, I just cannot control the volume of my voice. Even when I’m whispering I’m being too loud.
You’re speaking my language. This happens to me all the time and my rage knows no bounds.March 24, 2019 at 10:19 pm in reply to: Child’s desk placed in the corner apart from class #112614
What is so frustrating from the OP’s post is how unresponsive the teacher is being. If it were my kid, I would be requesting an emergency meeting with his IEP team. And I would want to know why this change was made and why I wasn’t notified of it. I cannot imagine that having his desk face the wall is at all helpful to him and I can imagine it makes learning more difficult for him.
I don’t know if I really have an answer to this; but I can share my own experience with how I was taught. I have ADD and several other diagnosed learning disabilities and in my education I think I experienced a wide range of teaching methods.
I spent most of elementary school in New Hampshire, in the 1980’s and was taught in what they called a “fully inclusive class with co-teaching.” Basically I was a regular mainstreamed student for the majority of the day, I was in a regular class, taught by the mainstream teacher, but for certain subjects that I struggled with the most or needed additional support in I was brought into a separate environment for one on one assistance, or in some cases a small group of us were brought out for personalized support. This to me was actually a good thing because it allowed me to get the one on one help I absolutely needed. Keep in mind that for some kids with ADD, getting personalized instruction or one on one help is a gold mine of helpfulness and can often be the thing that helps them get through the day. Even though I was used to the mainstream class and felt at home there, sometimes I needed the smaller classroom setting to decompress and focus on the areas I was most struggling with. It also gave everybody else in the class a chance to sort of have a “break” as you must keep in mind that kids with ADD as lovely as we are can be a lot to handle all day and if we’re struggling we oftentimes have outbursts that can be disruptive. I know if I was struggling, everybody knew it and at times I made everybody suffer because of it.
As I got into middle school we moved to Rhode Island and I was put into a self-contained class, where I was with only four or five other special needs kids for all my classes (and we had only 1-2 special ed teachers all day), with the exception of electives like gym and music, etc. I actually found this environment LESS helpful than being in a mainstreamed class. This class had kids of many different levels in one room and I found that it made learning difficult because the teacher had to find a way to teach lessons that kids at very different levels could try to understand. It was nearly impossible trying to tailor a lesson so that sixth graders, eight graders and so on could all get the lessons. Eventually within a year or two I breezed through the curriculum of the self-contained class which was woefully out of date and they had no choice but to mainstream me. At this point is where things got very difficult for me, because the mainstreamed class was taught at grade level, but the special ed class was not so there was a bit of a gap between the two and I had a lot of catching up to do, with almost no support. It was jarring, scary and not well planned. I had a couple resource periods each week, but that wasn’t enough and the social aspect was scary as well.
So my advice is maybe talk to your kids and ask them how they feel about school, if they like the environment, are they feeling comfortable, you might learn that they have a lot of feelings or ideas you didn’t know about. Being included is important, but it’s possible that they enjoy being brought out for separate instruction sometimes. Best of luck. Not sure if any of this is helpful at all, I realize every kid is different and the standards may be different than when I was in school.
I think some of what you described is a bit over the top. I think that asking him to rewrite his name wasn’t out of line, but him getting in trouble for it was out of line. Even if he was being silly/attention seeking that may very well be because he doesn’t have the language skills or emotional skills to explain that his bad handwriting was due to ADD or motor issues.
I also think the longer he’s out of class, the further behind he’ll get and ultimately that isn’t worth whatever lesson he’s supposed be learning. Also, why was he drinking juice at recces? Was he simply thirsty? was there a reason he had to drink then? they need to work on figuring out why he broke the rule, oftentimes it’s more complicated than just him being insubordinate.
I think oftentimes schools in trying to punish kids with ADD forget to focus on finding a punishment that “fits the crime” and that actually teaches your son what he needs to learn.
I have never heard of a nurse having a time limit on when she can give medications; that sounds like a decision your doctor should be making. When he gives you the prescription it has a dosage on it that includes when it should be taken (example: take 20 milligrams in the morning and take 10 milligrams no later than 3pm). It is NOT up to the nurse to decide. I would have your doctor write a note indicating that your grandson must be given his medication daily, and that taking it at 9 instead of 8 is better than not taking it at all.