miral

My Forum Comments

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)
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  • miral
    Participant

    Dear @Penny, thank you so much, unfortunately, that one wasn’t it either 😔

    I really feel like going crazy. I didn’t imagine reading it, why can’t I find it 😔

    Edit: Error: Slow down; you move too fast. 😳😬😂 …on an ADHD site. That made me genuinely laugh, thank you!

    in reply to: Do I have ADD? List of symptoms #142174
    miral
    Participant

    Hi! I wasn’t diagnosed until last December at age 32. When I read your list, I go:

    Check
    Check
    Check
    Check
    Check
    Check
    Check
    Check
    Check
    Check
    Check (though I didn’t leave, I just fell asleep. Embarrassing!)
    Pass
    Check

    And a number more for me.

    When I was reading up on ADHD in the months leading up to my diagnosis, one of my counters (the other one being “but I was good in school!) was that I can follow instructions (one of the diagnostic criteria). Until I realized that I literally pretty much never actually read instructions/manuals.

    Your list reads very typical for someone with ADHD. Good luck with your diagnosis!

    in reply to: I get frustrated with fake adhd #142171
    miral
    Participant

    Aaron, I feel your frustration, but keep in mind ADHD is a spectrum. However, particularly your one statement has the potential for hurting a lot of people – including me, hence why I’m responding.

    “There seems to be a sudden inflation of diagnosis, especially in pretty successful, “high functioning” individuals who at some point develop symptoms like those/similar to those of ADHD which were however never present during their childhood and yet, they get a diagnosis based off of the assumption of their being intellectually gifted (though, again, most never actually get tested for that kind of thing…) and thus supposedly mostly capable of somehow “compensating” the normally pretty obvious, often downright debilitating actual, real life- symptoms of the disorder.”

    No adult should get a ADHD diagnosis based on what you stated. The DSM-5, used in many countries for diagnosis, specifically states that symptoms must have been present before age 12 (present, not clinically significant!). Most experts agree that adult-onset ADHD does not exist and those people most likely have other mental disorders going on, such as anxiety, depression and a whole set of other possibilities. A diagnosis of adult ADHD without symptoms present in childhood only means a professional didn’t do their job.

    However, with your claim your dismiss an entire demographic of actual sufferers. You state that there is an inflation of “highly functioning, successful individuals who at some point develop symptoms“.

    Maybe instead of them “developing symptoms”….how about they literally cope until they don’t? They may always have had symptoms, they just managed to not let them impair their life to a clinical level. Burn-out is highly correlated with ADHD for obvious reasons. Masking is a major problem with ADHD.

    I haven’t been diagnosed with ADHD until I was 32. I’ve always felt “different” from people around me. In hindsight, I’ve always had pretty obvious ADHD symptoms — but the tell-tale sign of “problems in school” was missing. Further…being female….you’re dismissed as an ADHD possibility from the get go.

    So yes, I somehow coped and masked all my life. I was good in school, went on to college and am currently enrolled in a graduate program. Genuinely loving to learn and loving science made this possible because it was my much needed stimulus and allowed me to hyperfocus on school (+ just a shit ton of extra effort on my part). But hardly anyone knows what it cost to actually get there. As I mentioned, I’m 32 and have been dealing with severe chronic fatigue for over a decade, now. I’m not just tired — I’m literally exhausted as my baseline, regardless of how much I sleep. I have daily physical pain courtesy of tension from anxiety. I’m burned out from night after night scrambling, from a lifetime of procrastination, from having to work more than seemingly anyone else around me. I’ve been diagnosed with a number of other mental disorders in addition to my physical problems.

    All my life I’ve been fighting with “not quite fitting in”, which leaves one extremely lonely and isolated – of which depression is only the next step.

    Decades of RSD and emotional dysfunction, things you’re not allowed to “show” or act upon, take their toll as well.

    Instead of gatekeeping, try to consider that the more we learn about ADHD the more people will receive the help they deserve. For one, ADHD is overdiagnosed in white boys and way underdiagnosed in girls.

    You say getting misdiagnosed does help nobody. But it also doesn’t actually hurt you personally, does it?

    • This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by miral.
    • This reply was modified 1 year, 9 months ago by miral.
    miral
    Participant

    Unfortunately not, but thank you for looking @Penny.

    It may not have been on Additude but I have a vivid memory of the ADDitude article style/layout going along with the paragraph.

    This is extremely frustrating. I remember the lines well, but can’t find them.

    It was about how every person has a limited amount of (mental) capacity which gets depleted while going through the day, but for someone with ADHD it gets already way more depleted in the morning because they have to remember so many things just for getting ready to get out of the house.

    in reply to: I get frustrated with fake adhd #136513
    miral
    Participant

    “When I hear people popping off that they think they must be ADD I just want to scream. Those people are making light of a disorder that is devastating to those of us who truly carry that burden. ”

    Aren’t you projecting a fair bit? How do you know they themselves don’t struggle? How do you know they make light of the disorder?

    Did you ever consider that comments like these might deter people who legit might have ADHD from seeking evaluation because they don’t want to be “one of those” and rather continue to suffer in silence?

    At the end of the day, how does it impact YOU if some random other person gets misdiagnosed?

    miral
    Participant

    One thing I really keep wondering about is the “interfere with or reduce the quality of social, academic, or occupational functioning.” part of the diagnostic criteria.

    Because this feels so…subjective. Where does “interfere” begin? How does someone determine if the quality of life is “reduced enough” to warrant a diagnosis? Because what about people who are just really excellent at white-knuckling it? What is the baseline for comparison?

    Or in other words, most of what I recognize as symptoms either in the now or in retro-spect have never really “interfered” with my life as in I’ve just accepted them as part of me and my character traits, my idiosyncrasies, and as part of normal life challenges I have to overcome, and then find ways to overcome them.

    in reply to: I get frustrated with fake adhd #135784
    miral
    Participant

    And then there’s those who aren’t diagnosed as a child because they don’t show the poster symptoms only to later in life be diagnosed with anxiety and depression while really it might be ADHD.

    ADHD is both overdiagnosed and underdiagnosed at the same time. I get the frustration, I too hate when people fake diagnoses for whatever reasons (attention, medication, accomodations). But at the same time, a lot of people are missed to get proper diagnoses just because of all that stigma and them not wanting to be “one of those fakers”. So they continue to suffer in silence and posts like these, while coming from a true and legit place of frustration, are very damaging.

    It’s also a spectrum. Something that should never be forgotten. No two persons have the same set of symptoms, difficulties etc. So not only not fair but actually impossible to compare one’s own symptoms with those of another person and conclude the other person can’t possibly have ADHD because they’re not showing the same symptoms and struggles as one self.

    miral
    Participant

    Thank you @quietlylost

    Yes, the more I read about ADHD, the more I think my ambitious personality and above-average intelligence simply helped mask most of my symptoms. I’ve just become excellent at “coping”/hiding from a very young age. I’m also not the typical girly day-dream type.

    I will have to discuss with my psychiatrist (it sucks I only have appointments every month or so — there is my impatience yet again 😉 ); I’m sure I can get my husband to provide a statement. He LIVES with me, so he experiences my non-existent time management and misplacing and forgetting things on a daily basis.

    My therapist is convinced it’s basically all just plain anxiety and depression. A few sessions ago she made a test with me whether I could sit still for 5 minutes doing nothing (she pushed it to 15 total, I think?). Because I’m having a hard time relaxing…or rather, not a hard time, I’m unable. I’ve been so exhausted for years that the moment I’m not doing something, I just fall asleep. So…yeah….I was able to do those 15 minutes…because…well…at age 32 you’ve learned to behave. She also asked me about whether tags in clothes bothered me. And we had an entire session on how I can’t stand boredom and can’t get myself to do boring things. I thought all those were things she was kinda “testing” towards ADHD…. but turns out, not really.

    When I came in with a list of major struggles including procrastination, she glanced at it and right away said “anxiety”. When I say “I feel like most people plain misunderstand me” or when I don’t do the dishes or stack my clothes in a big pile instead of putting them away after laundry — it’s depression.

    It’s seriously no miracle that adults with ADHD who have not been diagnosed as kids are most commonly misdiagnosed with anxiety and depression.

    This entire being-my-own-advocate-thing is really hard for me because I know how much health professionals hate Dr. Google and as a scientist myself I feel like I can’t bias their assessment, they’re the experts on this, not me. If that makes sense.

    • This reply was modified 2 years ago by miral.
    miral
    Participant

    @Penny Williams: Thank you for the link! I’ve actually already read it a while ago, but helpful to go over it, again.

    @477sherlock@gmail.com and @quietlylost also thank you for your feedback!

    My therapist/psychologist said if I wanted an evaluation, I would have to approach my psychiatrist (which I’m planning to do on my next appointment). While she doesn’t think it’s completely ridiculous to want to be evaluated, she doesn’t seem to think I have it and also thinks it’s not worth the effort. She said for adults, the process is tedious and not straightforward, as it includes bringing in old school records and finding people who’ve known me since childhood and who are willing to fill out questionnaires (i.e. parents). And how a diagnosis wouldn’t change anything in terms of treatment etc.

    I have my school report cards. They say nothing — on the contrary, particularly in kindergarten they keep pointing out how I’m an ambitious student who’s paying attention, finishes tasks fast and on time etc. …. so…the exact opposite you’d expect from someone with ADHD.

    My parents….I’m very uneasy to approach them about that. They’re from the “pull yourself together and focus” tribe.

    So, essentially it’s my word. And while my gut feeling says “YES”, it’s hard to “proof”. I know how difficult ADHD diagnosis is, particularly since it’s so vastly overdiagnosed, and how critical differential diagnoses are. But I’ve rarely felt so certain about something…that is after having done a LOT of research on it over the past few months. Because my baseline is being skeptical. But this….just makes SO much sense!

    Like @477sherlock@gmail.com I’ve always been somewhat socially awkward, and while I get along with most people, I do have a hard time “really” fitting in in what is considered “normal” social contexts.

    I was lucky enough to go to a specialized school for highly intelligent/gifted people in the Sciences. It was extremely challenging and I think that’s what kept me afloat. I need challenge in my life and I love Science and learning. It made me thrive. Careless mistakes in Maths and Physics I compensated by taking on every single extra task to improve my grades. And generally, I was the one organizing every single class event, the teachers’ helper, and entertained at least two extra-curriclular courses and on average 3-4 regular hobbies. I just kept myself busy as hell. Also, all the folks in my class were neurologically atypical (i.e. IQ 130-140 people) and hence we got along perfectly because we all were “different” and we understood each other and our struggles without explanation. It made ALL the difference from personal experience for a couple years in a normal middle school context.

    I’m also exhausting to be around and tend to overwhelm people. But my friends in highschool could take it – because they themselves were exhausting (ever discussed with someone about black holes and n-dimensional hyperspaces at age 14? :p )

    I guess why it matters to get diagnosed? First and foremost confirmation that I’m not just lazy or not trying hard enough. That it’s not just all in my head.

    But also, to get proper treatment (whatever that is because I’m reluctant re medication) and to be able to appropriately communicate my struggles with the people around me, family as well as health professionals. It makes all the difference if I say for example “I’m having a hard time focusing/motivating” as a symptom of ADHD or depression.

Viewing 9 posts - 1 through 9 (of 9 total)