the dancer

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
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  • in reply to: Generic Adderall #98621

    the dancer
    Participant

    Hello all,

    I have been following this thread for a few weeks as I am taking generic adderall and have noticed some irregularities; it is minimal. Mostly in the time it takes for the medication to take effect and in the side effects when it leaves the system. I asked my pharmacist to fill my script with one brand and to not mix the two; he was accommodating. Currently I am under – medicated – I tend to not to take the medication when I am doing remedial tasks over a period of a few days or longer. The flip side of this, if I have to read and write, it takes me longer to put my ideas together, especially if there is emotion involved.

    In regards to insurance, I would prefer the name brand. I feel the name brand would offer consistent results in the manufacturing of the medication. Taking a generic bothers me. Each generic med has its own ‘recipe'(are there regulations in place to manage consistency?) which makes it difficult to count on the results, especially if pharmacists fill your script with multiple generic ‘recipes’- thus my request to fill one script with one generic brand.

    I am making it work for now but leaning towards low to no usage of meds by creating a lifestyle that suits how I think and behave. Working with my partner on this, is especially groovy, mostly because our hearts are in the right place and only good can come from such an awesome collaboration. Human connection is the key behind any medical solution.

    @McRae Thank you for your comprehensive research into the generic med market!

    d


  • the dancer
    Participant

    Michellerain2016 are you sleeping better?

    I cried after I was diagnosed. It was a relief; a new problem set to build on with a sure foundation – as sure as it can be with the right work put into it. Mindfulness helps me to manage from day to day, I take it slow and make notes of everything; my diet, exercise, sexual activity, creative stimulation, how I perceive others, how I want to respond,… it felt like I was born into life again. This time around I take great care to let myself be (honor where I am – how I think and behave – give myself space to get comfy with something new), no need to bring others into it till I am ready. Ready means I know what kind of relationship I want and the boundaries I need to set for each connection whether its platonic or intimate. The boundaries give me structure for relating. For me, respect, is the key – a person can only be where they are and that is good enough in a love mindset.

    I hear relief in your words. Leaving an abusive situation takes courage. Crying is good. I feel strength in my vulnerability and I use it to rebuild from my heart what I imagine. onedinewave wrote that one’s personality does not change with medication, only their focus. My mother told me in high school that the core of my personality was forming and that who I was then would be the kind of woman I would become. This frightened me at first (I was coming from a dark place of emotion) but then it started to get lighter when I made a commitment to knowing myself and honoring the presence of others – I am still in that journey, sure there are issues surrounding addiction, abuse, neglect but I work(ed) through them, with support; I always return to the core of who I am – follow my intuition, ask questions, feel, and when its right – it feels SO right! The steps in this direction fuels my spirit and the esteem builds to a healthy place (it doesnt always stay there but I know what it feels like so I can return; heart memory) I wrote about all of this to relate to your concern about taking meds – its your experiment, have fun with it!

    So now, what about this adventurous random fun! Its up to you. You have done the work, everything is at your feet 🙂 Enjoy

    d

  • in reply to: Can you remember your childhood #91383

    the dancer
    Participant

    I remember my childhood, I feel fortunate, these memories have helped me through the years: the spaces I was in (the big people) the sensation of certain things like climbing trees, making mud pies with actual mud (not eaten), playing soccer, movements on the balance beam (gymnastics), drawing, feeling happy, angry, destructive, cheeky etc.

  • in reply to: Why I can’t handle compliments or praise? #91380

    the dancer
    Participant

    I have similar thoughts when someone gives me praise.

    For me there were a few issues going on: how I see my ‘self’ and my brain not caring too much about praise – its always focused on solving puzzles ‘what is not working – how do I find a workaround?’

    In regards to the brain bypassing praise, I would stop and say ‘thank you’ and acknowledge how someone perceived me. After practicing this for awhile I began to notice a pattern: how I was able to connect with others and I identified those traits as strengths. This is common practice for self reflection; it can go a lot deeper — break it down and see how each part plays out (in context to a given situation) becoming aware of one’s self and honoring others, leads to something more than you might expect. I still struggle with the praise but after doing the work to figure it out, I accept that my brain will rush to solve the issue and it is not a reflection of how I see myself. Meaning I dont read more into it than what it is. (Anxiety is freed with an objective answer)

    I suggest the next time this comes up, stop, take a moment to thank the person, notice how you feel and go from there: ask yourself questions, why do i feel this way? (This helped me work through my perception of self)

    Why do you think you don’t deserve the praise (why do you need to remember a past moment and let it take away from something good in the present – self punishment?), in a given moment, if you had a positive affect on someone? Being cruel to someone in one instance doesn’t stamp out your ability to be kind – our lives and relationships are fluid. How we turnaround (make amends) an act of cruelty means more than the act itself. Once the cruelty has stopped, the amending experience is what remains: the affect this has on the people involved takes its own course and must be respected (we are not responsible for other peoples feelings; ‘take care of your side of the street’)

    The question about ‘who one is’ distressed me for many years (how does one describe infinite possibility in a few words?) then I came up with a way to answer that question. I would recall the last 48 hours – who did I connect with? How did these people respond to me? what is something I did for myself? – The information from these questions shaped my answer; short and simple.

    The best way I could sum up this ‘who am i’ question is with a story about a man who wanted my attention (with the history of pick-up lines festering the situation and the need to break a barrier of familiarity). He approaches me in a wildly lit environment, both of us entranced by the show and in my ear he tells me, ‘everyone lies’ – the clarity and brevity of his tell caught my attention; it was everything and nothing, brilliant – i was engaged.

    d

  • in reply to: Take Responsibility #78497

    the dancer
    Participant

    Bravo! Bravo! Your honesty is refreshing to hear.

  • in reply to: Got dopamine? #77412

    the dancer
    Participant

    @maartenrischen: thank you
    @mattcolo: thanks for your question – this one hit home for me – hope you are finding a way through it

  • in reply to: Got dopamine? #76948

    the dancer
    Participant

    Got dopamine? Yeah – what’s it to you? (Hehehe – just kidding)

    Here are a few suggestions I can offer that have helped me to own my happiness; to shape it, with cognitive behavior therapy approaches, and alternative medicines, in addition to medication.

    “It’s not in the cards”
    Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water – I have found trial and error on mixing and matching routines to find a sweet spot for managing energy so I can be present and enjoy life. With that said, what is happiness to you?

    Mixing and matching routines: the all too familiar list with something special at the end

    _Early wake – hot shower then liquids: cayenne pepper, cherries/blueberries, lemon juice, black tea base – take supplements, my doctor told me most of her ADHD patients have some sort of deficiency
    _self pleasure can come from stretching, massage, *masturbation with and without a partner *this is not discussed often on forums so please excuse my frankness, finding a balance with sexual energy was the key to this whole routine
    _make checklist or review checklist 🙂
    _Hot yoga class(forcing the body into healthy stress, on your own, no one else (blind out other bodies in class), in the mirror, working out stress in the body) or doing this at home – any cardio workouts like dance, cold ocean swimming, or,…
    _whole avocado snack: diced raw garlic (2 cloves) and ginger, pink salt, olive oil, cayenne sprinkle, boiled egg in middle, lemon squeeze, cucumbers, seaweed, if around – drink 2L of water every day
    _focused work with medication, IR only – find your own dose schedule **I always have a few days each week with no medication and lean towards under medicating unless it is absolutely necessary to take a full dose – the dopamine from the early exercise is extended with the medication
    _very little social media interaction and I dont sleep with my phone, if I have to, it is goal oriented work and timed
    _vegetarian meals, no meals after 8pm
    _8hrs. sleep min. – having trouble? I take Valerian Root, if this becomes regular, I stop, change my routine (more cardio – sex)
    _emergency nap (think toddler tantrum) if I feel sadness coming in that cannot be solved through writing, drawing, or,..
    _rinse + repeat

    Bonus** make a personal connection – talk to people, be present, interact with others, how do you serve others? I live in a big city and once in awhile I hear the story of the man seated next to me or laugh with strangers about anything and nothing on the train – happiness is also about how we choose to be with others, through a screen or physically present

    {when the calm sets in, it is very relieving, I return to the breath (pranayama)- what am I physically doing, who am I with, I try to be present as much as possible, I dont think about it wearing off – most of the activities above I practice everyday like brushing my teeth and eventually I found a consistent calm – if anxiety comes in then I return to yoga poses and breathing or hard body work – I work with kids so at times there can be mayhem at play which taught me to slow down for them and myself – are there anxiety triggers in your day, how do you deescalate your response?}

    CBT has its drawbacks in my book but one thing that worked was switching my thinking in the moment. We know that the effects of newness wear off on any thing that works. Try seeing the ‘patterns’ as working in a flow with no beginning or end, only transitions like a good track of music

    ‘The interest and focus is SO intense at first’
    Penny has it right about it not lasting for long – I slow it down with the breath, kinda like Jedi time if that’s possible

    Have fun with this.

    d

  • in reply to: Time management #74791

    the dancer
    Participant

    @ Penny writing about ‘not choosing’ to be late – very important

    In the chat, it is key to talk about what happened without judging the kid running late – this chat is about awareness and solutions.

    d

  • in reply to: Welcome to the ADDitude Forums! #74792

    the dancer
    Participant

    Great, thanks!
    d

  • in reply to: Time management #74696

    the dancer
    Participant

    With kids, I have found addressing the issue as it happens works best. Get the kids involved in the incident, together for a chat about their actions and responses, focusing on feelings. It’s amazing to see how they figure it out once it is modeled to them a few times.

    d

  • in reply to: Welcome to the ADDitude Forums! #74695

    the dancer
    Participant

    Hello, I submitted two replies but after reading this I realized I need to alter an event name in one of my posts. Please advise. Also, I am working on a topic to post. It’s about working with strengths and supporting areas that need work on and off medication; growing into/supporting what comes natural to a neurodiverse person.

    Thanks
    d

  • in reply to: How to Use the ADDitude Forums #74694

    the dancer
    Participant

    Hello,

    I was participated in the old forum a few years back. I have returned and setup a new account, slowly getting back into nagging with the forum. I am not ready to post a topic yet, but soon, how do I go about it? I could not see the option on my page. I have started replying to threads that interest me, some replies have posted, and others not yet. Let me know if there are any issues with my replies.

    Thanks

    d

  • in reply to: I need to know who I am #74614

    the dancer
    Participant

    I have learned that sharing personal experiences can help others find their own way, I hope this helps. Just one thing, before you read, imagine confidence and self esteem as a deep ocean you are swimming in.

    As a child I learned how to protect myself from predators (conscious and unconscious) by sharing what I knew to be true (learned behavioral responses) in a way that challenged a predators belief system. My confidence and self esteem grew from this experience. After some years, eventually the strength in knowing myself diminished; it took many years of hard work to recover. The safety I learned from being silent in my young adult years crippled me in my early twenties. Then I got lucky at twenty-five. I fell into the best job ever – working on the stage as a tech (10 years). I was terrified of my first show call, sweating, eye twitching, shakey, all of it,… until a mouthy Brit belted me on headset. I stopped, took a breath, and used logic to change my behavioral response from imagined threat to stepping into a world of magic I dreamed about. A second win!

    Years later I made my way to training as a ground rigger with the lead rigger (all males, almost no female presence in this department). August 2007 Matisyahu 311 show – a ground rigger is responsible for securing points to the grid (in the roof) by managing the stage (ground) activity and protecting the climbers (walking steel). A bright smile and a pair of lungs to halt the stage in one blow gave me passage to double and triple check load bearing weight. I was not in Kansas anymore, this was serious work! The training was going well. By lunch I saw an opportunity to run truss spot (sitting 40ft. above the audience to run a spotlight) I was thrilled! ADHD impulses kick in (many years before diagnosis) – I have climbed truss before to higher points, no problem. I am standing on the sub in the house, the audience is raging, I start climbing, the audience screams die! die!, I get to the truss, I need to lift my body up and over, right arm locks up – real tight, but inside, the crowd got to me – I had to come down – the tricky thing is, climbing that high means the only way to come down is by fall arrest, meaning I have to look like I am falling – I did it – the crowd roared, I stopped the headliner 3 minutes, I lost my chance at being a ground rigger. Within seconds I had to choose how I carried this fault. I came down strong, passed on the ladder, took a moment in the crew room, filed the paperwork – and by the end of the show I was back to lead ground rigger in training, shaken, alive, smiling, and stern with my voice on stage. There were death stares and the humility was real, I made a mistake and I owned it. A guy from the crew came up to me, close, held me with his eye and a grin, ‘you turned that around real good’ the crew respected you even after the fall. At the end, the lead rigger worked with me on a trauma followup – I am sharing this with you because you asked, how do you find yourself – I find myself over and over again by failing with courage, trusting what I know to be true and making adjustments from there.

    d

  • in reply to: I need to know who I am #74611

    the dancer
    Participant

    A chameleon changes the color of its skin to hide from predators. A mask can be worn in jest, to hide one’s true intentions, or to hide from a predator. The person wearing the mask can also be a predator.

    When I question, who I am, I need to define the words I am choosing to describe my experience. Once I do this, I notice a power struggle frames the situation. If I look closely at the power dynamic, I see myself more clearly in that dynamic. These are a few strategies I use to learn about who I am. I hope you find them useful in your quest.

    “I have to see myself in a different light” This sounds like a solution that you acted upon when you had to resolve your conflict with the specialist. “I had to learn not to become like him” Awesome! You mention a jigsaw puzzle and fragments. Based on what you have shared, you are working on it. The hard work will pay off.

    d

  • in reply to: Anyone recommend or not recommend Saleh #74097

    the dancer
    Participant

    If you are interested in self defense, a friend recommended (beginners) starting out with Jiu Jitsu. You will learn how to defend yourself without seriously injuring your opponent while Krav Maga is a different story. Have fun finding your own style.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)