My Forum Comments
So, a bit of a breakthrough… he is good with it.
My psychiatrist and I have been discussing that idea. I don’t want to give up on him yet! Today’s appt I managed to tell him that I felt I had nothing more to say to him. After much silence, he asked comparing our relationship to another in my life and he asked if i felt he and i were going sour. His word, not mine. I don’t remember (!) exactly what i said, but it was a no and we got to how would i like therapy to proceed. After a bit of silent deliberation, i came up with this: “we are going to talk about adhd. You don’t know me. I am always on time for you. But… and i proceeded to tell him a story of a typical time “trying” to get to a friends house. So i am going to swing you over to our team. You don’t know me. I have adhd” He laughed of course at the team comment.
Yes, we have been together therapeutically for 8 years, but it’s been fairly existential purging on my part and probing on his part. I don’t go in there and talk about my week. Unless there is something big happening. I believe i have strayed.
Hi, Thanks for the responses. jkate23: I do agree with both diagnoses. I definitely have depression. I have been concerned about being treatresistant as well! I have been on meds for the depression for all 8 years, and they have helped a bit, but i hit a major bump two years ago and was hospitalized 5 times for suicidal thoughts. I am beyond that now, but all along, with therapy and meds, i still have felt we weren’t getting to the root, you know? Something… we were missing something. He wasn’t addressing the trauma, we simply talked about the events whenever i brought them up. I know i need trauma therapy. When my ADHD daughter recently suggested that i ought to look into it myself, i started reading and was floored! Spoke with psychiatrist who started me on Adderall right away. I have been devouring ADHD books from the library. I haven’t been able to read a book in over 5 years… no focus. PsyD says depression. Could be right. He is a clinical psychologist as well, so his leaning is toward testing, but he does have the private practice and is a very down to earth person. Since the Adderall, i have also been able to pick up a phone and call a lawyer about my husband’s estate. Something i should have been addressing since last July! But, you know…
Hi all, I like Susan’s idea about the hunter/gatherer approach. Did we all read “The Edison Gene”? Good book! I wonder what would happen if WE all got together in a room! Would we all get along? Would we be able to be honest with each other? Would we be able to have an annual get together with everyone or would we all not show because we all had grudges that we all understood?
Interesting experiment idea I think.
I too, cannot forgive and forget.
My roommate, who last July (2017) saved me from homelessness, told me that she now realizes that she cannot live with people who are not family and I have to move out. Considering my name is still on wait lists that are now 2-3 years long instead of the 3-4 from last year, I was still looking at homelessness two weeks ago. But she didn’t care. But a cousin has taken me in. The only person left on the planet apparently with room for me.
I guess grudges may not be the best way to go, but trust me, my roommate, who thinks we can continue to be friends, is wrong!
Hi, You are in Ireland? You have to pay for a psychologist? No insurance? Drat! Do not be afraid. Tell your doctor. I tell my doctor everything. That is the only way to have a healthy body and mind in my opinion. Yes, I have had substance abuse issues. My doctors all know this, and yet, when i talked to my psychiatrist about my thoughts on ADHD, she immediately pulled out her pad and wrote two scripts, one for Adderall extended and one for Adderall reg for a boost during the mid day. She is a highly respected doctor in the community with a wait list for clients. Honesty is all you have. The more you hide from your doctor, the more your doctor will wonder what you are hiding. They see drug seekers and honesty every day. They know the difference.
Take care of your self first and foremost. You are the only one who will after all is said and done.
I am using clonidine to help with my oh, what’s it called?…. rejection sensitivity… I think it’s working lol… I use trazodone for sleep, so I cannot attest to clonidine’s affect in that department, sorry!