Masterofdisaster

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  • in reply to: ADD Man + ADD Woman = Anything? #79568
    Masterofdisaster
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    I can tell you from personal experience (I’m female) that when trying to find a significant other, someone whose entire existence ‘revolves’ around ADD isn’t very attractive.
    To explain further, my [male] ex had EXTREMELY bad ADD, the likes of which i’ve never seen in anyone else I know, including myself (I was diagnosed with ADD the same year I dumped him after I noticed a LOT of similar habits and quirks between the two of us and got curious). I could go on for HOURS about how much of a pain in the ass he was. This wasn’t exclusively due to ADD or anything, it was some ADD ‘quirks’ along with aspects of his personality that, when combined, made for some incredibly juvenile, and unfortunately dangerous behavior. He blamed his socially unacceptable behaviors and actions on virtually everything and everyone except himself, but the most popular thing he’d blame was his ADD.
    Unfortunately, coming right out and admitting you have ADD from the get-go can be a major turn-off for some people, especially if they’re not very informed about it and have only been exposed to ADD stereotypes. I kept trying to tell him that, when meeting people, romantic or otherwise, he should focus more on his actual personality, not just the fact he has ADD since ADD is not exclusively ‘your personality’ and certainly shouldn’t be the only thing you claim to offer in a relationship (again, romantic or otherwise). I’m not saying this is the type of vibe you’re intending to send out, but it could appear that way to some people, which could be the cause of the lack of responses.

    In contrast, I met my current boyfriend a bit over a year ago by total chance via a site that’s technically not supposed to be a ‘dating site’, but kinda ended up being that for us XD
    He had written up a very nice profile that spoke of his many interests, a lot of which aligned with my own. I could tell exclusively from what he wrote that he had/has ADD (I was correct), but that was only cause ever since I diagnosed myself before approaching my GP about getting meds, I’ve been highly aware of ‘signs’ and ‘symptoms’ to look for in others (it’s not a matter of wanting to ‘pry’, i just know based off how much my meds helped me, I want others i care about to be informed and get the help they need too).

    TL;DR version of this? Be yourself!! As stereotypical as that probably sounds, it’s honestly true! ADD is one tiny piece of a whole you!

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