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  • in reply to: Not sure what is going on #80655

    In Kindergarten my son tackled a boy in his class giving him a bloody nose….Big grin from my son! It didn’t really occur to him that he just hurt someone, he just wanted to play and liked physical contact (sensory motor – HYPO sensitive – I hugged him A LOT). When his teachers pointed it out he was very apologetic – he really liked the boy! At 13 he continues to have peer challenges (not tackling….) 😉 He is extremely joyful and kind – adults usually love him but grant him some passes that his peers wouldn’t. He annoys his peers – too close in proximity, talking a lot about what is interesting to him but not necessarily them.

    We tried many alternative therapies for sensory motor processing and finally came to the conclusion (and official diagnosis) that he has ADHD and with anxiety. He is about 3 years behind in his social skills but finally has some friends (age 10, 11) who are high functioning autistic and think he is the BEES KNEES. He also gets along well with girls about the same age.

    Its so hard and confusing. No one could quite figure him out for so long.

    We homeschool now but he has a lot of chances for social activity – swim team, homeschool group, extra classes. We got an IEP for him and requested Pragmatic Speech Therapy. He receives this weekly but in the form of a social group (4 kids with similar issues working on pragmatic speech together). It is GREAT! We have a great therapist and a great group of kids. It feels less like therapy and more like a play group but they are learning a LOT together. There should be many, many, many more groups like this.

    I highly recommend professional diagnosis (or another evaluation by someone else). Did you POINT BLANK request an IEP Evaluation for social/emotional, pragmatic speech? Don’t let them throw you into SST meetings – it is usually a time killer for the school. If you did do an IEP evaluation and they did not provide a diagnosis, I would request a meeting with the IEP team and insist on a diagnosis or re-evaluation. If they are not able to provide go through your medical provider.

    Give that boy LOADS of hugs and love!

    in reply to: Behavioral Therapy Not Working #71710

    Tickets/Points always has felt like bribery to me – Maybe as a result of my not being comfortable with the process it never worked for my son either.

    What helped A LOT (note – nothing is 100%) was “time in”. This helped not only my son but it helped my husband and I establish a more positive approach after just being plain worn out to the point of feeling resentful.

    “Time In” is setting aside 10 minutes a couple of times a day (more time if you have time) to play with your child. His choice of activity (LIKE IT OR NOT!!!), no phone/ipad/computer for parent or child, no parental instruction, no conditions (i.e. we’ll do this IF you do that); set a timer. If a fit is thrown or rudeness occurs during that time then you can give a warning that you will postpone your time-in for another time when he/she can speak nicely/play fairly (or whatever).

    Options my son chose were: playing catch, playing a game (we even willingly played the ones we hate!), puzzle, walk, trampoline, legos etc.
    There is no “Earning”the time in. He just gets it.
    We couldn’t say no to the activity
    No TV/Movie watching. It must be actively engaging.

    My son started knowing when to ASK for positive attention rather than doing things that caused negative attention. We started having FUN again with our son and appreciating him more.

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