Marianbookwarm

My Forum Comments

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  • in reply to: adhd fatigue #59190
    Marianbookwarm
    Participant

    I deal with this on some level too. For me it’s more in the form of I can successfully focus on one thing a day. From there, it’s iffy to non-existent. Not the best thing when you’re working and in school. I have found for some crazy reason my focus is best if I can actually get myself up and moving around 2 or 3am. The problem is actually getting up and moving, still haven’t found a solution to that one. Before I was started on adderall, I was on lexapro for anxiety, I found that it was actually making my ADHD symptoms worse. Apparently my anxiety is a self medicating thing, you take that away, I can’t focus. So, got off the lexapro and got a cat and found a wonderful man who takes me as I am. Between the two, I’ve been able to fight off the anxiety, well keep at functioning levels anyway. I think part of the problem is getting into this hyper focus mode, and once I’m out of it there is no focus. I think I’ve learned how to hyper focus on things I don’t even enjoy (two hours sustained focus on math homework, I hate math, I’ve always hated math, I’m not even a math major, it used to be 30 minutes was my max). I haven’t really found a solution, though I have found doing yoga every other day does help me feel more energized. But I still regularly end up taking at least one lazy day a week, whether I really have the time too or not. I think it’s just part of the ADHD and the amount of effort it takes to focus, even on meds. At a certain point our bodies just say nope, I’m done, let me scatter, and there’s nothing we can do. It sucks, but it’s part of the wonders of the ADHD mind.

    in reply to: Why couldn’t they have just told me? #58977
    Marianbookwarm
    Participant

    I was diagnosed at 22. My brother in law was actually the one to suggest I may have it when I was 18. When I was in high school, especially towards the end, I thought that I did have it. So, when my brother in law suggested it, I went searching through the paperwork my parents saved from when I was in 4th grade. I was in a private school at the time, and the school insisted that I get a screening by a counselor, so not true diagnosis, but a direction. Over the course of my years after that, I was told I was fine. Even when I explained to my Dad that I wanted to be seen by someone because I could tell something was wrong, because I was having panic attacks (which ended up phrased as randomly bursting into tears at school) he stood by I was fine. Well, the results from that screening came back most likely ADHD- inattentive type. Since moving out at 18, it’s actually more like ADHD combo. They had managed to get me to suppress the hyperactive part, so it all went to my head. The panic attacks, that’s part of the ADHD, I keep up with my meds (not even required more than any other day) and I don’t have them. I’m still in college right now, I’ve gone from B’s basically when I was in high school, to A’s in college. From one college class at a time, to a full 12 credit hour course load and President’s list. To a 13 credit hour load and Dean’s list. To finishing up my associates this fall, 14 credits. All while working. All just by getting a diagnosis and treatment plan. I’ve learned it’s best to just not talk to my parents about it. Now, they try to tell me how to take my medication, even though I still don’t live with them, have no plans to move back in with them. I think with my parents, especially Dad, it stems from not understanding, or Dad sees it in himself too and he is in denial. At this point, I’m now 24, I’ve mostly moved on. As long as I don’t have to talk to my parents about it. 6 years, it took me 6 years to stop feeling mad at them. Now, I’m just determined not to do the same thing to my kids when they come along. Because honestly, I feel it hurt me more than helped. Just explanations can help heal, why keep that from someone?

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