Lys

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 51 total)
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  • in reply to: Concussion and ADHD #190732
    Lys
    Participant

    I hear you about the cost of Vision Therapy — right now, I’m probably the most expensive thing in my house! I can’t quite see how I could have had improvements after so long by myself, because the workarounds got so entrenched that I couldn’t see what I couldn’t see (literally!). I wish I knew about this much earlier. If you are trying to work on the exercise for yourself, maybe this would help? https://www.drsamberne.com/eye-exercises-for-concussions-traumatic-brain-injury/ These exercises are designed to be done at home. I like my blue light blocking glasses also, and I found the diet to be helpful as well (for more than just my focus). I hope you keep improving!

    in reply to: Concussion and ADHD #190658
    Lys
    Participant

    After 20 years of visual issues following a concussion, I ended up doing Visual Therapy and it’s making a huge difference. It turned out that I had a number of vision processing issues post-concussion (convergence problems, visual memory issues, and peripheral vision problems) that were making my brain work really hard and exhausting my energy. I’m now at the point that I can take a long walk outside without being nauseous due to all the movement in my peripheral vision, and I’m working now to be able to use the peripheral vision while I’m focusing one something as well. It’s hard enough to process things when you have inattentive ADHD (like me) without adding all the extra processing that the vision issues required. I highly recommend looking into Vision Therapy, given the symptoms you describe.

    in reply to: A Budget That ACTUALLY Works? #173473
    Lys
    Participant

    This book, “Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together”, could be very helpful: https://www.amazon.com/Broke-Millennial-Scraping-Financial-Together/dp/0143130404 . Make one change at a time, and start with the smallest change that resonates with you and you could sort of stick with. And don’t stop doing these changes even when you are tempted to give up on everything because it’s not enough.

    Lys
    Participant

    Yes, it is possible to do just fine in college with ADHD, my husband and I managed it (and did advanced degrees too). Will you manage astonishingly well? Maybe not, but plenty of people without ADHD don’t do so well either, because college is hard. It sounds to me like your family has problems of their own and are not able to solve yours right this moment, so your way to prove that you are ready is to move forward and attempt to solve them yourself. You have enough money for a semester, so that would give you some time to adjust. Make the preparations to go to college (accept etc.). Contact the financial aid office at the college for options, and ask how you can research if there any scholarships for people in your situation. If you have a formal ADHD diagnosis, contact the service for people with disabilities on campus and see what accommodations you have access to. Prepare to find a job the following summer, and check if the university facilitates a paid internship program (this is how I finished my Bachelor’s degree, by taking 16 months off to work in one of these programs, and I started college with $3000 in my pocket after the first semester fees). Contact other people that are starting or continuing their college journey and ask them what you should know. It’s particularly important for ADHD people to do things they are strongly motivated to do — that’s the only way they can learn, the only way the spirit is satisfied. And if you struggle and not succeed with college, you will still have learned a lot in the process to help you succeed at life.

    in reply to: Relaxing #140967
    Lys
    Participant

    This article from ADDitude had a tremendous impact for me: https://www.additudemag.com/how-to-motivate-adhd-brain-emotional-health/ . I didn’t manage to make a dent in this tension until I realized that it had a purpose, and I had to find other ways of accomplishing the same thing before I could let go.

    in reply to: HELLO! Can some ADHD vets help me with AVOIDANCE #140406
    Lys
    Participant

    This is the book that finally got me to stop procrastinating: “Mini Habits” by Stephen Guise (https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00HGKNBDK/ref=tmm_kin_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=&sr= ). It seems quite simplistic at first read, but asking myself “What is the smallest step that would bring me closer to my goal?” has helped me immensely. If your answer is something you’ll still procrastinate doing, you need to break it down further. For example, if you need to study, “take the book out of the bag” is a good first step, “put it on your desk” is the second, and “open it to the right page” is the third (only try to come up with one step at a time, something small enough it will only take a minute to do, do it, and then decide to stop or think up a next step). Hope this helps!

    in reply to: Reading Frustrations #122809
    Lys
    Participant

    Visual therapy and supplemental phonics training at home fixed my daughter’s reading problems. More amazingly, visual therapy fixed her classroom attention problems. Her last evaluation said that she loves learning and is actively guarding against disruptions to it! We were absolutely floored, and very grateful.

    in reply to: Questioning, Conversation Behaviors causing problems #105180
    Lys
    Participant

    From my own and my family’s experience, it looks to me like your daughter is suffering from anxiety coupled with a tendency to think out loud. Severe anxiety can really make the brain go blank, so yes, she might hear but not be able to use the answer because it doesn’t have the right emotional emphasis to break though her brain freeze. However, if somebody is getting really irritated by repeated or “dumb” questions and this strong emotion seeps into their voice, suddenly the answer get through. You know how you tell an ADHD kid to stop bouncing and they ignore you, and suddenly you lose the temper and yell and then they stop? And they don’t seem to have any awareness you said anything before although if pressed they will admit to hearing you? Basically it’s the same mechanism where the brain is stuck and can’t change the page.

    When a kid asks a “dumb” or repeated question, what works best for me is to help them think it through. So I would ask “Why are you asking?” or “Why is finding out <x> important?”. You might have to go several levels deep until something clicks. This exercise also helps them learn to do some internal processing which is necessary for asking more targeted questions that are likely to give them the answers they seek without needing an emotional charge behind it.

    Here are some resources that might be helpful: the book “Outsmarting Worry” targeted to kids (https://www.amazon.com/Outsmarting-Worry-Older-Managing-Anxiety-ebook/dp/B073PKJD8D/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1544459310&sr=8-1&keywords=outsmarting+worry), and GoZen (https://gozen.com/), a website with programs for kids’ mental well being and a very interesting blog.

    in reply to: What are meds supposed to feel like? Also, pms? #66754
    Lys
    Participant

    If a medicine doesn’t clearly help, stop it (notify your doctor first). There are other medicines you can try. It doesn’t take much to disrupt the delicate hormonal balance, and many medicines affect it. I found it very helpful to read the “Period Repair Manual, Second Edition: Natural Treatment for Better Hormones and Better Periods” by Lara Briden, which discussed various period-related issues and suggests ways to deal with them. A magnesium supplement every day and a zinc supplement in the latter part of the cycle fixed a lot of my PMS issues and helped a lot with my overall well being.

    in reply to: Adult Study Techniques #60169
    Lys
    Participant

    Generally ADHD people have trouble with either starting or finishing a task (I imagine some unfortunate ones have both, which must be truly incapacitating). My problem is with the former, and to advance the most useful thing for me is the “smallest step” technique. I ask myself: “What is the smallest thing I can do to advance on my task?” and the answer is usually something I feel capable of doing. That means: step 1: locate the backpack; step 2: get out the right book and notes; step 3: take them to the least distracting place I can think of; step 4: open to the right page, etc. etc. Often the first few steps are by far the hardest, after which the rest flow easily and I won’t have to ask myself the question unless I get stuck or distracted.

    Other helpful techniques for me:
    – set a timer for 15 minutes and when it rings figure out if I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing :),
    – write every timed task on the calendar, even if it’s small and you are sure you’ll remember,
    – write down before the assignment starts how you will know the assignment is completed (this stops me either from ignoring the last details or going deeply on a tangent),
    – tell somebody to check with you at a specific time if a task is done, or even just state an intention out loud to somebody,
    – try memorizing in motion (I basically walk around the room in circles and read out loud and then repeat to myself out loud what I have to remember — looks funny but it works),
    – keep in mind what the ultimate goal is (teaching English to non-English speakers), and visualize how what you are learning will be applied to the task. (I tend to get resentful and close-minded when I feel “I must do” something, and this is a good way to get me to remember what I actually want out of a task),
    – consider not taking notes. I cannot listen and write at the same time, plus my writing is nearly unintelligible when distracted, so I found it’s more useful for me to listen closely to the teacher and ask somebody for the notes (plus usually everything is online nowadays).

    Good luck on your new endeavor! You are motivated to work at it, so half the hurdles are already passed.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by Lys.
    • This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by Lys.
    • This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by Penny Williams.
    in reply to: Anger from Adult with ADD at Parent Over Late Diagnosis #58625
    Lys
    Participant

    I don’t know if asking specifically what she needs will give results. She probably would be upset because “you still don’t get it”. Tell her you love her and you did the best you could with the information you had, it is clear you didn’t do enough of the right thing, and you are very sad about it. Tell her about all the resources you are reading right now to try to understand (in detail), and that you hope in time you will be able to understand. And then wait and don’t put your emotional burden on her — there are some things she is only likely to understand when she has kids of her own.

    I also suggest that you and your husband get tested for ADHD as well, given the strong genetic component of ADHD. Because this may be a player in the relationship as well. If you are a neurotypical person and your husband has ADHD tendencies, you might have tried to single-handedly compensate for that by being responsible for all things that require consistency, such as discipline, and that’s how you get the brunt of anger now. In this case, your husband has to own up to being part of the problem. If you have ADHD tendencies yourself, you might have tried too hard to educate her to prevent the problems you have been facing (I can see that in myself). I would also recommend a reading of “Raising your Spirited Child” to see how your (inborn) temperamental traits might interact with hers; it may help narrow down the sources of friction.
    .

    in reply to: Is it ADD or a LD or something else ? #58235
    Lys
    Participant

    That’s a tough thing to have to deal with. Spaceyness is indeed the hallmark of inattentive ADHD (and don’t I intimately know it!), but it can be aggravated by multiple factors, such as stress and physical health problems. However, when we are interested in something, the hyperfocus kicks in and it’s suddenly easy. Do you have a hobby where you can concentrate for hours? If yes, it’s ADHD. If no, then I think it’s time to look for physical health issues, because if mental health was the only issue, all these psychiatrists would have done something to help.

    Two issues my family has personal knowledge of are asthma and sleep apnea, both of which could create the sort of symptoms you are describing. If you snore or have sleep disturbances, have a sleep test. If you react strongly to perfumes or smoke, cough for no reason, wheeze, or yawn as if gasping, check for asthma. The asthma was diagnosed for many years as anxiety disorder, and often led to obsessive thoughts — it was so odd to see all that disappear with a puff of the inhaler! ADHD people are all too primed to blame their mind, when in fact mind and body always go together.

    Something else to check is whatever medication you are being prescribed. Unfortunately, many people taking antidepressants for long term report decreases in focus, memory retrieval, overall motivation, and the emotions (both good and bad) have dampened which makes it hard to feel joy about anything. Often anti-anxiety and anti-psychotic medication is added to control the side-effects, and the resulting cocktail can be very damaging even after the medicines are stopped. Doctors often have no idea how to handle this, since there are so many different individual reactions. Do not cut any medicine cold turkey!!! Take a look at SurvivingAntidepressants.org to see if anything rings a bell.

    in reply to: Help – My 8 year old son is testing me! #58214
    Lys
    Participant

    Wow, that sounds like a bad situation! I’m very sorry to hear you are struggling with this. I have to admit that the whole situation is outside my experience, including the poo issue (!), but here are my thoughts from I and family has experienced about ADHD:
    – Many people with ADHD experience very low arousal and boredom feels truly agonizing. An adrenaline rush helps this state, so they will pick fights as a form of therapy and they perceive it as not being able to stop themselves. Does he have any hobby or activity that he enjoys doing? It may even be computer games; anything where he could build mastery is ideal. Catching him at the start of an episode and redirecting him to an activity that he enjoys may teach him to self-medicate a different way.
    – Again, many people with ADHD sometimes cannot stop doing something that they think is fun despite disapproval, especially if there are no consequences or they feel the consequences are business as usual. The consequences have to be related to the offense — do not cut computer time if they do not behave responsibly in the shower, for example. If they don’t behave responsibly during an activity, there have to be limits and close supervision during that activity. Yes, it may not be fun for all, so pick your battles wisely and address one issue at a time. One battle won will have a lot of positive impact.
    – For people with ADHD there is often very little that goes their way, often for reasons they can’t control, and it’s not because they don’t make an effort. A blow up may be the last straw of a set of difficulties. If they keep falling behind and being disapproved of, they may conclude that nothing they can do is good enough so there is no point of trying. Try to catch him doing something right, even if it’s small and should be a given for his age.
    – Look into ODD (oppositional defiant disorder). This site has a lot of resources, if you do a search. No ADHD person I’ve met is ever comfortable with authority, and taking a hard line with no explanation based on status will always result in non-cooperation. I presume ODD could be this tendency taken to the limit, and sounds like what you are describing. I do not have personal experience though.

    in reply to: Young Adult Transition #56117
    Lys
    Participant

    I’m very sorry to hear this. Sadly, he’s now an adult, or what passes for it, and you have to treat him as such. The days where nagging could help are over. Given that ADHD people are developmentally delayed in some areas, there is still hope that life might eventually click for him. Hugs!!!

    in reply to: Possibly Dyslexic as well as ADHD #56116
    Lys
    Participant

    I don’t know that I would deduce somebody is dyslexic based on this laundry list. I myself have a large number of the symptoms described, some due to ADHD (like the daydreaming, time issues, and math issues, which are a sign of poor working memory) and some due to SPD (sensory processing disorder, like the motion sickness and difficulty telling left from right, together with the more obvious sensitivities), yet I was an early, fast and compulsive reader and have no trouble spelling even in a second language. I have a friend who is dyslexic, however, and I asked him what it is like (was concerned for my kid, who is writing mirror image letters and left to right well past the time she should, but that seems to more of a left-handed issue in the end). The worst of it, for him, is that letters wiggle and change position while he is trying to read them. That means that even straight copying of a text will produce very misspelled results (for example, his checks would get returned constantly because he would write the recipient wrong, even with a bill in front of him — he thinks computer bill-paying is the best thing ever).

    That being said, when you can list 21 things you are unhappy about, it’s always a good idea to see a specialist. Number 6 on your list is probably the most worrisome in terms of a language-processing disorder. If a kid was involved, I would say the best bet for a big life improvement would be occupational therapy for SPD (see the book “The Out-of-Sync Child” https://www.amazon.com/Out-Sync-Child-ebook/dp/B00261OOVM/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1502023683&sr=1-3). Therapy seems to help children a lot — sadly for adults nothing much helps.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 51 total)