LILYANNA

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  • in reply to: High-Achieving Kid Envy at Graduation #52263
    LILYANNA
    Participant

    In terms of learning patience and optimism – I’m very impatient. It sounds like you are too. A lot of people with ADHD are. I’ve started going to a free group for families with ADHD/substance abuse problems (ADHD is linked to substance abuse) at my local church where we learn to turn our impatience over, say a quick prayer to the universe, and let go of self-will. It helps me be patient. I suggest you try out a group of some sort like that for parents/families – AA is free and worldwide, there are free anxiety groups, self-esteem groups, etc – to help you work through your feelings of shame.
    You want your son to be successful NOW – he’s so young! It’s up to God to decide when your son’s talents will surface – not up to you. The harder you try to GET your son through college and high school, compensate for his ADHD, organize his life for him, the more damage you will cause to yourself, him, and your mother/son relationship without realizing it – I saw this in my family – but thankfully my ADHD brother is starting college in September and he never finished high school!

    I wish you luck!

    in reply to: High-Achieving Kid Envy at Graduation #52262
    LILYANNA
    Participant

    I’m not a parent but I do have some encouraging words!
    Change your perspective:
    Look at your child’s ADHD as a gift not a disability – yes it’s a challenge for ADHD kids to fit it and be “like every student in the school” – but these early challenges will allow him/her to develop the attitude and determination to get through all of life’s challenges.
    Why can’t your child be BOTH high-achieving AND have ADHD?

    I was diagnosed with ADHD after high school and I graduated high school as a straight A student with award after award after award.
    Then ADHD nearly killed me and my best friend because I was driving distracted and so I decided to get a full testing procedure done with a psychologist. As I was struggling through University nearly failing my first year, a nurse told me that it was impossible for someone with ADHD to finish University and there was no way I would be able to do it. That really pissed me off and so I proved that silly nurse wrong and graduated with lots more As.
    This website is full of articles about incredibly successful people with ADHD – I encourage you to read them and imagine your child being like that one day.
    Michael Phelps the famous swimmer said once that swimming was how he managed ADHD – it was his way of coping.
    Education/reading was my thing – it’s clearly not your kid’s thing, but maybe swimming is.
    Maybe once your child finds his/her thing, he/she will zone into it with a focus that shocks ‘normal’ people and allows him/her to become WAY better at it than all those kids lining up right now to get their awards because people with ADHD struggle to regulate their focus so when things click they focus, focus, and focus for hours on end – unable to stop becoming really really good at that one thing.
    The world needs incredibly talented people and that’s how I consider my ADHD now – a challenge and a tool that helps me become even more incredibly talented and successful.

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