My Forum Comments
I had the same problem with upping my dosage and my psychiatrist recommended splitting it – 20mg at 6am, then 20mg more at 11am if I’m working…..or leaving it out altogether if I have a day off. I find that works well for the heart racing problem and panic of a sudden onset of a full dose.
As for acid reflux……… I often take mine with milk, or, when it was really bad, mixed the powder into yoghurt.
Well done on your job, btw! It’s a lovely feeling to finally be able to actually do something, isn’t it!? Just look after yourself.
Love and luck to you 😊
Honestly, I think the best thing to do is to confine them to being work colleagues – stick your fingers in your ears and ignore it all, because it’s so easy to get caught up in the bitchy politics…. I’ve done it myself, and they’re not your friends when things like redundancy happen! I think I’m overly cautious in my advice, but I really believe in separating work-you from not-work you..it’s tricky at first, but I feel so much calmer now
- This reply was modified 2 years, 11 months ago by liasamturn.
I had a similar crisis when I finished uni…always found school easy and didn’t start struggling with deadlines/self discipline until my final year…but then I was off the wall with anxiety and panic about what I was going to do with my life. I gave up on being a journalist because I realised a life of deadlines wasn’t going to be doable for me….then I was a teacher for a few years, which was when I finally got an adhd diagnosis!
After that I had about a year of panicking about what career I could have so had 4 unskilled jobs just to pay bills while I was adjusting…..they were all very physical jobs – building sites, cleaning, dog walking…and by sheer coincidence I realised that was what I felt happiest doing! It did suck at first…giving up on an academic sort of career I’d been told to pursue for my whole life….but now.. I don’t feel anxious or out of control very much anymore. I still have an unconventional mish-mash of jobs…. I work with dogs, build and freelance write because I do enjoy nerdy stuff…but once you ignore other people and really think about what works for you, I can promise you it’s so much better than just battling through stress and symptoms to do what you think you should be doing.
Also is it really essential that you decide in the next few days? Is it possible to take a few months working different non-pressured jobs so you can still earn while giving yourself a bit of head space? You sound very much like you’ve been flat out for a long time, which always makes us adhd lot go a bit frantic and unable to think about things objectively. You know like you’re stuck running on a hamster wheel…?
Also also… I really hope you don’t mind me saying because I appreciate some people don’t like taking meds, but I have always found that if I have hated taking meds it means they’re not working….when I’m properly medicated it feels like I’m not medicated, if that makes sense……it just finally felt like someone had flicked a switch in my brain to ‘normal’!
Have you spoken to a doctor and explained what’s going on?
Lots of luck to you, anyway. You’re not alone!
Definitely normal! I used to teach (there’s a pattern, here..😝) and that was also the thing that made seek a diagnosis -you’re automatically tuned into recognising how to help your kids succeed, so it’s only a matter of time before you see remarkable coincidences that you’re always given the kids no one else knows what to do with and look at why your superiors cite your ‘intuition’!
It’s a good thing. I felt embarrassed at first because I was helping kids with similar diagnoses for YEARS before I saw it in myself… I never told my superiors because I figured I was already behaving that way anyhow, and this remarkable revelation was only remarkable to myself. I did get made redundant this year, though, so perhaps telling them would be better….you sound more than competent – you could use it to your advantage!
Lots of luck to you
Hey! Very familiar situation pretty much to a tee. I learnt that you can never rely on the idea that your mum might change, because that’s entirely her remit and if she doesn’t want to have a reasonable chat about how to make your relationship less fractious then she won’t. What I did find worked was to emotionally distance myself a bit…..you know by building good relationships with other people that make you happy if you can, or if not something like getting a dog (escape walks!) or a consuming hobby or interest that means you aren’t always around each other. Even if it’s playing video games or painting in your room – I found that a lot of the meaningless interactions that happen when you’re in the same space and talking about the tv you’re watching etc often turns into arguments because of the built up resentment. I’m not suggesting you isolate yourself completely.. I ended up sitting in my room most of the time and that ends up being an equally bad problem!
Then I would suggest that, when you can, you little things like make a cup of tea or buy some flowers… I was unemployed when I moved back to my parents house so there was a lot of resentment about financially supporting me/watching me spend most days being depressed in bed (‘lazing around’, as they called it!). Little token gestures when possible are normally really appreciated and stop the tension (and so horrible burden guilt) for a while. Also makes gaming or spending time by yourself less of a point of criticism.
There’s a type of counselling called interpersonal therapy – some people go to manage how their symptoms affect their relationships, but a lot of people also go to find coping strategies so the behaviour of difficult family members doesn’t negatively affect them so much. I found it really helpful in recognising how the more I responded and defended my (obviously always right 😝) self when my mum started, the more it would fuel her and the less I’d be able to control flying off my adhd handle and making it worse. I never understood how saying nothing and walking away was good; I thought it horribly unfair to let her or anyone consistently bully people without being pulled up on it or seeking help for themselves. I still do, but started putting my own mental health above that, because..realistically..those arguments have never had a good outcome. She won’t work at it unless she wants to and the more you fight the worse you feel and the worse your relationship gets. Unfair, yes, but I felt so much happier just not responding and going off to read or something. If you don’t engage in the first place you can objectively see it and so feel empathy for her and whatever uncontrolled problems she has instead of reactive anger (which was almost always followed by 3am guilt for me). Especially if you’re at uni: do anything you can to minimise stress and look after yourself!
Thanks so much for sharing and advice.. I’ve had a lot of counselling and cbt but am researching therapies and techniques you’ve mentioned that I haven’t heard of – England always seems to be about 15 years behind the US in medicine and mental health especially. It’s always nice to know you’re not alone on here, too.March 30, 2018 at 12:55 pm in reply to: Anyone Else Diagnosed After Graduating College & Not Know What To Do Now? #80438
I’m like you in that I got through school and university a straight-A kid – the moods, guilt and difficulty focussing on things that aren’t immediately urgent and/or interesting (symptoms that tend to be more female/inattentive/overlooked at school etc) didn’t really start until I was 18ish, and it wasn’t diagnosed until I was 26 and had been screwing up at work a lottttttt!
I think the major thing to focus on, as with many adhd women, is guilt… I don’t think it’s so much unlearning things or ‘beating’ your adhd, but more accepting that, yeah, I find certain things really difficult and the life plans I had in my head aren’t realistic anymore – so what else can I do? I had grand plans of being my family’s definition of success too, and tbh it just made me ill. I think the key is working with what we have instead of trying to conform to standards of people whose brains don’t work like ours, you know? Realistically, your success will probably look nothing like that of your brother’s – mine doesn’t either, but a job in which I work with rescue dogs, have lots of breaks and freelance on the side works for me. I tried for yonks to bash a square peg into a round hole and be a city type who lived and breathed journalism, but you’ve gotta work with the cards you’re dealt and redefine success on your own terms. Being content with adapting is the most helpful thing I’ve ever realised.
Lots of luck to you x
Starbright, what a lovely bit of advice – one I wouldn’t have thought of myself. Thank you
Hi – I’m not a mum or a medical professional, but do relate to your doctor not knowing much about adhd. I did some reading for my pregnant sister a while ago, and the general conclusion was that coming off of the drugs gps prescribe and not substituting was equally harmful ; lisdex isn’t great for a fetus, but neither is the anxiety and overstimulation that results in not taking it. Can you ask to be referred to a consultant psychiatrist? That’s what my sister did eventually xMarch 19, 2018 at 2:13 pm in reply to: Any hyper girls out here? (Women with ADHD-combined) #79313
I was only diagnosed during my 20s as I got through school well…. I do think girls are mostly inattentive and are often overseen because of hyper boys – I’m a teacher and the neglect of adhd girls because boys seem to be more outwardly troublesome and adhd has historically been a ‘male problem’ is horrifying.
It was so overlooked that I didn’t even realise myself that I had a hyperactivity problem until I started work. It was quite catastrophic, actually, because it seemed to explode all of a sudden and get me into a myriad of bad situations. Even though I’m now properly medicated and don’t go off the wall anymore, I have to be constantly doing at least 3 things at once (like watching tv, researching 100 random things and planning lessons simultaneously). I’m still mostly inattentive/paying attention to the wrong things,but I seem to have found a group of women on here that have the same combined symptoms. I do think that female adhd tends to be more nuanced.
Good luck 🙂
I don’t have anything intelligent to add here…but I’ve recently started experiencing some very weird side effects of meds I’ve been fine on for a year….since I dyed my hair red, now I think about it! 😉 anyway, I hope you get some answers
That sounds exactly like the adhd I know and hate! My main symptom is that I cannot get the balance between hyperfocus and totally vacancy; it’s all or nothing…. For example (it’s a necessarily long example, so skip the next paragraph for tldr):
I spent all day today half asleep because I had nothing to do, but now – for the last 3 HOURS, actually – I’ve been on my ridiculous pattern of obsessive over-interest in everything at once.. I started learning German, but then I heard something interesting about genetic markers on tv so I had to research that, but that splintered off into researching 10 other things so my non-biology commuting brain could understand the first thing, oh but also I think I’ll take the dog for a walk; man, these new streetlights are horrible, I’m gonna research if they affect the circadian rhythm of wildlife….oh no I can’t, because I left my phone somewhere while I was looking for my boots.. I’d like some new boots, I’ll write that on my hand so I remember to get some when I get home so-no WAIT A MINUTEEEEE…why have I never considered becoming an animal behaviorist? Let’s read everything until my phone dies and finally stops me.
It’s exhausting… I’ve learnt that adhd people are only motivated by urgency or interest (see: becoming so absorbed in curiosity research or leaving bills until the last panic inducing reminder), which I reckon is the main tell of the disorder. I’ve always procrastinated on deadlines until I’ve left it so late it’s like having a rocket up my arse – urgency is just necessary for me to do something. Dopamine is a bit weird in adhd brains, too….studies mention it a lot..it doesn’t work in the same way as a normie feeling pleased about achieving something… When I’m really involved in something and it pays off, it’s like a massive high that I’ve been competent and productive(!!) but my superhuman feeling is almost always a result of hyperfocus….feeling like you’re riding a wave because interest and urgency power you through, which is great until the ‘what goes up must come down’ thing…
I’ve also learnt that this weird, flitty hyperfocus you’re talking about is almost ALWAYS followed by a crash that totally resembles the lethargy and absent minded nature of depression, from the sheer amount of energy you don’t realise it uses. I’ve honestly never had a time when I thought I was ‘happy and competent’ (which I realise, now, is just riding the hyperfocus wave) that hasn’t been followed by a crash that’s like having the wind knocked out of you.
One thing I will say…. I hope this whole post hasn’t come off as know it all bossiness, because I’m new to it myself and just happened to find an exceptional psychiatrist…is to try and describe behaviour more than feelings to your doctor…feelings tend to be a bit negated by doctors because they’re so subjective, but behaviour tends to be more objectively described – like describing how you’ve been flitting between tasks for 2 hours punctuated by running off to have a stress cry for 20 minutes (no? Just me?) instead of trying to explain that you feel sad or a bit scattered.
I don’t know where you live, but I reckons it would be worth you asking to be referred to a psychiatric specialist…they’re not as scary as they sound, and here in England at least they are the only ones with a real understanding of mental problems… I will always remember seeing my gp complaining that I couldn’t concentrate at uni and my head felt like a pressure cooker, and his response was simply: ‘….mmm…do you have a sore throat..?’ 😂
Lots of luck to you. You sound very clever and intuitive, so I’m sure you will get things sorted quickly 🙂
I really feel for you – it’s taken me hours to reply to this because I keep getting distracted by the dog/a desperate need to research bitcoin/going into rooms forgetting what my purpose was 😂
Your early life….at school etc…mirrors mine completely; I did surprisingly well considering I skived almost everything and crammed revision 2 days before my exams. It was never noticed by teacher, or myself, even, that I might have adhd because the inattentive type is so often overshadowed by the hyperactive type. I can understand why – someone who seems a bit dopey but isn’t failing isn’t as much of a concern when compared to hyperactive adhd kids who are flunking everything and can’t bear to sit still without an anger outburst every half hour. Inattentive adhd has only really been taken seriously in the UK in the last 5 years or so (not sure where you’re living – America is usually 15 years ahead of the UK in health and medication, so could be different for you).
One thing I will say….and I know a few people who successfully manage their symptoms without medication, so it’s very much individual choice….is that stimulant medication, the primary drug used to treat adhd, works on the impulse control and concentration receptors in the brain, so I’ve never heard of it having the negative creativity/personality dulling side effects you’re talking about. I get the lazy and unmotivated thing, too…you know when you feel like you’re in limbo between being awake and asleep?…and it immediately fixed that. The good thing about it is that it’s an instant medication, so you can try it once and it you hate it, you can stop immediately with no concern about withdrawal etc.
I’d suggest you asked your doctor to be referred to a psychiatrist or someone experience in mental health – GPs (here at least) haven’t quite caught up with mental health yet, so specialists have been and still are invaluable to me.
Lots of luck to you my friend. Also, you’re English is PERFECT – I hear that it’s the hardest language to learn, so props to you!December 4, 2017 at 11:26 am in reply to: How to deal with friends who don't understand your ADHD? #69614
I hate that you’re having to deal with this and that I don’t have any great answer for you…. I can only tell you that you’re not alone…and her spiteful ignorance isn’t your fault.
In my experience I think it’s just best to distance yourself from these kinds of people. That’s not to say sever all ties – some of my family are horrid when it comes to my adhd but I’m obviously very attached to them…. I just know now that I can’t count on them for support or let them affect my emotions too much. I’m mid 20s, too, and since being diagnosed have subconciously made closer friendships with people who accept me for who I am/have similar quirks. These people are probably already in your life, so my (rubbish?) advice would be to find them and lesson your emotional leanings on the people who aren’t capable of empathy…there’s no point trying to change your roommate beyond a certain point – if she’s not willing to try and understand, you’re talking to a brick wall and putting yourself through great upset in the process!
I don’t think I’m as experienced as you with the chaos that is adhd so this may well be…b.s…but I’m going to put my 2 cents in!
How you sound right now is very much how I was before medication. I’m not trying to preach that medication is the answer – good on you for finding another way to cope! – but I think medication has changed drastically in the last 10 years (it seems like it was a while ago you came off of yours). My older brother was medicated to the point of appearing to be a cast member of Walking Dead, but it hasn’t been the same for me, being that much younger; I just felt like the constant hamster wheel in my head had shut up for the first time since I could remember. I reckon that maybe meds might be worth revisiting because they’re less…horrific…nowadays. I hope that hasn’t p***ed you off – it’s just my opinion, and it reminded me of my brother’s crap experiences with meds.
Your son… I’m a teacher, and I feel so, so sorry for my adhd kids. 90% of staff at my school don’t believe adhd exists, so I can only imagine what a sh*t time you’re having. It sounds like your son is in high school (?) – is there a certain teacher that seems to get him or that he produces good work for? If so, push for a meeting with them. It’s so much easier once you have someone in the system on your side. If not – try to arrange a meeting in which you and your son can have your voices heard on your terms (i.e. not because he’s in trouble). I live in England, so am not sure how it works of you’re from over the pond, but often having a doctor present at these meetings is incredibly helpful. In my experience, lots of teachers will try to brush off parents’ concerns (not always with neglect – it’s so d*mn stressful and there just isn’t the budget to give children the support they deserve), so if you can get a medical professional to push your cause with their authority, it’s invaluable. It’s the only way I’ve managed to get my kids the support they deserve and protect them from ridiculous suspensions from behaviour that could have – should have – been prevented. Anyway, off track..
Lots of luck to you, mate 🙂