My Forum Comments
Before my husband and I got married we asked each other if there was any health issues (physical mental etc) that we had or our families had. We both fully disclosed everything we knew. If your husband didn’t I’d say there are two reasons, either you never asked or he was ashamed. I personally wouldn’t be angry with him if it was something that neither of you thought to bring up. He may have not thought it was relevant or a big deal. If you did ask and he lied (didn’t give relevant information) I think I would also be very hurt, because he should have trusted you. However, you need to understand that for some people, especially men, feeling imperfect, is a really hard thing for them to come to terms with. He may have been teased as a child or made to feel embarrassed by family. I think you should discuss it with him and try to find the route of why he didn’t tell you and explain to him that your love is unconditional but that you do need him to be unfront and honest with you so that you can fully trust him.
We decided to medicate when my son’s symptoms were so extreme that he was constantly getting in trouble at school and home and we felt it was harming his self esteem. We decided to medicate when my daughter came home every day from school having no idea what she learned and I had to reteach her the lesson in order for her to do her homework. We decided not to medicate our other son because his symptoms were not interfering “enough” with his home or school life to make him unhappy or his teachers unhappy and he improved a lot with some simple behavioral organizational strategies. If symptoms are mild you can try fish oil capsules aimed at helping ADHD symptoms. There are no known risks and there are studies that show benefits especially in concentration.
Cynthia, I have a suggestion for you. Find a doctor (neurologist or psychiatrist) who specializes in ADHD diagnosis/treatment. There are tests like TOVA that cannot alone be used for diagnosis but in addition to the symptom description be used in conjunction to make the diagnosis.