kJCJ

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  • in reply to: I'm so tired of this #106508
    kJCJ
    Participant

    ADHDMomma, Thank You!! I want to tell you how much I appreciate your advice. I’m at my wits end at times but I will ALWAYS welcome advice and suggestions on how I can be and do better. So Thank you very much.

    in reply to: I'm so tired of this #106369
    kJCJ
    Participant

    Thanks Boomer and Bert!! I’m new to this forum and need a lot of advice. There is so much advice for parents of young children with ADD but not for parents of young adults. I’m actually in counseling for a lot of the issues I encounter with him which is how I found this online publication. I think you’re right about the family vacation. I tell my kids often that vacations are not promised because as a single mom, money is always a concern. I try to give them as many experiences as I can because the next vacation is never a guarantee. That being said, I will take him with us but he has lost the opportunity for input.

    I like the idea of notes on his door. More specifically on his TV because I have a whiteboard in his room and in the kitchen where I leave him notes and he still claims to miss them. He will even claim to miss my text reminders (I know he is lying). Most likely, he put it off and then forgot like Boomer’s daughter.

    I read an article in ADDitude that said that ADD individuals don’t fully mature until about 35 or 40. I was looking for information and encouragement for my adult son with ADD. I was crushed. Do I have the stamina to deal with his immaturity for another 15 to 20 years? It brought me to tears. At this point, he is incapable of living alone or moving out. He cannot manage money or defer any gratifications so that he can plan for tomorrow. He lives in THIS MOMENT, RIGHT NOW!! Tomorrow is not a consideration. All I can do is pray it will get better. I remind him often in moments of desperation that I will not be here forever and I have got to get him to a place where he can take care of himself. That is my job as his mom. But I don’t think he hears me…any more than I heard my mom when she said similar things when I was young.

    Advice from anyone with older children with ADD is SOOOO appreciated. I fell like I’m as lost as he is.

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