Kevin Ju

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 86 total)
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  • in reply to: ADHD and Major Depression #43412
    Kevin Ju

    This reply was originally posted by user MoonlightDragonfly in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    Hi Sarafina

    I remember all too well what it felt like to have ADHD and be a teenager. I would cry at some moments and then be really happy and exuberant at other times. I often felt misunderstood and, at times, angry.
    To be frank, some of what your going through may be related to hormones. Our bodies go through alot of changes in our teenage years. Ironically, I am struggling with hormones now as I head into menopause (I’m 45 years old). It is a frustrating process.
    My biggest piece of advice is to take a deep breath and take your day one hour at a time, heck sometimes even one breath at a time. Life can be really overwhelming and when we let our thoughts and feelings run rampant (as we ADHD folks are so prone to do) we can lose perspective. At night, it can help to tell yourself that you will address an issue in the morning and redirect yourself to focusing on just breathing and resting in the current moment.
    With regards to your best friend, she’s been loyal to you so far and that is a great blessing. Make sure to tell her how much you appreciate her kindness, compassion, and support. If you get angry, apologize. If you’ve gotten angry and regret it, think about what you can do next time to handle things more appropriately.
    Most of all, be gentle and kind to yourself. I think it is great that you are here and reaching out for support and advice. You are wise to do so.

    in reply to: I feel cursed. Does anyone else? #41311
    Kevin Ju

    This reply was originally posted by user rbr in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    52 and just realized that I’ve had this all of my life. My version is calm and not hyper—and I’m also hyperfocused. It’s only recently that the internet has offered better descriptions for ADHD – I had taken tests before and never come close.

    Until ten years ago I made my living as a creative professional musician, and this not only played on my strengths but also excused all of my quirks. I thrived and overachieved for many years.

    I can’t imagine how a non-creative ADHD person could get through this without help, and it breaks my heart to think of it.

    This has hit me hard in the last ten years, though. I’ve struggled keeping up with the routines of exercise and nutrition that used to keep me strong and on track. My organizational skills have gone from barely there to non-existent.

    I despise a cluttered home, yet here I am. 52 years old and I FORGET to clean up after myself.

    Mostly I feel disappointed that I’ve lost ten years of my life – unhappy in my work and location but somehow unable to pull out of it.

    At the moment I don’t care what it’s called. If this is something I can manage that will let me get back to being successful and free and happy- I’m all in.

    in reply to: ADD + Comorbid Anxiety and Depression #40592
    Kevin Ju

    This reply was originally posted by user CindyW in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    Sometimes it doesn’t help to know a lot of people are struggling with the same thing! It would be better if someone had this figured out and could share it.

    It’s true that ADD, anxiety, and depression are a triple threat. You’re too depressed to do active things that help, so that makes you anxious. Which makes it harder to be organized, because your brain is bouncing around in your head like a ping pong ball. Which is very depressing. Which makes it hard to get organized…

    I feel that way at times every single day. Or sometimes, all day, too!

    In addition to just breaking things down into tiny next steps, one ridiculous thing I tell myself about my anxiety is that I have ADD. If I wait a few minutes, my feelings will change and I won’t feel so anxious or depressed. You would be surprised how much that can help. Give yourself permission to be the way you are – I know how stupid that sounds, but don’t you also beat yourself up for not being able to get better or be different?

    If you have a collection of photos, select ones make you happy. Family, nature, buildings, Cheezburger memes – it doesn’t matter. Flip through them and enjoy them. It’s okay to spend a little time on this.

    About your money. Start by getting rid of every single automated buying thing – like having your credit card on iTunes. Then hide money from yourself – not much, but put a $1 bill away when you can. Or even a dime. I did that, and when I wanted to get something, I counted my stash and if it was enough, I bought it. If not, I put another dime in. Also sounds stupid, but it was fun and it worked. A penny is even better!

    Good luck! Take care of yourself and try to be okay with who you are. You have a lot of friends on this thread who have great ideas! I’ll use of them myself.

    in reply to: ADD + Comorbid Anxiety and Depression #40589
    Kevin Ju

    This reply was originally posted by user PaigeA in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    My experience has been that ADD, Depression and Anxiety are a trinity of conditions that often cluster together or overlap, like the VEN diagram we learned about in school. Picture 3 circles overlapping a central point. I have all three, and take medications for all three, and could literally take your original post and plug in my meds and post it as my own. All of it. So know that you and I are not alone. I have just joined this and another support group through ADDitudes and hope it will be additionally helpful. Though there is no perfect combination and I am currently struggling with many and most of the same issues as you related in your post, I do feel there is hope in the balance of the medications with other treatments. I have started using an app on my iPhone to sleep at night that starts with a 10 minute meditation and promotes deep sleep using brainwave sounds and a choice of ambience sounds like rain, birds, waves, etc. (I have a vicious sleep disorder as well called Rem Sleep Behavior Disorder – RBD). The meditation is helping me get to sleep faster and sleep better, and my goal is to incorporate mediation in my daily life. Mindfulness has been said to help the ADD brain to focus on ourselves and to learn to shut out the cacophony of irritants to which we are all constantly exposed to in today’s multi-tasking marketplace.

    I think you(we) got some terrific feebdback and wish you well in your journey. Bite off a small task and complete it. One at a time. We can do it.

    in reply to: ADD + Comorbid Anxiety and Depression #40585
    Kevin Ju

    This reply was originally posted by user frankiebgoode in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    I’ve been struggling with a very similar situation for a long time. I only got my ADD diagnosis about a year ago, and Adderall has had limited usefulness. Before my ADD diagnosis, I was given Sertraline for depression and it… basically made me crazy, so I’m not taking an anti-depressant for my comorbid issues with anxiety/depression.

    I recently discovered that the birth control pills that I was taking were severely affecting my depression issues. I stopped taking them entirely and it’s helped clear up my thoughts and emotions enormously. I’m still having motivational issues, but I’ve been reading that it can take a long time for hormones to balance themselves out…

    I think you would be best served by making sure that your hormone levels are where they should be and that something isn’t having an adverse effect in that area of your life.

    I know it’s hard and frustrating to feel like nothing is working. Three weeks ago, I was in the exact same boat, wondering what the point of anything was if I couldn’t function… It’s not 100% with me. It’s probably not even 50% with me, and your situation may be different than mine, but don’t give up. I know it’s easy to say, and I know that doing this without the support of family and friends is excruciating… but, it can get better. It’s a matter of finding what isn’t working for you and why it’s not working. I hope that you’re able to, and that you know you’re not alone.

    in reply to: To medicate or not to medicate? #40718
    Kevin Ju

    This reply was originally posted by user Lean~In in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    The lowest dose of generic Adderal plus Wellbutrin seems to work for me. BUT LET me positively say that Meditation, even 5 minutes a day, is of great use for when I notice the rise of scattered thinking (noticing when it begins). Do you recognize when you are starting to loose it?

    *I find I take LESS of those medications now as the calming effect and focus provided by practicing meditation, exercising in the form of weeding the soil in preparation for a Spring garden and noticing my food intake provides for a calmer state of mind. No Fake food here!

    It’s helpful to recognize and write it down, to help you remember and create a trail of breadcrumbs as to what REALLY works for you. We’re are all special, unique and life continues. It can be good. Let me salute YOU! in your search for wellness.

    in reply to: To medicate or not to medicate? #40714
    Kevin Ju

    This reply was originally posted by user adhdmomma in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    It really depends on each individual and the severity of your ADHD if therapy and alternative treatments will be enough, or if you really need medication for your ADHD.

    Here’s expert insights on this very question:

    Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    in reply to: To medicate or not to medicate? #40711
    Kevin Ju

    This reply was originally posted by user John Tucker, PhD, ACG. ADHD Coach in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    Sometimes meds are miraculous. Sometimes clients try them and then ditch them. Meds do not stay in your system so you can safely explore and then decide.

    If you are leary of meds you can also try cleaning up your diet. That can work wonders.

    in reply to: Organization Tips? #43324
    Kevin Ju

    This reply was originally posted by user SusanAnn in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    The disability office is the place to go. You can receive a variety of services from free books, to keeping a scholarship when taking less than a full class schedule, testing mods, etc

    in reply to: Organization Tips? #43322
    Kevin Ju

    This reply was originally posted by user adhdmomma in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    Here are some articles on organization for college students:

    There are lots of great strategies in those articles!

    ADDconnect Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    in reply to: Organization Tips? #43319
    Kevin Ju

    This reply was originally posted by user Clever1 in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    If you are getting any services in school, you should go to the disability office and ask if they can point you to someone. Even if you aren’t getting services, go and ask. Good luck!

    in reply to: ADD + Comorbid Anxiety and Depression #40582
    Kevin Ju

    This reply was originally posted by user Marr in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    I’m so sorry you and others feel this intensity in this way right now! It’s frustrating when we feel so much a loss of control over our bodies, how we would like to feel and when it is so on going

    It is terrible to feel that others don’t get us, whether they do care but still don’t understand or others who don’t really care. All of them do not live in our body. Mine doesn’t get it either but he love me for other reasons. and there are things that I don’t get about him either.

    I highly recommend having your hormones checked out. Yes changes like that do effect so much, but it’s not worth doing ourselves in over. Those who love you will suffer from your lose from this world. You have something to bring to it. There is not anyone like you that have the same combination of talents you have, and personality in combination. You are a gift to the world and have something only you can share. Your smile your manner of being here is a wonder and blessing. Give the gift of yourself to you and to others.

    I would get myself into bright warming flood lights whether you get some into your home or go out into shops with beautiful things displayed under them if you can get yourself out of the house. Visit with the sales person some if they seem friendly. During really
    bad times I also tried some St John’s Wort.

    If your having trouble choosing sock, stick to two colors. Dress in ways that you feel nurtured, example I love soft textures so I wear them, in sweaters, and scarfs, If you like pika dots wear them often. I use scents. Lavender is calming, orange and lemon lifting. I have a tabletop water fountain that I listen to or YouTube natural sounds. They have water fountain ones too. I saved out a string of Christmas lights and put them in a cut glass bowl and now I’m going to enjoy them all year round whether from my couch or just being in the room. I watch birds from my windows, lay in my hammock, rock in a rocker or glider. Wear hats that sing to my heart. Create a small space that is your mini oasis inside and outside your home. Do be sure to do something everyday that you love, once found joy in, or brings tenderness into your life daily. Record them and read them occasionally. It helps you remember what you like or what has meaning to you.

    Learn from examples of courage around you. People who have gotten thru rough things, and find out what they did to get them on the other side to live with dignity amidst hardship and life time issues. Read the stories of others on this site or TED Talks etc. I read a story about a gal who could no longer walk, but still wore her high heel shoes while in a wheelchair instead of getting rid of them because she could no longer walk in them. How can you show up in “high heels” in your own life? You can a little at a time. What little thing can you do like that that could help you get thru another day.

    Allow yourself what you need that is lifting to make your world work for you. Keep things real simple if need be. Like the sock, it makes the matching of them easier if you have two colors all the same type, like tan and blue or black and white. Hooks instead of hangers. One or two boxes for your shoes. Your most used ones will always be on top. File by broad categories. Colored folders. Use colored items to find them easier. Allow yourself what you need to do to make your world work for you instead of you working for it. Use your spaces in how you want to live your life not necessarily how the whole world thinks you should. Adrianne Benefit found her client was an advid crafter and needed space for thoses items including fabrics, but she hardly used her kitchen cabinets. So they had a small area for the clients quick meal prep for her microwave meals, and the rest of the kitchen cabinets had her crafting supplies and table and counters for working with her projects. Thinking out of the box in our own circumstances create new life and vistas into our old.

    You can have some control were you can by your own creations in your environment even if the doing is done in small amount of time. You change just some part of your own world that can bring back some positives while you gradually learn to deal with the rest.

    After seeing numerous doctors the past 21 months, I’ve been struggling with overwhelming Chronic Fatigue which has been depressive and significant weakness in my arms and legs that came on suddenly on top of already having ADD.I have been practicing all that I’ve shared to help me survive all of it.

    I am hoping that something’s I’ve shared might help you and others continue along life’s path.

    in reply to: ADD + Comorbid Anxiety and Depression #40577
    Kevin Ju

    This reply was originally posted by user John Tucker, PhD, ACG. ADHD Coach in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    The terrible thing about depression is that everything folks tell you to do is what depression stops you from doing. Exercise, diet, meditation, and pulling oneself up by the bootstraps are all out of reach. It’s a vicious irony.

    So what to do? All these things can work if you can only get to do them. Everyone responds differently but it often happens that if you can do a tiny bit more of anything that brings you joy, comfort or peace, you are headed in the right direction.

    If the Boston Marathon is out of the question then perhaps a longish walk might help. If religion, meditation and yoga are out of reach then perhaps going to an art gallery or a library can be diverting.

    Spontaneous remission is possible but not that likely. The key is to learn to forgive yourself for all those things which are past (most of which are not your fault anyway) and do little things which are even mildly useful.

    Also helping others, done often enough, can help shut down the internal judge. It’s not an instant cure but it can be a brick for a new foundation.

    Your well written post is an example of a step in the right direction.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 7 months ago by Kevin Ju.
    in reply to: Recently diagnosed and feeling stigmatized #41295
    Kevin Ju

    This reply was originally posted by user Chanelelisef in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    Hi Kayla, I’m so glad I found your comment… I actually made an account just to respond! I’m Chanel, 24, and working as an Acute Medical RN in Canada.

    I was originally diagnosed with ADHD (inattentive) early 2015. The diagnosis explained a lot and I was relieved at first- like many. I started taking medication to help me get through my days in an attempt to fix 22 years of issues in one day- it worked well but the side effects from many medications didnt seem worth it to me. I’m currently taking dexedrine spansules which really help me feel motivated and alert while at work, but came with terrible nausea and extreme weightloss. I sometimes wonder if there is another way to treat all of this, you know? I then began to feel maybe all of this just wasnt for me… that I didnt actually have ADD, or that I was just lazy, unmotivated and that I had somehow been misdiagnosed… that it was just all thanks to personal character flaws… “my own fault due to lack of strength and willpower”, not a biological and genetic condition.

    Very recently (Today actually!) , I actually stumbled upon an article by Dr. Hallowell regarding the difference between ADHD and ADD because I was feeling rather frustrated and stigmatized as well- from peers at work of all placed! I immediately began laughing at the descriptions he wrote about because I honestly couldnt believe my eyes…. someone was writing out my life- piece by piece. every little quirk or trait that I was ashamed of growing up…. it all added up to this lovely thing we call ADD. So I read every article on his site and bought his book “driven to distraction” this morning. its phenomenal so far- I’ve sent it to every member of my family, as well as my boyfriend who happens to have a new ADD diagnosis as well.

    I would highly recommend giving it a read and maybe passing it on to your family. even reading a few quotes to my friends today had them going…. “wow I cant believe those are symptoms of ADD” or “I just thought it was for little boys who cause trouble in grade school… I had no idea!”

    I hope you find some comfort in your diagnosis. I’m personally so excited and thrilled to have found this community and all of these resources. I’m really ready to step into a new year and take my life into my own hands for once- a fresh start!

    Congrats on getting some answers, Kayla! Feel free to drop me a msg any time. sounds like we lead very similar lives!


    in reply to: Recently diagnosed and feeling stigmatized #41292
    Kevin Ju

    This reply was originally posted by user adhdmomma in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    What’s most important is your own acceptance of the diagnosis and taking steps to improve areas of weakness. You cannot please everyone, and, as long as they accept you for who you are, it really doesn’t matter if they accept the label.

    An important article on accepting the diagnosis and moving forward:

    Moderator, Author on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen boy with ADHD, LDs, and autism

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 86 total)