My Forum Comments
I waited until I was 60 which is too long. I look back and wonder what could have been. I lost a child at 26 who was not treated and now believe that could have turned out differently. We are all different. The risk taking the medication seems to be mostly if your child does not have ADHD. It worries me that people are cavalierly diagnosing ADHD because it is a very subjective diagnosis. The effect that the medication has on your child is used to confirm a diagnosis. Anyone can take a stimulant and be more attentive. If your child takes a stimulant and calms down I would be more impressed. Medication and treatment go hand in hand but if you wanted to be cautious I would think you could start therapy first. ADHD seems to cause a slower maturity curve so an ADHD child may do better with kids 10-20 percent younger than they are. Learning ability is only secondarily caused by ADHD, lots of people that are ADHD are very quick readers and learners so don’t buy that one. I could talk forever but I try not to.
Hi Kries, let me chime in but the best advice is that you have to really pay attention to what your body tells you. I am fairly typical ADHD and 61 years old. I only started treatment about 9 months ago. My hyperactivity seemed to me to be unexplained anxiety. Anxiety has a cause and mine didn’t because it was hyperactivity. It became a problem for me at an age where male hormones drop so it probably is similar to all the women that don’t get diagnosed for ADHD because we expect anxiety for no reason in women (not really funny). I got great relief after the dose went to 20. I think they look to be careful and start you slow. As for the coffee I have pretty much gotten by with coffee for the last 30 years because I did not have stimulant medication, and we need stimulant. I was up to 2 pots a day which causes problems on its own. Coffee works in the same direction as adderal for me so I can have a cup in the morning and it helps and I use it as I please. I am one of those people that can drink coffee and go to sleep and I can also nap on adderal, but that is contrary to most people. Alcohol works against the stimulant and I don’t think any doctor would tell you it is a great thing if you have ADHD. That said if a glass of wine or a drink makes you feel better I don’t think it’s prohibited. Best of luck.
Gerlach was the name of the author for the you tube videos I found really helpful.
Hi meandb. I was also like that and am now 61 years old and getting treatment. I grew up in a different time and a place where there were a ton of kids in my neighborhood. I managed to learn something from each of them about dealing with life and I got by, not well but I got by. I went through a lot of friends. Bear with me because I am going to suggest treatment as though she had some trauma. Not that she did, but what you describe is trauma in itself. Rather than wait until she is old and looks back at this as her trauma you could very well stop it now. It would require you learn the treatment and that she trusts you.
The treatment is called “inner family” and there is a series of videos on you tube or just search for videos on yahoo or whatever you use. It takes a real effort to understand it but it is really helpful for someone that would like to change which parts of their personality shine. The basic premise is that the “family” is all the “selves” or “parts” of your personality that make up who you are. Sort of like sybil but in a safe and happy way. A good hint is that all of your parts are “good” and mean well. Giving them names and understanding what drives them lets people manage their personality in a way that was really fun for me. I had to watch about 6 hours of video before it clicked. I wish I had this 55 years ago. Wishing you the best.
I grew up with 5 brothers and I always thought I would be more social if I had sisters, more feelings stuff. One thing to watch for is that they recently eliminated ADD as a valid diagnosis by the people that decide those things. As best I can tell they are implying that there is always a hyperactive component to some extent. Now I am guessing but I think it was because they were missing the way hyperactivity can display in girls. (not always like the boys) Mostly more emotional than physical and can look just like anxiety or something else that may not have been as recognizable as hyperactivity.Tell your daughter I waited until I was 60 to go to therapy to learn what adhd people have to learn to succeed. That whole thing about”needing to be fixed” is true and sometimes you have to forcefully inform her that therapy does not work if you don’t go. And yes, you have to try. I wish you both the best.
mom, I was your kid 45 years ago and my heart goes out to you. I actually got an F- in Spanish, seemed spiteful. I did manage to barely graduate and by the time I was 20 I had matured enough to get married and join the Air Force. I pretty much hated school after leaving a small elementary school where you had mostly the same kids in your class every year. If there is a way to get him in a situation he is more comfortable with that would have to help. I had a lot more freedom as a kid. We walked all over the place and I was always happy doing physical but not highly structured activities. I don’t know if kids get to build forts and collect snakes or just explore nature, but thats what got me through. I was remodeling a kitchen at that age but had a hard time even going to school. He may have to just grow through a few years and hope he doesn’t screw up his life. I sold pot in high school and fortunately never got caught. I will tell you what helped me but you have to understand I have zero professional experience in the matter, other than selling pot as a teenager. The secret to life at that point for me was smoking pot, it just had a magical effect of making me a little more socially adept and less spazzy for lack of a better term. Most of the pot out there will definitely make the motivational part worse, but I didn’t care at the time. Nowadays I guess if you are lucky enough to be in a state where it is legal they have strains of pot that are medicinal quality and have the traits that someone on adhd might appreciate. There is a strain called “Dutch Treat” that had a few people recommending it. Like me it sounds like his social maturity may be delayed and perhaps he doesn’t like big crowds, It sounds like he will be fine in a few years. My best to you and your son.
Hi Trish, he is 16 and you can’t really do much in this world until your mid 20s so don’t worry. I would say give him as many hugs as you can for as long as he needs them and he will be better adapted for it. In pioneer days he would probably be married with kids and you would be a senior citizen, enjoy this life. Peace.
And to matt, hope you see this. I finally got treatment at 60 and glad I did. I could have written your post we are that close in nature. You need to go armed with knowledge and to someone that knows what they are doing because in general they don’t want to write the prescription that has the best chance for you. Specifically your prescriber needs to know what the current percent of people in your age group diagnosed with adhd knew they have adhd before the doctor. For me it was something like 85%. It will definitely occur to your prescriber that you might be trying to get a prescription that you don’t need and will in fact be bad for you if you don’t. They made me try a couple anti depressants first and they were a disaster for me. Good luck.
Hi funky, I have a couple bits to offer and I hope something helps and I wish you the best. As for the family, try googling something like “why does family suck” and you will at least find you are not alone and a good many people do not like their family. I definitely agree with the others that you should get a proper diagnosis, the right medicine, and good counseling or coaching. If you have adhd you need it all. I have found it better not to disclose or talk about being adhd unless it is someone that really cares about you. Keep in mind that it is a mental disorder and many people can be quite hurtful about that. It is a tough process to get a prescription for the most effective meds because they are very abusable. Use your energy to learn all you can it is a long process but people often report “life changing” benefits from the meds. The counseling is a must because you need to learn how to do things in your new normal world. You are worth the trouble so go for it.
I have known a couple people that took clonodine and had awful effects, I have never tried it. Aderall has been life changing for me but has not helped with sensitivity yet. I have only taken it for 3 months so I haven’t given up. I am also taking therapy seriously but the one thing I have found for sure is that being with an insensitive or emotionally unavailable person is a disaster for me. I am answering as a male only because the symptoms that finally caused me to get treatment at age 60 were mental hyperactivity that for all I could see was anxiety, and sensitivity. I clearly had the typical “boy” symptoms at age six which enabled me to readily accept that I could have an ADHD symptom. I would have never known and certainly wouldn’t have gotten the medication in todays environment had I not had the “boy ” symptoms when I was a boy. My caution to you is that hyperactivity seems to display differently in women than it does in boys and you should look at that. There is a reason that ADD is no longer a valid diagnosis, and my belief is that because if you don’t have some form or level of hyperactivity you don’t have the disorder. I am not trying to be a jerk, I just see that far fewer women are diagnosed and I have never seen an explanation other than unrecognized symptoms. Best of luck. There is also a guest blog called the “ADHD symptom some women may be missing” on this site.January 18, 2018 at 2:02 am in reply to: Looking for advice about inattentive ADHD symptoms #73983
Hi jelly, I made it through your post. I have recently gone through the diagnosis and treatment process so maybe some of the things I learned will help you. The self test above is the place to start. You are obviously smart so try the test several times. The questions are so subjective my results were all over the place depending upon my mood when I took the test. A lot depends on how you look at the questions. An example would be if you have difficulty planning and completing complicated projects. I absolutely can do it but it is also difficult so how do you answer? The actual screening with a prescriber will decide if you get to try the medication, and there is a serious push to limit prescriptions because of abuse. Just so you know ADHD by definition has a hyperactivity component even if you are unaware of it or don’t recognize the symptoms. I had the classic “boy” symptoms at six years old but in my 50’s that hyperactivity displayed as what looked like anxiety. I did not start treatment until I was 60 years old. The questionnaire and severity of impact on your life is what gets you the initial prescription but it is your reaction to the meds that is used to actually confirm the diagnosis. The truth is that anyone can take amphetamines and have improved concentration within an hour. If you don’t have adhd for sure the improved concentration comes at the cost of becoming an amphetamine junkie and definitely not worth it. The real confirmation comes if hyperactivity and impulsiveness improve over a period of a month or so. You certainly wouldn’t expect children , or anyone, to become calmer with sustained use of amphetamines but that is what happens with ADHD. Unless you can figure out what your hyperactive and impulsive symptoms are you really don’t have much to diagnose an improvement and probably should not be diagnosed and given further medication. Is it possible that your learning in spite of the difficulties you describe is your hyperactivity? Yes, delayed circadian rhythms seem common with ADHD and you may have to treat that separately just like if you had ADHD and a broken arm. The drugs don’t work without the counseling and the counseling doesn’t work without the drugs. Amphetamines are 88% effective for people screened for ADHD and the non narcotic medication is maybe 40% effective . You also need to know that most adults know they have ADHD before their doctors know and it very much looks to most doctors like you are shopping for a prescription. I was also more or less forced to try anti depressants first and that was a disaster. I literally wouldn’t do anything that could possibly be put off. Now I have a long post. Best of luck.
Talking may be the trigger for you. Best of luck.
Also called emotional lability and there is a connection to adhd. I couldn’t figure out if it was as one person claimed a core symptom of adhd or as someone else said a side effect of adhd medicine. I searched Pseudobulbar affect and adhd. Hopefully that points you in the right direction. The good news is that the reviews for the medicine seemed 90% positive.
I saw a commercial on tv where they described symptoms of crying when not even sad. It almost seemed like a joke but if you were just sensitive I would think you would know. They were talking about crying when it made no sense or didn’t match your feelings. I am going to search for “crying for no reason” but best of luck if I don’t make it back here.