My Forum Comments
Also, his SLP noticed a social language deficit during his evaluation. That should be a clue.
So, I’m having an impossible time finding another psychiatrist in my area, let alone a “good” one specializing in ADHD, so tomorrow I’m going to call the same psychiatrist back with some new information and ask her to administer the Vanderbilt scales. There was some stuff I couldn’t think to tell her at the time, like social challenges in school and sports, and careless mistakes in schoolwork.
I just hope his teacher has the aquity to notice his issues in class, with 20 other kids probably doing the same thing. We have GOT to get this kid on meds, or else our whole family is going to crash and burn. Wish me luck!January 29, 2018 at 9:05 pm in reply to: Overwhelmed and Exhausted Single Mom of 5 yr old with ADHD #75299
You’ve already gotten plenty of great advice — hang in there, mama! I’ll just add that eliminating gluten and diary from my ADHD son’s diet has dramatically reduced his volatility, irritability, hyperactivity and ODD symptoms. It’s hard at first, but it gets easier and the results have been worth it. The effects of gluten take a few months to wear off, but dairy was out of my son’s system after a week, and by Day 8 he was like a different kid. Good luck!!!January 27, 2018 at 1:00 am in reply to: Has anyone tried genetic testing to determine which meds to try? #75155
Penny, I’ve forgotten to come back and thank you for your response. I’ve also found out from the psychiatrist (who downplayed everything I mentioned) that these tests highlight which meds might cause a reaction, not which would be most effective. The drugs that cause a reaction could very well be the ones that work for a particular person.
She also tried using scare tactics to talk me down from meds, saying the side effects can be really bad and include cardiac death. She already told me she wouldn’t give my son meds because she “doesn’t think he has ADHD,” so I don’t understand that tactic at all. So frustrating.
Crap. I was wrong about the scales. Even though he probably has the symptoms in school, he needs to “fail” at least one performance question, and I doubt he will. 🙁 I hate the fact that he can control himself when there are social pressures negates him from an ADHD DX that can get him help. We’re dying over here!
I forgot to mention that before he got the ADHD DX he had unspeficied Disruptive, Impulse-Control, and Conduct Disorder as his DX. Now he has both concurrently.
Well, I just checked out the Vanderbilt scales online, and I bet my son does a ton of that stuff in the classroom — fidgets in seat? Makes careless mistakes? Loses stuff? Forgetful? YES. I’m sure of it.
I just wonder if his teacher is observant enough to notice these little things when there are 20 kids in the classroom, and she doesn’t strike me as the most…astute person on earth. But when posed these specific questions, maybe she’ll be able to recall some of these behaviors. On the parent side, he does all of them. He was DXed combined type by the psychologist at the behavioral health agency.
I’m going to call back the psychiatrist we saw yesterday and see if she’ll administer the scales to me and the teacher. I didn’t care for her at all — she downplayed all of my legitimate concerns — but it could be the quickest way to get help. I took 2 hours out of my work day to make calls and couldn’t find a psychiatrist accepting new patients. But I’m not giving up.
I hope I can find a psychiatrist specializing in pediatric ADHD, but I’ll be lucky at this point to find ANY ped psych. I’m in a populated area, yet there are few psychiatrists who see children. Many agencies that list child psychiatry as a specialty don’t actually have a ped psych on staff. Frustrating to say the least. I’m going in circles!
Thank you, Penny, for the encouragement. I will keep going with this, because you’re right, we can’t keep living the way we are now. If he’s not struggling in school, I hate to raise a red flag for no reason, but at some point I may have no choice. He’s one of 20 students in class, and of course only the squeakiest wheels get grease. He definitely doesn’t stand out as a behavior problem in school, but I can see his neurological differences from a mile away.
Rob, you would know this: Does the teacher have to fill out the rating scales in order for the doc to give an ADHD diagnosis? She didn’t require it, just blew me off because I said he’s doing fine in school and had no complaints from the teacher. Who knows, maybe he’s doing worse than I thought and should have the teacher fill them out anyway. Any advice?
Hey, Rob. Thanks for the insights. You hit the nail on the head — he’s one of those kids who works really hard to hold it together at school, but falls apart at home. We’ve had no complaints from school, and when I asked the teacher about his behavior and attention she said he’s fine. She was really taken with how bright he is, and she recommended him for the gifted program, which apparently put him out of the running with the psychiatrist we saw yesterday. She claims ADHD kids aren’t gifted, but rather, the gifted kids present as ADHD because they’re bored. I beg to differ!
He does display ADHD symptoms outside the home — like yesterday when he walked into traffic unaware (he’s 8!!!) and during play dates with friends. But she didn’t give me enough time to elaborate on those, and only focused on how well he does at school. Our home life is a disaster. I get the focus on school, but what about the whole child? He has waking hours outside of school where his function is impeded.
I’m calling around trying to find another child psychiatrist today — it’s not easy. Thanks again for the reply.January 26, 2018 at 1:07 pm in reply to: Searching for subjects for upcoming ADDitude magazine story #75040
I know this is an old post, but I’d be happy to contribute if you haven’t run the story yet. Not only will my son’s ped not touch ADHD with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole, his psychiatrist won’t diagnose him either, despite already being diagnosed by another agency. It’s beyond frustrating at a time when meds are our last resort and we’re at the end of our proverbial rope.
I just did a google search. This is the pattern I followed:
It’s filled with plastic pellets I bought at Joann Fabrics. The pattern explains how to determine the weight of the blanket (it’s based on the weight of the child you’re making it for).
Are you in the U.S.? I thought FMLA is for extended period of absence, like a long-term illness or maternity leave. It’s to protect workers from losing their jobs. I think it’s worth googling to see what the law actually states.
Specifically does he mean for you to take an unpaid day off? Do you have sick days or vacation days you can use up first? I’ve had employers who want you to “make up the time” missed for doctor’s visits, etc., but it’s nicer when they can just let you take the hour or two, especially if you’re salaried and you’ve already proven yourself to be a good worker.
As for the ADA, I think it’s there to protect people with disabilities from discrimination, not to help employers figure out who on their payroll has disorders. Even if someone has a disability, though, that doesn’t mean they’re exempt from their employer’s policies. Good luck!
I’m sorry your husband’s ADHD has been kept from you. My guess is he was ashamed and afraid of rejection, but still.
I don’t have anything helpful to add, but wanted to say that I’ve had the thought recently that I hope my son doesn’t have kids someday (he’s only 8). My son and I are a lot alike, so I probably have ADHD too, but he’s much more difficult than I ever was as a child. He’s like me but on steroids. So I hate to think what future generations might be like, and what he might put his wife through. I gather it hasn’t been easy for my husband to be married to me.