My Forum Comments
I’ll have to try to keep that in mind. ThanksMay 26, 2018 at 11:50 am in reply to: If you're not your ADHD, who are you and how are you similar to neurotypicals? #84990
I used to think, “I’m more than my disabilities, I am more than my ADHD.”
But as was said above, ADHD is a part of me. It is neither a strength, nor a weakness. It just IS. It just makes me, and us here, different. Neither better nor worse off than neurotypicals. We just have to deal differently.March 4, 2018 at 11:04 pm in reply to: Any hyper girls out here? (Women with ADHD-combined) #77900
Definitely with ADHD combined. I could never sit still as a kid. In fact this was always more pronounced than the inattentiveness.
28 years old, and meltdowns happen specifically when I feel assailed by forces or people beyond my control. I’ve blanked out into a gibbering mess during a case presentation that didn’t go well. Mostly it’s just crying jags and repetitive thoughts about my worthlessness and why people are better off when I am away. The meds have mostly helped, but I still have a way to go with anticipating and managing stressors.February 1, 2018 at 5:01 am in reply to: looking back,what advice would you give your parents about treating you? #75493
28 years old, and only recently diagnosed.
I wish my parents had gotten me tested/diagnosed earlier, so they could have worked with my teachers (especially my Math teachers) to help me focus.
I wish they had told me maybe when I was about 9 or at least old enough to understand how my condition could affect my social interactions. That way I could have adjusted better.
I wish they did not use therapy as a ‘threat’ to get me to behave or calm down according to their wishes. This was why I did not seek help for so many years.
I wish they told me that I was not being a ‘bad’ girl, or that ‘I didn’t care enough about anything’, but instead helped me think of solutions to adjust.
Thanks. This helps a great deal. I really hope to keep that vision in mind as the years go by.
For starters, I’ve chosen to disclose my diagnosis to only a few trusted people. It’s a bit difficult to have to bite back my words when people get unkind with their words, but then again I don’t owe them any information about myself.
My partner is just the best when it comes to dealing with my ADHD. He knows when to keep me anchored and how to deal when emotions get too much for me.
I just worry about the impact my biological family has had on me. It took some concerned friends pointing out that what I was putting up with was just not normal, or at least constructive in terms of familial relationships.
I’ve got this bad habit of pretty much leaving trails of my personal belongings all over the place. Jackets, notebooks, and other miscellany are strewn on chairs and other furnishings in a haphazard line leading to my latest location.
I talk too fast and jumble words. While I’m a pretty good writer, I’m terrible at oral communication.
28 years old, only diagnosed last month.
I had to get counseling (mostly in school) and my well-meaning counselors chalked up most of my issues to stress coming from familial issues or adjusting with school. Not once did ADHD come up. I suppose my being a good student had me slipping between the cracks. Besides, my doctors were more concerned about treating my other health issues such as asthma and epilepsy, and everyone thought I’d just ‘grow out’ of my quirkiness, inattention, and hyperactivity. Only one of my college professors suspected I had ADHD, but she pointed out that I wasn’t as ‘impaired’ as the diagnostic criteria would suggest. Other friends questioned me up front if I had ADHD, but I always shrugged it off
Two things prompted me to finally seek some psychiatric help: going back to grad school, and getting into a serious relationship. Both were in danger of floundering, and I knew I had to take some steps to save them. Thankfully one of my friends in my parish is a psychiatrist, and she was the one who evaluated me. Turns out that yes, my professor and my friends were right.
I’m thankful that I’ve gotten my diagnosis finally clinched, and I can now take steps to manage this condition. I’m just sad and angry that it came rather late. If I’d gotten diagnosed and been helped when I was a child, I might have had less angst and trouble to go through. Maybe I wouldn’t have been labeled as ‘problematic’ all the way into adulthood.
I use a fidget cube. It has different available actions (pressing buttons, rolling balls, etc) that are really flexible. And it fits in a coat pocket.
Story of my life.
My parents suspected something was up even before I was in primary school, and some relatives suggested I get some help. But my parents were hesitant to get me tested, and said they ‘wanted the decision to be mine’. How could I have made an informed choice about my mental health if I was just a child, with little to no knowledge about ADHD, let alone any support systems for people living with it? I suppose part of the reason they didn’t think it urgent for me to get help was because I wasn’t ‘impaired’. I had good grades, I was not usually in trouble with authorities, and I could be kept in line. Never mind if I was evidently socially awkward, if people complained I was moving and talking too fast, and that my infamous mood swings were giving me a bad reputation as ‘high strung’ or just ‘a bitch’.
I guess my parents and other adults thought I’d grow out of it. Or that I needed Jesus. Or that I needed to socialize more. I’ve heard it all.
Fast forward some twenty-one years later. I realized that ‘impairment’ could be subjective. Sure I had a good conduct record but that didn’t detail how my inattentiveness did contribute to my not getting accepted into a residency program at a hospital I wanted desperately to work in. I had gotten into a challenging public health masteral program, and I was doing excellently, but that only came with a lot of effort to get myself under control. I finally was in a committed romantic relationship, but my impatience and hyper-emotional state caused conflict between me and my best friend on a fairly regular basis. And I realized that I could not carry these habits into my future, if I wanted to succeed both in my professional and family life. So I got help, and I got diagnosed.
And yes, I was distraught when I found out. I wondered about the two decades I’d struggled, and whether I’d be somewhere else if my ADHD had been addressed earlier. The fact that my parents were almost nonchalant about my diagnosis only infuriated me further.
It’s been two weeks. And I’m still working through this anger.December 18, 2017 at 9:02 am in reply to: What are your favorite traits that ADHD has given you? #70912
I’m highly creative, pretty much the one in my group of friends who can be relied on to finish tasks first (a plus since it gives me more time to help out the rest of the bunch), and I’m a natural speed reader. That last trait helped me pass medical school!
I’m a doctor. And I truly love and appreciate what nurses do. It really isn’t a vocation for everyone.
Not being able to fit in still bothers me, but this has only made me learn to value the few people who I can truly be myself around. Ironically this hardly includes anyone I’ve worked with in a clinical setting.