My Forum Comments
As with my personal struggle, you can only help someone who wants to be supported & is willing to receive that help from you. It can be challenging to watch someone you care about keep making the same mistakes, or experience negative consequences due to their ADHD. (esacare.com)/top-3-benefits-of-an-emotional-support-animal-on-adhd-by-14-renowned-experts/
If they are truly ready to adopt some systems & strategies for managing their symptoms, the place to start is to learn at least the basics about ADHD. There are excellent books & several podcasts devoted to adults with ADHD. Both you & your loved one could read and listen to them & talk about what you learned.
The next step is to have a heart to heart about when & where they would like your help. Be aware of the potential for creating co-dependent dynamics where you are taking responsibility for managing his ADHD.
The ideal outcome is that you feel good about your level of involvement & your ADHD friend feels empowered.
The most crucial thing in any relationship is trust and respect.
We’re people, just like neurotypicals are. Sure some things are going to be more difficult, but we’re perfectly capable of it.
I mean, both my parents are ADHD and have been married for over 15 years. Just because our brains work a little differently doesn’t mean we can’t have relationships like anyone else.
Now that you have a diagnosis, a lot of dots should start connecting themselves. If they haven’t yet, they will. Your daughter will have to learn how to make friends and get along with social interactions. What you can do is listen and give her real positive reinforcement. Don’t just praise her if you think she’s not trying her best, but when she is trying, say things like, I know this is hard for you, and I’m proud that you’re giving it your best shot.
When she does have a Victory celebrated, you don’t have to go overboard but do something nice like bake her some cookies or anything she likes, and you’re probably already doing all of this.
If there’s a support group, try and get her involved. Read and learn as much as you can. Talk to other parents who have the same problems. The best thing my parents ever did for me was to give me a roof over my head, loved me with all their heart, taught me discipline, and helped me out when I did something boneheaded. The same thing that all parents do or should do. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was an adult. We wish her well. Tell her it gets better!