My Forum Comments
February 19, 2020 at 9:58 am in reply to: Looking for a person or support group with a situation similar to mine #142295
Nothing works we are all doomed to fail…I’m kidding of course.
First off I am so stubborn. “Don’t tell me what to do” even if it’s me telling me to do something” So when I rebel it’s usually to myself I let it play out and then tell that child to sit down nicely and pay attention
The next thing is I am a music composer I can start to see the end results like writing a piece of music I know how I want it to sound I have a reference at hand and I start with the smallest steps and keep them that way.
I used to write pieces all the way through and play them the same way. The pieces came out ok but I decided Ok was not good enough anymore.
Treat yourself with kitten gloves but know that whatever your negative self-talk is saying and believe me when you start listening it’s loud and clear. You will know nothing is true.
Find your passion be the best at it and live, everything else will follow. Keep track of your steps and when you go off a little gently fall back into line. Stay in your own lane and stay true to your purpose at hand. Remember small steps is extremely important. “To thy own self be true”
Woohoo, only kidding with the woohoo part.
Thanks for your response.
I won my case and there was an occupational therapist there also but he said there were no jobs for me. If you want to refile I’ll give you some tips. Sounds like your a serious contender.
This would be my question. What level and consistency of support is the child getting. The meds don’t teach anything they help the child remain calmer as an ADULT teaches the child the proper behavior and reactions to certain things.
Just a heads up with some unsolicited advice.
Definitely, as Penny said you need a new practitioner but more so Have someone explain why the meds are necessary. It takes some super good parenting to raise kids with ADHD the meds will help slow them down hopefully enough so they can be taught the correct responses to things. The parent and teachers have the responsibility to teach those responses.
I wouldn’t hold your breath on the teacher if its a public school but you as a parent need to really understand the ADHD mind and not just stick the kids on medication just because they are calmer. You must take advantage of their calmness and explain why they have to turn in their homework or stop falling asleep or disrupt the class.
Those kids of yours are a ball of energy that simply needs to be redirected to something they really enjoy engaging in.
Lots of patience,they can be off the meds in a couple of years in some cases.
November 11, 2019 at 9:11 am in reply to: Difficulty in waking up, managing career, managing ADD and emotional problems #134041
First of all congrats on only being 23 with so much inspiration to become something wonderful in your life.
ADD/ADHD is a learning disability and one of the things it’s notorious for that stops you from seeing consequences due to your actions.As you mentioned with trouble in school and drugs. After a while, this will definitely cause depression which sounds like the Major problem.
Counseling will take care of the ADD. Drugs? help a lot. Ritalin is usually available in most countries? You can’t find any anti-depressants either?
Well your strongest asset is probably your desire to do well.Diet is super important for ADDr’s as exercise etc
I havent tried doing this deal without Doctors and meds I can only imagine how difficult it must be..
Best to you
I am no export either but without formal training on how to deal with the hyperactivity of our brain dealing with such a mind, it becomes a deficit more than an asset. This is because if we are not interested in what’s being presented to us we will tune out much and find ways to entertain ourselves. Often that turns into disruption and interferes with our own productivity.
Once we learn what ADHD is, which is simply a learning disability due to an overactive mind and focus on taking that energy with a tad of discipline especially in the beginning, we can turn this whole deal into an asset.
My 2 cents worth…
That’s so cool that you are embracing your ADHD the way you are.
Unfortunately, Ritalin doesn’t get rid of the ADHD, it simply helps you calm down so you can treat the symptoms of ADHD. Most ADHD can be considered a learning disability,our cognition is out the window. You may even find out depression and anxiety will need to be treated with a different medication. CBT is the best for dealing with ADHD in my opinion, if you can afford a good counselor or coach that specializes in ADHD. Most of my problem at any one time is the shame I feel after a lifetime of mishaps,
Don’t get me wrong I love my amphetamines it helps calm down the racing mind which in turn helps me focus better.I am also on bi-polar meds which also helps slow the mind down so I can focus and sleep better. Impulsive behavior is a learned behavior. While your mind is slowed down you can learn what got you impulsive in the first place.
Anyway, I don’t want to rain on your parade, life gets a lot better after embracing the ADHD diagnosis. I just want to plant some seeds as it may save you time, as you treat these ADHD symptoms.
I used to think, People could read my mind. They would know how bad I felt like just by looking at me.
Come to find out I would act out then people would really know what kind of problems i have.
I decided one day to keep my mouth shut. With my type of personality, I had a hard time not filling in empty spaces, mostly conversation but I decided one day instead of filling in the space I am going to keep quiet. No one would know what I am thinking if I just kept my mouth shut where most people would find it appropriate to do so.
What I found out was how to listen, keep quiet and observe. There was nothing I can do about my past but forgive myself but I am committed to silence when I know I am bored and have nothing to contribute.
If we just start putting one foot in front of the other today, do the next right thing(If you don’t know what that is, ask) we can start completing things one thing at a time. No one needs to know about our past.
This whole pep talk is gonna make people uncomfortable cause you know I am right. But what would you do with yourself if you decided to give up the drama of our ADHD life and try to just not stand out so much
I read through many of these responses including my earlier one just think we need to learn to forgive ourself and move on to our next dilemma.
I share the throne of King of self-sabotage. I need to tell a different story now, I think I am bored of that one.
September 23, 2019 at 11:50 am in reply to: My Son has no interest in trying at school and is so far behind #128599
Does he know your at the wiks end? What I mean does he know he’s frustrating you. Or are you calmly correcting him as you go. I wish I would of had a dad that could of done something other than telling me how much i’m screwing up.
The fact you put him through diving school is a plus, if you play your cards right you will be able to use this to entice his learning. Coming from you won’t work probably but if you give a heads up to the instructor on your challenges he/she can make it seem like getting an education is very important to someone that wants to get into marine life.
The frustrating part for him will be if math is necessary he’s got a lot of catching up to do. His best realization of consequences to his actions (his cognitive know-how) only works if they have an interest in what and why.
Is he on meds? What kind of counseling?
There’s alot you can still do,he’s at home under your thumb.
I have a thought.
How about thinking more of others than yourself, then you won’t have to worry or not if you are being mindful because you won’t be nitpicking at everything you do 24 /7.
We are just not that important. We have a learning disability when coming to ADHD and simply or not we have to relearn some thoughts so actions will differ than results will be better.
Medication helps get us through the day but we can’t just stay on amphetamines all-day, we have to do some real work like not focusing on ourselves all the time. Do things we don’t feel like doing etc.
This all sounds good on paper anyway.
Let me know your thoughts
I have been diagnosed almost 10 years now with ADHD and a shorter amount with Bi-polar. This is the 2nd time first time with ADHD was when I was 6 this time I was 50.
I like this topic
I like getting analytical because that’s how I figure things out. Some call it pysco-bable but, I think it’s only that when no action is suggested or taken on the topic.
For me, self-sabotage is comfort food. I am in the middle of a project I naturally get bored cause I am ADHD and it’s easier to just say “eh, I have had enough of this” instead of working through the challenge and ending up with the results we were seeking. It’s hard cause there are no guarantees that we will succeed and we are already comfortable in failing or not completing projects( Same Thing)
My challenge is I hate being told what to do, even if it’s me saying it.I work time through it a lot but sometimes it gets the better of me.
When starting new projects I try to write down what I want the end result to be and then work from there if I can. One step at a .time.
I write music so I will start with a mood first then chords and melody that fit that mood.
WHAT NEVER WORKS
Just sitting down with no thought and completing a piece of music. It may start out like that but if I don’t stop and think about what I am doing I end up with zero results every time. Mr. Stubborn at it again.
I have been a musician and now a music composer my whole life. I have had a day job for maybe 6 years in a hospital psychiatric ward and lived with untreated ADHD up to about 8 years ago. I am 60 and I don’t wish to screw around with this learning curve. I hope what I will share with you, you will try. Takes about 90 days for this technique to stick.
First off Don’t wait to be inspired. Being an artist means you search for inspiration in looking at other peoples work or developing an idea of your own.
Getting stuff done is hard, especially if you are self-employed and need to do work for yourself you usually put off, like paying bills. There always seems to be another task to do: a drawer could be organized, a phone call to your sister or checking flight prices on a trip you have no intention of taking.
Enter: the Pomodoro Technique.
This popular time-management method can help you power through distractions, hyper-focus and work in short bursts, while taking frequent breaks to come up for air and relax. Best of all, it’s easy. If you have a busy job where you’re expected to produce, it’s a great way to work through your tasks. Let’s break it down and see how you can apply it to your work.
- Write down the night before what you need to do the following day.
- Purchase an egg timer. 3 bucks at the grocery store.
- Set it for 25 min. after it goes off stop for 5 minutes breathe walk around
- go back set the egg timer again for 25 minutes and do it again. .
- wash rinse repeat
Don’t go onto another project till you finish the one you started. I know it’s tough. Give yourself the 90 days then another if u need too.
If you are a professional or want to do this for a living you must treat this like your going to work. No email or Facebook right after you awake. Set up a half-hour perhaps during your lunch hour to catch up with social media stuff if possible.
If you don’t think you can cut out social media alone there are plenty of programs that will help you stay offline once you set that up.
Remember to sleep well and eat right for your brain. And for heaven’s sake quit being so hard on yourself,it’s not your fault you have this ADHD stuff. It’s a learning disability so learn.
- This reply was modified 11 months, 3 weeks ago by ivry321.
Embrace your ADHD. Once you do it will be all downhill I promise. You have this amazing creative mind that thinks outside the box. So try to stay inside the box a little when you’re in school so your class doesn’t get disrupted due to boredom by you.
A lot of bad stuff happened to me at that age including getting molested thrown out of school, camp eventually home. I knew something wasn’t right but it wasn’t the ADHD. It was the lack of knowledge on how to embrace it and make it work for me.
Ok I just re-read your blog. The difference between you and your friends that have ADHD and the reason they are doing fine is that they have support from their counselor family etc.
You need support, gimme your number ill call you every day and tell you how great you are. I wish I had this kind of foresight at your age, instead, I was going through what you are going through but thought I was the bad person.
ADHD is a learning disability which means you can be taught to live with it. Tough on your own kiddo, sorry about that. It’s not your dads’ fault he is accountable however he should get a clue.
Try taking up drums or another musical instrument. What do you dream of becoming? think of that and how much value you will add to the world. Meds help me a lot but I still have to make myself sit still and pay attention. Ask questions don’t worry about what everyone else is thinking, it’s not all about you. Add value to your classes by participating and understanding that things are difficult for you but it’s not just because of the ADHD it’s lack of support
I promise you I am 60 now But I feel your pain. Hang in there find the gems within your personality stop focusing on what sux, which I know is a lot. Surround yourself with support and F— anyone else that doesn’t give it to you. They don’t know what they do.
August 19, 2019 at 9:13 am in reply to: Recently diagnosed as inattentive ADHD and looking for advice #125437
Lack of self-confidence, fear of failure and all else you mentioned with fears attached, have nothing to do with being ADHD other then you learned to be that way because of the constant 2nd guessing of oneself. What this can cause is depression. Lack of focus because of our chattery mind is ADHD related and meds help alot.
ADHD coaching help with a lack of confidence and fear. So between the meds and coaching, we can learn to separate what from what.
We lack executive functions and make adult decisions everyday which kinda makes us look weird, that’s why we 2nd guess ourself also. So learn about executive functions and you will be good to go. Go to a few months of coaching and regain your confidence by understanding what’s up.
Man I wish I was 30yrs old again knowing what I know now.