h22k22-female

My Forum Comments

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 31 total)
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  • in reply to: I’ve told lies. #100584
    h22k22-female
    Participant

    You came clean?
    Sounds like you’ve mastered it more than you realise. There’s a group of people out there who think I had a son in the late 90’s.
    I hid from the truth and you faced it. You stayed around to deal with the consequences and for that you are stronger than me.
    You are stronger than most.
    We should be asking you how to do it!
    Good luck x

    in reply to: I’ve told lies. #100360
    h22k22-female
    Participant

    Well don’t be sad for me because that’s patronising!
    I didnt want to be found out for telling a lie. I certainly don’t want friends understanding or sympathy, I’m not a victim!

    I just need to stay controlled as much as I can, don’t talk too much in unfamiliar surroundings or with new people. My lies these days are labelled white lies I think. Not the end of the world.

    I am insanely independent so I guess that’s why I don’t reach out much.

    in reply to: I’ve told lies. #100216
    h22k22-female
    Participant

    Haha! Good tip thank you.
    It’s definately got less with age, or more controlled maybe.
    It’s awful when ive lied and a little scary at what I’m capable of.

    But even yesterday as I rushed 5 mins late to collect from school I told them I had a flat tyre. In reality I was on foot.
    It just rolled off my tongue and wouldn’t stop!

    in reply to: I’ve told lies. #100215
    h22k22-female
    Participant

    Ahh this sucks!
    College is great because all of the lies I told at college I left behind. I don’t keep contact with anyone from college now because they would know I didn’t have a son.
    Yes! I told them one day my kid was sick so I couldn’t attend lectures and used this lie to get me a free resit.
    I’m going to burn in hell!

    It does stop a bit with time. You can’t solve everything now, just be well and look after yourself. You don’t need everything to be in order right now, you just need to get through today with half a smile.

    I’m not sure if I read right, your Mother hits you with a belt and you are 19 years old? If that’s true- Your Mum is wrong. That’s abuse, it’s illegal, controlling and she is a very bad Mother. In fact I hate her for doing that to you.

    Thinking of you today and that’s no lie!

    in reply to: I’ve told lies. #100214
    h22k22-female
    Participant

    I’ve literally closed the curtains and hid!
    That’s when I’m not emotional, I just don’t want to go somewhere. So go easy on yourself!
    Rather than man up and say thanks for the invite but no.
    I agree to go then regret it and lie my way into an excuse.
    I’ve had flat tyres, hospital visits, dead relatives.. I’m awful!

    in reply to: I’ve told lies. #100213
    h22k22-female
    Participant

    But I’ve never liked doing it.
    I lie sometimes when people tell me of a misfortune, I try to ‘sympathise’ in some connected way so they like me.
    But I have no idea how they are feeling. For that split moment I want them to believe my Aunty Flo died last year too.

    in reply to: I talk to myself #99930
    h22k22-female
    Participant

    I do this and my 3year old asks who I’m talking too 🤦🏽‍♀️

    in reply to: Need advise for house cleaning/organization #99959
    h22k22-female
    Participant

    Invite people over every Sunday.

    This is the cruelest act I can inflict on my partner and me but, desperate times!

    As the time nears I enter Sargent Major mode and shout orders plus March round myself. I’m always surprised at how little time it eventually takes and love the result.

    Not great for my relationship, but every now and again is ok.

    in reply to: Feeling like im in neutral #99957
    h22k22-female
    Participant

    Maybe you haven’t found an interest?
    When there’s something I’m into I get strength and motivation in abundance. I can work tirelessly and to perfection if it floats my boat.

    Make me do something I’m not into and well, I just don’t or I coast.

    in reply to: Is this ADHD ??? #99956
    h22k22-female
    Participant

    Maybe take one of the ADHD quizzes?
    I did it and it really helped. Print this list out and take it to your GP too.

    I found I coped by default by myself but after having a family I struggled to be all the things a woman ‘should’ be. This brought me here too.

    Good luck

    in reply to: Struggles working 5 consecutive days #99929
    h22k22-female
    Participant

    A change is as good as a rest.
    Can you change your tasks on a Wednesday?

    My job involves sales and I incorporate finance Thursday where I stay off the phones and away from clients (and rejection!) my colleagues never bother me on a Thursday.

    Be honest, can you work at home too? I found home help a necessity not a luxury. We went without a holiday this year to keep our cleaning outsourced.

    Good luck

    in reply to: Driving…. 12 points on my license #99926
    h22k22-female
    Participant

    Thank you, I will!
    I’m interested in the impact meds are having on you. Is life easier? What else have you noticed?

    in reply to: A friend upset me… destroyed me for the week. #99804
    h22k22-female
    Participant

    I am totally overwhelmed by the replies to my post.
    Thank you all, sincerely. There’s so many hints and tips I’ve already made an action list and hopefully I can hyperfocus till it’s exhausted! Go me!

    I’ve learnt a lot just from one post.

    I’m not awful
    I’m not evil
    I’m not spiteful.
    I am kind hearted
    I am sensitive
    I am caring

    I just occasionally say the wrong thing.
    Get over it!

    in reply to: ADD and denial? #99128
    h22k22-female
    Participant

    It seems like you’ve been let down by the professionals early on, this may have caused your spouse to lose confidence.
    Anyway, my partner is undiagnosed but obviously ADHD. My journey in educating him and eventually getting him (and our family) diagnosed, helped and treated began 3 weeks ago.
    It’s going slowly but I’d say in the right direction.
    I bought a book called “so I’m not lazy, crazy or mad” and I gave it to him. I said something simple like- “look babe, this book is about you! I’ve read it and I’m sorry I keep shouting at you for not putting the trash out” then I gave him a hug and left it on the table.
    Then I bought a book, “smartest boy in the math class” when he put our son to bed on the weekend I produced it and it was the bedtime story.
    Now, I say things like -“babe, you’ve zoned out on me again!” And I laugh.
    Our life has become easier because I understand.

    I gave him a storage box with a lid for his cycling clothes and he didn’t say anything but I know he’s happy now it’s organised. At least he won’t accuse me of hiding it anymore.

    I find articles online describing his struggle, screen shot them and email to him. I’m doing all the work, our trash is still stock piled and attracting rats but I’ve taken action.

    I cannot change him but I can change myself. He hates me a little less now I’m more understanding.

    in reply to: A friend upset me… destroyed me for the week. #99127
    h22k22-female
    Participant

    I’ve convinced myself I am.
    I’ve booked an appointment to take my 4 pages of symptoms and self diagnosis to the Dr but I keep cancelling.
    I’m scared he won’t agree and then I won’t know what’s going on in my head anymore. I need it to be this or I’m lost again.
    My world is so chaotic.

    I envy you, you are where I want to be.

Viewing 15 posts - 16 through 30 (of 31 total)