My Forum Comments
Since I was diagnosed with ADHD over three years ago, I have come to see how my mental condition is actually a very positive thing in my life. Since I’m now age 71 and retired, I don’t have to worry as much about how people at work react to my ADHD symptoms now. I’m divorced and live alone, so I don’t have the partner issues any longer. And since everyone’s ADHD is a little different, I simply try my best to cope with my condition in public, at church or with the volunteers I work with in my community. Most of my family and friends know of my condition and what the symptoms are (thank you Facebook!), so there is somewhat of a general understanding among them.
An example of how ADHD has probably been a positive thing in my life, I find that I can hyperfocus on a project to my advantage and then pop out mentally when needed much easier than others.
I also wanted to add that I am grateful for all the great articles I have read over the past three years from doctors and other professionals about the ADHD condition in the ADDitude community. Keep up the good work, guys & gals!
All my life, my parents, my wife and friends have criticized me because of my ADHD symptoms. The fact is that I was only diagnosed 3 years ago! Before then, everyone thought that I could improve my performance at school, work or at home by just “trying harder”. Now they know that it doesn’t work that way!
y advise is to educate those around you about the symptoms of ADD/ADHD, so that they won’t try and correct you all the time. Along with that, it sounds like your friends and family need to show a little more compassion, given your issues with ADD.
wish you all the best.
First of all…..NEVER give up, Butterfly!
I was diagnosed with ADHD only three short years ago at the age of 68! You’re the same age as my oldest daughter. Since being diagnosed, I have been able to make some very positive changes in my life. Fortunately, I am in excellent health, so that alone is a great plus. One thing I became aware of following my diagnosis, was that my brain is able to express things very quickly and clearly. My biggest hobby is music. I can’t imagine living without it! I’m always listening to my huge Spotify playlist library and album collections at home along with the vast music playlists on YouTube.
Everyone seems to react to their ADHD condition differently. I was able to move away from a very confining place to a wonderful small city for retirement about three years ago. I’ve never looked back since. My whole outlook on life has changed. I know you’re at least 20 years or so away from retirement, but my best suggestion for overcoming depression is to go out and volunteer each week for at least 2-3 hours. There are so many great non-profit organizations that can use your talents and skills. Give it a try…..you’ll love it!
I wish you good fortune in reinventing who you are, despite your ADHD.
I too have experienced much of loneliness most of my life. Beginning in elementary school all the way through high school, mostly due to my ADHD condition and because I was an introvert, preferring not to mingle with the “in crowd”. I was only officially diagnosed with ADHD three years ago. I am now age 71, retired, divorced and living alone in the beautiful city of Prescott, AZ.
After I moved to my retirement spot, I decided to become much more outgoing. I keep very busy by volunteering with three community non-profit organizations: The Red Cross, The Senior Peer Group of Prescott & The Suicide Prevention Foundation. In addition, I am very active in my church and hold several callings there, including Family History service missionary. I also enjoy golfing, swimming and hiking. I travel whenever I can. Oh yes, and I also work part time for Aires Caregiving as a Professional Disability Services Assistant in a group home near my apartment.
So you see, I don’t have a chance to feel lonely. Surrounding myself with other people and serving constantly is my way of being happy and fulfilled as an individual.
Best of luck and may God bless!
Gary H Horton
I was diagnosed with ADHD only about 3 yrs ago. Once I discovered what I had, I was able to secure the counseling and medication that I needed to help control it. In January of 2016, I moved about 250 miles north of where I had been living for 10 years. Same state, but different everything else. Moving from a large metro area to a small city for retirement posed a few problems:
1. My medicare supplement plan changed.
2. My new doctor’s office would NOT prescribe any behavioral medications.
3. I couldn’t find a psychologist or psychiatrist in my new area who specialized in ADHD treatment.
Earlier this year, I finally found a local clinic that would take my medicare plan and had a psychiatrist (skyping from Virginia) that could prescribe my ADHD medication (amphetomine salts).
So as of now, I’m able to obtain the counseling and meds that I need to help control my ADHD symptoms. I think the answer to feeling better with ADD/ADHD is simply to NOT GIVE UP and have faith that you will find the help you’re looking for.
Best of luck!
Dear Young Parent:
You are so fortunate to be raising your child in this wonderfully enlightened age of ADHD awareness and behavior assistance!
I am now age 70 and only found out two years ago through neuropsychiatric testing that in fact I’ve had ADHD all my life! Beginning in first grade, I’ve had a terrible experience with quizzes, tests & exams. My parents always assumed that I had a very lazy mind and just didn’t try hard enough to get above a C average in most of my classes, so after I almost flunked 8th grade, my very intelligent lawyer father placed me in a private boys prep school. I was initially tested by the school’s headmaster, where I was forced to repeat the 8th grade. From then until I graduated from high school, in the same boys school, I was forced to study up to four hours per day after school until I understood all the class material, reading & re-reading the text books with my father testing me each night. I was so mentally exhausted by the time I went to bed, it was hard to fall asleep some nights. I’d rather forget about all those agonizing years. I finally graduated with a C+ average and was admitted to Brigham Young University in Provo, UT, where I finally was free from my father’s heavy authoritarian hand (he died an alcoholic six months before I finished high school). The best years of my single life were at that incredible university.
All through my working life I was always so distracted by everything going on around me that I found it incredibly difficult to focus on the task at hand. My dear wife had a very hard time understanding my affliction as well and again thought I was just being lazy and uncaring. After I was diagnosed, she still thought I was only “pretending”. She had already divorced me after almost 40 years of marriage, partly due to my ADHD problems.
Since I moved away from her and began a new life here in beautiful Prescott, AZ almost two years ago, I have found great peace of mind in volunteering in my church and with three awesome non-profit organizations.
My best advise to you, as a parent, is to NEVER ever give up on your child. Always treat her with great love and respect. Remember, ADHD is a condition of the mind that we really know so little about. Show her that you truly love her and want to understand what’s going on inside your child’s mind and heart. I can tell you from sad experience that the usual study, retain & test patterns DO NOT WORK for someone that has this condition. There are other ways to convey and retain knowledge that the ADHD experts can assist you and your child with. In addition, believe it or not, in many ways ADHD can be a great gift for your child. There are certain career fields where ADHD children excel far above others.
Finally, I would highly recommend that you follow along with the wonderful advise and counsel that you and your child can receive from the ADDitude newsletters and become an active networking participant. And remember that your child may turn out to be one of the 90% of adults who no longer suffer from the effects of ADHD after age 18.
I wish you and your precious “special” child all the best.
I’m replying to donsense’s last two comments addressed to me on Aug 10th.
Since I have only known about my ADHD since Nov 2015, I really can’t tell if I’m getting better, getting worse or staying about the same. My problem as far as joining an open ADHD support group is that I live in Prescott, AZ where the total population in the area is under 100,000. So, assuming that only about 9% of adults over age 18 still have the condition, that’s a potential group of around 6,300 (assuming 70% are over age 18).
As I mentioned, my PCP physician is currently researching the behavioral heath doctors in our area for one or more that have experience with ADHD patients. I’ll report back in this forum about the final results of my first month of treatments. Possibly, the doctor I finally see will know of an open support group I can join. That would be GREAT!
I have also been taking Venlafaxine daily (75 mgs capsules) for the last three years and it has kept me calm and anxiety free. I’ve had very few emotional outbursts, or melt downs, since that medication has gotten into my system. I also take Lexapro (10 mgs) daily to ward off depression. I’ve had four major clinical depression episodes over the past 30 years, each of them lasting over three years. I truly believe that my ADHD condition has been the catalyst which started my depressive episodes. So, I’m very excited about meeting with an ADHD Psychiatrist in the near future and possibly obtaining a new medication. My PCP in Tucson, where I lived before moving to Prescott 20 months ago, prescribed Amphetamine Salts, which my doctor’s office here will no longer prescribe.
Good to hear from you and to know that there are others in the Adult ADHD world who may have had similar life experiences. Let’s keep the dialog going, this is good!