dianne1

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  • in reply to: Reading Frustrations #122485
    dianne1
    Participant

    Love, love, love graphic novels and magazines. It has gotten my 8 year old into reading.

    We also read the book and then see the movie. We than had something to talk about after the book is read, (what did you like, didn’t like, who was your favorite character) and than the same for after the movie, adding comparisons. We are starting with his little sister (5 years old)but I put sight words on a paper and ask her to circle the ones she here’s in the story.

    Another strategy, I read a page then he reads a page. When he starts to get tired, I just picked up reading. I would also ask him and now his little sister to draw a favorite scene from the book.

    in reply to: STRUGGLING WITH ADULT ADHD DAUGHTER #100006
    dianne1
    Participant

    I hear your frustration!
    Have you looked into a mental health group home or transitional apartment living?
    This may be an option for you, and her, as a stepping stone to her own place.

    in reply to: Letting Go of Dream #99431
    dianne1
    Participant

    Yes, it can be challenging to parent a child with special needs, but the flip side, it is a HUGE PROUD MOMMA MOMENT when you can say your son is successful without the making it through high school or college. He is one of those successful people like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Ellen DeGeneres, or Brad Pitt. CONGRATULATIONS to him for making it using skills that are outside the box. Celebrate his achievements. What you are experiencing is the emotional grieving process of those parents with special needs children. You had dreams of your child before he was born and disability shatters those dreams. Infinite loss, or the loss of a dream, is much different to deal with then a nonfinite loss (a death). With infinite loss, your grief is for a loss dream. It may be time to start making new dreams, one that includes the success of your son and what the future holds for him and his and your families.

    dianne1
    Participant

    My grandson is also showing signs of aggression over the last few months. I have found that:
    1. When kids feels out of control, they act out and look for someone to provide the consistency and boundaries he needs. He is also struggling with three different homes, mine, my daughter’s and his dad’s.
    2. By setting clear rules, he or she will understand what is expect of them and if they push the rules, they need quick reminders of what the rules are.
    3. Give him choice so he can feel he has some control over his life. Maybe a better approach would be, “would you like your snack first or a shower?”
    4. Counseling is a good idea since there is inconsistency in parenting. Through therapy he can work on his feelings and understand why he is so explosive.
    5. School is just getting back in session so maybe now would be a good time to talk to his teacher to see if there is any concerns at school.
    6. Jumping to the conclusion he is ODD and medication would not be my first choice. Looking at the medication he is on and possibly adjusting or finding another stimulate may be a better choice right now. Don’t do too much changing until you know exactly what is going on.
    7. Have some fun with him. Laugh and be playful.

    in reply to: STRUGGLING WITH ADULT ADHD DAUGHTER #89162
    dianne1
    Participant

    So many of families feel the same way you do. Remember to keep boundaries with her that feel right for you and stick to them. Look for other ways to find pleasure in your life and do them. Take care of yourself. She is an adult and is making adult decisions. The one thing I would express to her is the need to be on a reliable birth control, one that fits her lifestyle. She shouldn’t get pregnant while drinking so heavily.

    • This reply was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by dianne1.
    in reply to: 13 yo boy ADD/impulsivity I need help #76865
    dianne1
    Participant

    Translation from French to English can be tough, so don’t get hung up on the words you are using right now. Just remember, to be respectful when describing your child, always say person first.

    I also have adopted 6 children with ADHD. Adoption brings a lot of baggage with it. Everyone, including your child, hears all the wonderful stories about “not growing in your tummy but in your heart”. And that is all and good, but every adoption story has a dark side. At age 13, he may be going through some developmental good searches in his mind for his birth family and looking at how he fits into your family. An adoption therapist may help with those issues.

    What information did you get from the adoption agency? Was there sexual abuse or severe abuse? These can all play into a child who is feeling out of control. Many times children come through adoption for abuse and neglect, but the underlining causes can very well be drugs and alcohol. All six of the children we adopted have diagnosis of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders (FASD). Of the three birth families we are dealing with, two of our birth moms also had diagnosis of FASD and one is suspected.

    http://www.nofas-uk.org/ National Organization for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome-UK

    France does not have a National Organization for FASD, but England does. Check out their website and see if your son fits the profile. ADHD is one of the co-occurring diagnosis and meds aren’t always helpful. Advocate for a correct diagnosis. Once you learn about how to parent someone with FASD, it will make things easier for everyone.

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