Devon Frye

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  • in reply to: IEP meeting for high school #41334

    Devon Frye
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user Dr. Eric in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    Basically, the IEP is charged with addressing the barriers to educational access.

    If the issue is study skills, time management, etc…then, that should be where the goals and services should focus.

    Even though it may be enraging to her someone being dismissive of common ADHD issues, or use them as a reason to absolve themselves from their responsibility/job…“He has the ability. He just doesn’t apply himself…” (We have all heard every iteration of these.) The response should still be the same, “If that is the case, what is the plan to help him overcome it?”

  • in reply to: Guilt for treating my ADHD with medication #42537

    Devon Frye
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user gothceltgirl in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    Don’t worry about the objections. When they see how much more productive you are they’ll change their tune. I sure wish I had meds again.

  • in reply to: Guilt for treating my ADHD with medication #42533

    Devon Frye
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user Mitzi McPike in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    Colby,

    Congratulations on making the decision to take medication.

    One rule of thumb is if the medication improves your symptoms and you feel better you are on the right track.

    When I was diagnosed 5 years ago, my PCP prescribed Ritalin and within the first 15 minutes of taking it, I felt better. I felt a sense of inner calmness that I had never felt before. Finally I understood why I lived my life like a Bugs Bunny cartoon character (Tazmanian Devil).

    I finally understood that I was powerless over the way my brain worked. It was stuck in overdrive and I just raced through my life. The right medication allowed me to feel more grounded and centered in my body which reflected in me feeling more empowered in my life.

    Only you can decide what is right for you. You do deserve to feel a sense of “normalcy” and the right medication could do that for you.

    Good luck with your Adderall. Just remember you may need to raise the dosage to get the therapeutic results you need. I had to raise my Ritalin after a few weeks.

    And if you feel after a period of time that it isn’t giving you true relief from symptoms, please be open to trying something else.

    You and I both know how exhausting it is to try to be “normal” with ADHD.

    The right medication is a great helping hand to live your life the way you want to.

    P.S. Both Adderall and Ritalin are stimulants. If you are racing on the inside either will most likely calm you down. I never had to worry about becoming “addicted” — I took my daily doses and lived my life. People don’t understand that stimulants have the opposite effect on someone with ADHD.

    Good luck! 🌺
    Mitzi

  • in reply to: Guilt for treating my ADHD with medication #42521

    Devon Frye
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user adhdmomma in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    You may or may not lose weight. You have to try it to see if that will be an issue. And you are more likely to self-medicate and get addicted in that way than to become addicted to ADHD medication.

    http://www.additude.com/adhd-web/article/11070.html

    Penny
    ADDconnect Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • in reply to: Should I Homeschool My Child? #40365

    Devon Frye
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user Natalie K. in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    Best of everything to you in finding the right niche for your son. Homeschooling is a lot of work, but anything worthwhile is a lot of work. Give it a try. We homeschool and yes, it is not easy, but for us it is so rewarding. We reevaluate each year to make sure it still fits our goals.

  • in reply to: Should I Homeschool My Child? #40362

    Devon Frye
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user vpowell in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    Thanks everyone who responded. My child is treated for his ADHD with meds and therapy. If I do homeschool him, I wasn’t planning on doing it to 12th grade, as I see being in public schools as a good way for my child to learn to get along with other people (he is an only child). I have talked to the school several times, but I feel as if they are not listening to me as nothing ever changes.

  • in reply to: Guilt for treating my ADHD with medication #42513

    Devon Frye
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user miko+ink in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    Hi ColbyS,

    You have decided to go forward with the medication, nice. Here are some tips that worked for me. Go slow, keep a journal of your moods, eating, and sleeping habits. Trust your instincts and make your own adjustments then share the results with the psychiatrist. This is a conversation that will help you to trust your decision making.

    In regards to your family, well they will always have something to say. Listen, be polite, and make your own choice, voice it, give them an opportunity to help. If they choose otherwise, so be it, you are not responsible for their feelings. Every time I am unsure of a direction, I look at the facts, the pros and cons, and the outcomes for me and the people close to me. Talk to your husband, show him your research and your potential for better health through a plan of action and ask him to help. Ask him what he needs from you, consider it — is it achievable? If so, commit to working on it, if not find a Plan B with him. This is hard but can be surprisingly affirming and hopeful if both of you see this as an opportunity for something new, a clean slate.

    If you feel an emotional overload coming on — step away and find a way to release it with minimal damage to him or you. Prepare yourself for which way he chooses. Know that if he decides to be unsupportive, fine, if he starts to put you down… this is abusive and will only get worse. Tell him how these behaviors make you feel — if he comes around great, if not — then start pulling away to protect your health so you can get better. Remember this is a rough patch, go slow, once they see the changes in you, they may come around. What matters is that you find stability in being yourself.

    Hope this helps.

    Take care,
    -miko

  • in reply to: Guilt for treating my ADHD with medication #42510

    Devon Frye
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user whizinc in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    I’m hoping you can talk to your husband again and get his support. You’re trying something new to gain control of the ADHD symptoms and how they affect your life. This is not a forever choice. Try the meds for the 30 days. Ask your husband to notice whether he thinks they are helping. At the end of the month, discuss what you liked and didn’t like. Many people, with their doctor, have to figure out what is the right dose, the best time to take the meds, and which med works best. I am an older working mom. I’ve been taking 10 mg of Methylphenidate twice a day for nearly 7 years. It doesn’t fix anything, but it does help with focus and concentration. I do feel like my body chemistry is off if I forget my meds for a day. But I just take them the next day and it’s ok. Please do not feel guilty. You are taking steps to be a better Mom, wife and worker. That is an admirable thing. I hope your husband and Mom can get to the point where they understand that. As for the weight loss…I wish… =)

  • in reply to: Guilt for treating my ADHD with medication #42506

    Devon Frye
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user Notwaving in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    I am really pleased to have found this thread — as the parent of a teen and wife of an adult with ADHD. My daughter started on medication at 11 years — two years at least after diagnosis. I overcame my doubts at the time by thinking of the damage being done to my daughter by the endless negative feedback from school, including peers. She had decided she was ‘dumb’ by age five. In her teenage years she has shown resentment of medication and been supported and encouraged to give it up by a school counselor and school house matron (no experience or knowledge of ADHD between them). She and they blamed her ADHD-related anxiety and disordered eating on it. She failed her exams as a result.

    I continue to feel high levels of guilt and continue to read as many research papers on aspects of methylphenidate as I can.

    It seems to me that the research evidence is huge and hugely persuasive — very few studies find negative outcomes.

    I applaud your efforts — if they persist, ask your family to look at the research evidence. For yourself, I wonder whether it’s worth considering keep a short diary of days off and on medication. Look at the number of negative episodes — of all kinds — that you experience on and off the meds. And make your own mind up.

  • in reply to: Guilt for treating my ADHD with medication #42492

    Devon Frye
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user Bob from Cootamundra in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    When I started on meds — Dexamphetamine — my wife objected.

    She insisted that I talk to a school principal we knew, and a psychiatrist friend of ours. They knew nothing useful.

    My doctor told me that I would be a safer driver when using the meds. My work productivity improved a lot. With some work, my output was doubled.

    I am not addicted. I never have been addicted to anything. I have to set reminder alarms to take a pill!

  • in reply to: Guilt for treating my ADHD with medication #42482

    Devon Frye
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user CaptainOblivious in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    If you had some other physical illness that involved, for example, a lot of pain, would it be reasonable for them to hassle you because you might get addicted (which you won’t if you follow the doc’s instructions to your meds) or lose weight?

    Hey. They object to the problem, and they object to the solution. Doesn’t that say something about how reasonable they’re (not) being?

  • in reply to: Guilt for treating my ADHD with medication #42469

    Devon Frye
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user janeev in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    I think that it’s a hard thing to do — to do what we think is right for us. Our natural sense is to doubt ourselves. I believe there is always the chance that our medication can turn on us and we can have issues from it — but if you work with your doctor to stay connected, if you have other people who you can talk to that will support you, there will be less of a chance of the negative effects taking over. Do what you can to be there for yourself — remember to give yourself the credit for it too. You will find a way to keep the best and leave the rest. I made the decision to take medication in order to keep a job; it paid off in many ways and my family (children) were better off for my choice.

  • in reply to: Should I Homeschool My Child? #40358

    Devon Frye
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user adhdmomma in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    While homeschooling may be the right option for your family (https://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/7042.html), you also still need to work on his behavior in other environments — when he’s an adult he will need these skills.

    You don’t mention if his ADHD is treated or not. If not, treatment is really key and can make a huge difference (https://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/1592.html). If he is getting treatment for his ADHD, I would talk with the prescribing doctor and make a change — current treatment obviously isn’t working well.

    His behavior could also be avoidance due to school struggles. Depending on when he struggles, it may indicate a need to test for learning disabilities (if he always acts out during reading, for example, that could mean he’s avoiding it because it’s hard for him). https://www.additudemag.com/quiz/8/question-1.html

    Penny
    ADDconnect Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • in reply to: Should I Homeschool My Child? #40349

    Devon Frye
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user Pump2Duncan in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    I also agree with Underlycrazy, ask if your child can be involved in the meeting — even if its just the portion to discuss what he feels he needs. When my son was your son’s age we developed rewards for certain behaviors/accomplishments. The Special Ed teacher developed the rewards directly with my son. Say if he finished a project, he picked that he received 10 extra minutes in the computer lab or got to play with LEGOs or draw a picture. His direct involvement made him a part of the plan and seemed to help a lot.

    My son also was allowed to go to the Resource Room whenever he felt he needed to or the general ed teacher thought he needed to. This was ONLY beneficial because the special ed teacher was present in the resource room and helped him identify and work through whatever he was dealing with at the time. I don’t think it would have done him any good if he just went in there and received no support or direction.

    In the public school setting some years will be better than others. Some teachers will be better than others. Second grade was a terrible year for us — third was AMAZING (terrific teachers & special ed teacher) — fourth was okay (but the strides we had made in third carried us through fourth) — and fifth has been terrific.

    I think if you feel homeschooling is the best choice, go for it! You know your child the best. And hey, if it doesn’t work — that’s okay. It’s not like once you take him out of public he can never go back. In some states there are online schools that might be able to give you some direction as far as educational content.

  • in reply to: Should I Homeschool My Child? #40322

    Devon Frye
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user Lilies&Orchids; in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    We have done public school, private school, and homeschooling. They all have their pros and cons. They are all great choices, with limitations.

    Udderlycrazy gives good advice. Expect that you will always be advocating for your child throughout their school years. Some years will be better than others, depending on the teacher. Understand that the teachers have a very difficult job managing all sorts of issues in their classrooms.

    I recently had a conversation with a man whose ADHD son, on medication, just graduated from high school. His son finished with outstanding grades and six AP classes. But he and his wife had to be at the school on a monthly basis to advocate for him. Our ADHD kids do not fit the mold.

    I homeschooled my ADHD child through middle school. It was a difficult first year learning how to work with each other and not against. (Two headstrong gals!) I was amazed by how much we loved it. We did not expect that. It was a great honor for me to take on the responsibility and we enjoyed the freedoms and ability to seek out personal interests and go deep into them. Her national test scores went from mediocre to almost 100%. She made great friends. Our relationship went from strained to close and loving. But not without lots of work on my part.

    My dd has transitioned into public high school beautifully. She got her first straight As last semester! I believe those years homeschooling were a very special, sometimes hair-pulling time, that prepared her well.

    So the overall story here is that you have good options in front of you. All will require work and educating yourself and others. Homeschooling will require far more, but for me it was a labor of love. And do not fear whichever route you take. Neither is forever. Neither will “ruin” your child as long as you are involved.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 160 total)