damnmouse

My Forum Comments

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 30 total)
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  • in reply to: ADD is caused by sugar #122654

    damnmouse
    Participant

    This seems like a myth. I have non-diabetic blood sugar but have a severe case of ADHD. Likewise some people eat sugar all day and have no symptoms. It’s true that consuming sugary foods worsens ADHD symptoms, but my parents fed me pretty healthy foods as a child when my symptoms were the worst. My favorite beverage is carbonated water with no sugar. I eat vegetables and protein. I’m pretty symptomatic.

    If there’s a correlation, it’s indirect. Individuals with bad impulse control tend to overconsume sugar, moreso than overconsuming sugar causing the bad impulse control to begin with.

  • in reply to: Please help – judgment and decision-making at work #121917

    damnmouse
    Participant

    I had this same thing happen to me fairly recently in my life. Was a middle-manager and everything. I went through the same set of fears you seem to be, like, whether I’m working at the patience and understanding of those around me or if I’m actually doing a good job. I actually wound up quitting from stress, though retrospectively I was never disciplined by my supervisor and lived with the perception that I was inadequate and that everyone hated me in that role. After leaving I came to see that wasn’t true and many were surprised I was leaving, which surprised me. That said, I made the kind of mistakes and inefficiencies anyone with ADHD might.. if I could give my past self any advice it would be to not let that destroy me emotionally and to just keep doing the next right thing.

  • in reply to: Lying…when it's obvious #117493

    damnmouse
    Participant

    Lying is an impulse control thing. People with ADHD might tell obvious untruths because they fear there will be consequences for doing something or not doing something, and without really thinking about the situation they snap to a lie. I know I’m much more honest as an adult even when I’ve done messed it all up, but as a kid I think most things I said were not true. I’m sure that sucked for those around me. It took a process of thinking about how lies make me feel about myself and how they make other people feel in order for me to learn to control that impulse. And controlling that impulse is a skill that has to be learned, there are some techniques out there. I know it’s going to be frustrating and will be a long-term project to overcome this, but acknowledge your child when she tells the truth let her know how it made you feel that she did, and hopefully this will help her connect what she says to the way people feel about her. When you’re in trouble a lot (and kids with ADHD are) it’s easy to feel drawn to positive reactions and knowing that what you’re doing is something that gets other people’s approval.

  • in reply to: Son 22, never had a job and living with enabling mom #117492

    damnmouse
    Participant

    I was punished a lot as a teenager for my bad performance in school (to the point my parents took the door off my bedroom) and my behavior did not change with regard to how diligent of a student I became or how honest I was about my performance in school. They tried corporal punishment, taking away privileges, leaving me in a room with only my homework and forbidding me to leave, ect. They were pretty unhappy when they came back to that room hours later and found I hadn’t finished a single assignment, and I cried because meeting their expectation, for me, was hopeless. And retrospectively I’m not upset about any of it. They were faced with a weird crisis that I didn’t have intellectual deficits, performed well on tests, but was failing school and they were worried about my ongoing success as an adult.

    As an adult, things changed. I still have very symptomatic ADHD that impacts many areas of my life, but I decided personally that I was going to sink or swim. I wanted to do a lot of things that you can’t do if you have no job and live with mom and dad, so there was some basic biological forces that were telling me I needed to figure something out. One thing I knew about myself, and ADHD, is that I perform super well in any subject matter that fascinates me, both in the classroom and in the workplace. Does he like the outdoors? Computers? Puzzles? is he creative? Is he really patient with difficult people? He likely has some strength that is in some way marketable, and being reminded of that and giving him encouragement may be a game changer for him. And it might be a lengthy process before he succeeds, but it’s something he needs to start working on.

  • in reply to: I sleep around. #115941

    damnmouse
    Participant

    Yeah, I’ve been here and there sexually, too. I think I’m in the tripple digits as far as individual partners go. I used to think that was because that’s how young gay men get around, but, may also have something to do with my impulse control. 😛

  • in reply to: ADHD and adult bullying #115182

    damnmouse
    Participant

    Sometimes I feel like adults around me are trying to upset me and publicly bring up attributes of mine that I consider to be flaws, like my tendancy to pace, be disorganized, ect ect- ADHD symptoms. Some things that I found are effective is to use humor when something like that happens. Like if someone calls me out on being forgetful I say something like “GOD, <damnmouse>, Have a Nutrigrain bar!” The goal being to paint my flaws as endearing to other people. Sometimes this works really well, right now I’m pretty irritable so I feel a little more triggered when people judge me. I’m trying to be mindful of that, and trying to distinguish between the ways adults playfully tease each other through imitation, and when the intention is to socially and emotionally harm me because they smell blood. There’s one coworker who knows I have PTSD for example and she says my name as loud as possible when she pages me at work and it effects me all day. I’ve unplugged my intercom because of that before. I try to address it by being really direct. Like, “okay, there’s a lot going on right now and I’d find it would help me if you said my name at a softer volume, please.” Sometimes it happens and my blood starts to boil because we’ve been over this, even told her it agitates my PTSD symptoms, so I just shut up and wait for her to assume I’m not at my desk. Set boundaries where you need to.

  • in reply to: Attention-Seeking…Shrieking at Basketball game #115106

    damnmouse
    Participant

    When I was a kid I always saw laughter as positive feedback, even when others weren’t meaning to approve of me. At times I wished someone would help me understand the nuances to laughter.

  • in reply to: Vacationing without son #115105

    damnmouse
    Participant

    Funny, I hated vaccations too when I was a kid. This is going to sound terrible but my parents idea of a perfect vaccation was something really quiet and relaxing, like to a cold foggy beach or browsing stores that seemed to sell nothing but metal frogs and T-shirts that said “wish I was in _____ town.” There are a trillion towns that are exactly like that and we went to all of them. Without my Gameboy I would have been entirely miserable. It could be your child wants to eat but just doesn’t like what’s on the menu.

  • in reply to: Strange behavior part 2 #115104

    damnmouse
    Participant

    Hmm! He might have things going on along with the ADHD. One thing I know about video games and ADHD is that they’re a highly stimulating activity, and something that’s highly stimulating is needed to wake up our ability to focus. I don’t ever remember swearing at my videogames or being inappropriate with my family when I was bored, though. He may have another thing he likes- contrary to many with ADHD, I was super into reading when I was a kid and would be up until 2am reading horror stories to keep the adrenaline going. I know it’s problematic where sleep is concerned but there wasn’t much I could do about that. I remember horror books being so engaging to me that I’d have to sneak flashlights into my room because my parents would yell at me if the lights were on. I’d read them during school. If he has a set of thrill-seeking behaviors maybe he can be redirected to something non-destructive like that. Not sure if that is a perfect example as many people with ADHD don’t like reading, but redirection can help.

    The inappropriate behavior and verbal abuse toward his mother needs to be addressed clinically. I have many problems that are clearly rooted in ADHD but I wasn’t terrorizing my family like that in my childhood (or now,) and one should expect that he act appropriately with regard to his family. While engaging in stimulating activities is normal, engaging in immoral activities is showing a lack of understanding how other people are feeling. Try using statements with him like “when you look at people while they’re in the bathroom they feel disgusted and unsafe.” And also he needs to be in a clincial office.

  • in reply to: Am I the only adult that refuse to medicated? #114615

    damnmouse
    Participant

    I also do not medicate. Never even tried it, largely because I felt spiteful about how my providers and teachers talked about it when I was a teenager, then I learned some coping skills as an adult. Here are some things that help me succeed:

    -I sleep using a weighted blanket. I just started this and cannot stress enough how successful this has been. Normally I constantly feel the need to move when I lay down and have a hard time turning my brain off. This provides an overwhelming sense of well-being and calms that irritability that makes me want to be moving or notice strange sensations on my body. It also makes me not think stressful thoughts at night.

    -I put my hand over my mouth when it’s not my turn to speak.

    -I cross my feet and put them under my chair when I am in meetings to prevent bouncing my knee or other types of fidgeting that will distract my coworkers.

    -I talk to myself to try to keep me on track.

    -I give myself time to take walks.

    -carbonated water only, no soda.
    -NO DRUGS.

  • in reply to: ADHD and loneliness #113186

    damnmouse
    Participant

    That’s weird, I thought the old soul thing was unrelated to my ADHD but I see a lot of people have that same experience… LoL.

    I’m not lonely but I’ve always felt very different from my peers, for sure.

  • in reply to: Trigger words. #113185

    damnmouse
    Participant

    My biggest peeve is “no offense, BUT…<something meant to be offensive>”

    It actually doesn’t have anything to do with my ADHD but I hate the hell out of it.

  • in reply to: Affraid to Pursue treatment. #110993

    damnmouse
    Participant

    randomly my relationship with the medical community is really sensitive due to some bad experiences I had as a child. I am trying to get help on this but I definitely feel skeptical of everything I’m being told and sometimes resent myself for medicalizing my problems.

    A funny thing is I don’t resent other people for getting medical help with mental health issues, and I even encourage them to do just that. I’m not sure why I hold myself to a different standard. Some of it has to do with this feeling that I just suck and why should anyone else care. Maybe that’s something else for me to work on.

  • in reply to: I feel useless. #110859

    damnmouse
    Participant

    That’s a nice thing to say, your family is lucky to have such a supportive person in you!

  • in reply to: I feel useless. #110858

    damnmouse
    Participant

    You’re right, thanks, it’s advice I’d give to someone else who is struggling with this. It’s really hard to take my own advice. I’ve got to figure something out though because in six short months my self esteem has gone from healthy to nothing.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 30 total)