My Forum Comments
I have been dealing with a similar problem with alcohol, especially since the pandemic has left us stuck at home.
I just started a medication that may help you. it’s Naltrexone. It’s used to treat opioid addiction, and is also very successful for alcohol, especially if you want to significantly reduce but not necessarily completely give it up. There is something called “the Sinclair method” where you take the medication an hour before you have a drink. The medication reduces the pleasure your brain gets from drinking. So after a couple drinks you don’t feel the need to continue.
It’s been very helpful and allowed me to significantly reduce the amount I was drinking.
What you describe are classic symptoms of executive function issues commonly referred to as ADHD. Get tested by a psychologist who understands and treats ADHD. They will suggest treatment options and coordinate with your primary care physician.
Look for a psychologist immediately. Your doc may be able to suggest someone or ask parents you know who have kids who’ve been diagnosed.
I really try to avoid saying anything unkind on any social media. If I do disagree I keep it focused on me:
“In my experience…” or “I feel this way about that…”
That’s ridiculous, how can you believe that?” or “You should/shouldn’t do X”
I finish with YMMV a lot (Your mileage may vary.)
When apologizing, you needn’t admit you were in the wrong if you weren’t. Say you are sorry you made them upset and that wasn’t what you intended. That makes it more about caring for your friend’s feelings and the social media topic is not the focus.
This was only possible for me after taking meds. Before that, it was easy for me to get my knickers in a twist about things. Right-brainers actively seek out argument and conflict as it gives us dopamine just like pleasant things.
Keep in mind if someone is making you feel bad a lot it’s probably not about you, they are just acting out. If they are just a toxic person, it may be worthwhile to cut them loose.
One other thing. When I talk about my ADHD I always frame it as being “right-brained.” People often get that better than any clinical terms.
So glad you found a decent therapist, as that makes a world of difference. As far as friendships go, try your local theater group. You don’t have to act, you can build sets or any number of things. But a lot of theater people are ADHD, and as a group tends to be non-judgemental about things. If not that, then yoga or some other type of class. I have found that sharing a hobby can create wonderful friendships.
What does he like to do? What interests him? What is his degree in?
You’ve talked about what you don’t like to do, now look at the opposite. What do you like to do? What interests you? That’s the place to start. During your Medical studies, were there ANY pieces that really interested you? It doesn’t matter what they were, it could be just interacting with patients, or some other detail.
One thing that can help you with self criticism is paying attention to the ANTs. Automatic Negative Thoughts. This is objectifying the criticisms you level against yourself. So when you have the thought: “I’m a loser.“ You simply say to yourself: “I’m having the thought that I’m a loser.“ Then look at all the successes you’ve had and you see it’s not true.
After a while you will be able to identify these instantly and dismiss them. It really helps you accept yourself as you are.
You’re still very young so you should have no problem starting a new career.
Be sure to find the right therapist. It really helps a lot.
- This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by ADDLobstah.
Mac11b20f, it’s possible you need to adjust your med dosage. It may be possible to balance your motivation and your focus to get the most out of both.
Dealing with same issue with 10 year old. She started Guanfacine about 6 months ago and is much better now. Still issues, but improved grades and social abilities.June 23, 2018 at 10:54 pm in reply to: Psychiatrist keeps dismissing my ADHD as depression/anxiety. #86961
It may not be a misdiagnosis exactly. It’s only very recently we are starting to understand anxiety, depression, OCD, ODD, emotional dysregulation, or the nine or so identified types of ADD, are all related. It’s why you hear so often that ADHD people are also dealing with comorbid conditions. It’s all variations of Executive Function Disorder. Saying “variations” doesn’t mean we are all dealing with the same issues. A person with ADD isn’t the same as someone with, say, clinical depression. But all of these issues are centered in the prefrontal cortex.
The best docs aren’t just using a scale. That’s important because some people will try to game the system to get stimulant meds. The scale should be a starting point.
He’s not ruining anything, you are reacting as if he can change. That creates conflict in the house. He must find a discipline. Give him nothing more and toss him out on his butt until he does. If you won’t do this because of __________________ (fill in excuse here) you are simply enabling him. This is not a judgment of your parenting, it is just basic human behavior.
A discipline is simply an interest that triggers a dopamine response that drives self-motivation. It doesn’t have to make money today, but it should when he is skilled.
NOTE: He will not do anything as long as you coddle him. Ever. Then when you die he is screwed.
What ADHD meds are you taking?April 4, 2018 at 4:14 pm in reply to: Little patience with other drivers…other shoppers, etc. #80820
This site has a good basic test. https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-symptoms-test-adults/April 3, 2018 at 8:49 pm in reply to: Little patience with other drivers…other shoppers, etc. #80822
Oh, man, do I remember those road rage days. With meds, I only get angry when I see people driving super fast as I drop my kids off at school. It’s a SCHOOL ZONE.
Try making it a game. Like those factory signs with “We now have 12 days without an accident.” See how many minutes before someone does something really dumb. Keep score. “Red Camry breaks this weeks record at 6 minutes with a stupid level of 5!”
Or get a dash cam and send it to the cops. 🙂April 3, 2018 at 6:53 pm in reply to: Living with ADHD & Depression-will I ever feel happy? #80817