My Forum Comments
<Call your son over and have him pick up the items and put them where they go. Ask HIM where he thinks is a more appropriate place for each item. This is the only way he will learn to slow down some and not always drop things wherever. Yes, doing it yourself is so much easier, but you’re enabling the problem. Trust me, I’m a reformed enabler. 😉 >
Yes this is good advice I know. Generally I do this, but sometimes when I am tidying and he’s not home I just need a place to put school papers and things.
Also I’m not sure if he will ever learn even with making him do it himself. Every single day for about 3 years I called him back to put his shoes away in his shoe drawer after he kicked them off in the kitchen. He showed absolutely no sign of improvement, it just became his routine. So now I call it close enough if his shoes are in front of the drawer. Pick your battles and all that!!
<One thing that works for me, to some extent, is to try to catch myself thinking “I’ll remember.” Any time I think that, it’s a sure fire sign that I will not remember, so need to do something that second preventatively > This is fabulous advice! Thank you! I do this myself but have had trouble explaining this to my son, this is a great way to explain it, thank you.
Thank you everyone for the suggestions! It’s good to hear from others who struggle with this. I also struggled with this a lot as a kid (I still lose things now but much less often) so I’m trying to teach him my techniques. So far we do have a landing pad area at home which has a hook for bag, drawer for shoes and a pigeon hole for books, papers etc. He dumps his stuff all over the place anyway but at least I have somewhere to put his bits and pieces when I find them all over the house! So at home we are managing ok, but it’s when he’s out or transitioning that is the problem. He just can’t seem to remember that he is supposed to have ‘stuff’ or how much.
Find my iphone is very useful and has saved us many times, but the problem is it doesn’t work when the phone is out of charge which is what happened this time. We have a Tile on his instrument but having bluetooth on drains his phone which then causes the dead battery problem.
We had a Watchminder for a while which was really helpful to remind him of things, unfortunately it was not waterproof and for a kid who can’t remember to take it off before swimming that was a fatal flaw! I like the suggestion of putting a reminder in his phone. I could put one in that is triggered when he gets near his bus stop to remind him to check his hand and then each morning he could write on his hand what he has with him that day.
I am hoping that the fact that he gets really upset (like when he lost his beloved new sneakers after 1 week) will eventually make his subconscious start to remind him, even if consciously he is not able to.
<He is so blessed to have a mom who helps and accepts him the way you do> Thank you strwbry, that means a lot! 🙂