My Forum Comments
As a young adult (24) who was diagnosed at the same time you were (first year in College), I found that the extended release worked well for me but left me somewhat out of touch when I was finished with my engagements. After several years of using it I found that instant release worked much better because of its ability to be utilized only when I needed it, and not lingering when I didn’t. I feel if you have issues with emotional regulation that maybe the XRs are the way to go, otherwise I would recommend at least discussing the concept with your doctor. Nowadays, I feel with proper exercise and nutrition that I really only have to use Ritalin(what I’m prescribed) when I have school tasks to complete or I’m having a more down day than usual. IMO, IR has the ability to develop a tolerance much quicker than with the XR due to the time it takes to kick in and how strongly it effects you when it does. Maybe try and find times or tasks that don’t require its usage and times you feel are worthy of its use, and only take it accordingly? Just an idea. Best of luck with college though, it can be quite overwhelming I’m sure, especially with your major.
To be brief, if I were in his shoes I would be as straightforward as possible. I think it is important to be upfront so that no daydreaming or fantasizing occurs and there is no buildup for a letdown. I myself still struggle with this concept and find myself doing similar things as far as when an attractive female shows me attention, but know that I feel much better and more confident about my feelings when I get them off of my chest. The decision is ultimately your grandson’s, but I would make sure he understands the repercussions of his decisions before he makes them, whether that be your wait and see approach or my blunt approach.
Hello, StillplaysMC(I am assuming that means Mine Craft). Just wanted to agree with several of the comments made above about your ability to write very well, I think that is something often overlooked as far as intelligence goes. I am 24 and have only been diagnosed several years ago, when I was 19. I had absolutely terrible grades in High School and college up until the last several semesters I have attended, not even joking my GPA was less than a 1.0. Like you, I have had a difficult time trying to develop meaningful relationships and have also had a father that is quite condemning and unemotional towards my thoughts and opinions. It has taken me a long time to recognize (as is also mentioned above) that it truly does depend on who I want to communicate with and share my feelings, which as of lately has been only my therapist. It can be quite frustrating having someone tell you you’re incapable due to your own lack of willpower, when in your head all you want to do is “focus” and be present in the situation you’re thrust into emotionally, academically, or socially. As redundant as it sounds, it will get better but it does take quite a bit of practice. Although medications worked great for me at first I didn’t want to maintain them as I didn’t like the “zombified” effect that they made me feel, at least with the extended release varieties I was taking. One of the best things I have found to help me focus mentally and articulate emotionally is running. I choose to run several days a week because it does make me feel a lot less overwhelmed or depressed, even if it is for a limited amount of time. Making sure to eat a well balanced diet of fruits and vegetables is essential to maintain a good blood sugar and to prevent even more volatile exacerbated moods, which as an ADHD person come and go like clockwork. Believe me when I say, I’m sure there are going to be many teachers and counselors you will meet who have nothing but your best interest at heart. It can be quite difficult to believe people (especially adult male figures) when you have the situation you are dealing with at home, but if they are competent enough (and I feel like you are definitely competent enough to differentiate) they will want nothing but to lend a helping hand or a guiding mind academically and personally. If you haven’t heard of the concept before, I would look into the concept of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (essentially being subjective about your thoughts in order to alter how they occur the next time a similar situation arises). This way of thinking, although sometimes hard to follow or allowing to happen, is very beneficial to helping you realize much about how your brain is hardwired and how it effects you in day-to-day life. It is okay to fear for your future, that’s a very admirable trait that I unfortunately shaded with pseudo-apathy when I was younger, but know that as you grow older each day and deal with more situations domestically or otherwise you can and will be a successful individual professionally, personally, romantically, or academically so long as you hold onto the desire to better yourself and better your situation. I wish you the best of luck and feel for your situation very intimately as someone who has had similar instances… P.S. I still play Runescape at 24 :3
I sincerely appreciate all of your replies, it is most comforting and relaxing to even just communicate with others that have similar communication styles and life experiences. I never usually have issues exploding (learned the hard way sometimes you need to internalize for the sake of the relationship) my emotions onto people, most times it’s the opposite. I think a fear of intimacy just causes me to become too hyper-vigilant for the situation and ultimately not express the feelings I have in the time that I am given; I constantly run through too many situations in my head (good and bad) and never make a definitive choice verbally or emotionally. Methylphenidate (Ritalin IR/XR) helped tremendously with filtering through my emotions and curbing the anxiety, although I am bound and determined to become someone capable enough to deal with them without medicine (maybe I’m just being stubborn). It is quite a strange feeling being able to comprehend how you’re going to react in a situation emotionally (i.e. the rejection I faced), yet still be absolutely overwhelmed by the feelings you have. I personally have never had a relationship as a young adult and it has been something I’ve desired quite a while due to my wishy-washy family life, but my cognitive development due to ADHD as well as inconsistent parenting has created quite a rift between what I want as a young adult and the life I’ve unfortunately had to submit to in order to maintain a “normal” family life. I exercise tremendously, run basically 5 miles 5 times a week, going to start a strength regimen sometime soon. Drink only water, chocolate milk, and beer every now and then while only eating fruits, vegetables and meat every now and then. I keep my mind stimulated by doing school work typically and feel like I’m always exhausted enough to go to sleep, but the gut wrenching feeling of anxiety and self-doubt is a daily sucker punch unfortunately. I do believe things will improve with age, emotional and mental maturity, experience, cognitive awareness, and faith in better things to come; but until then I will keep pressing on and grinding out what needs to be done in order for me to be the adult I envision myself being and to immerse myself in the love and life I so very much hope for. Again, thank you all for letting my voice myself, means the world to me…