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  • in reply to: I'm on diagnosis waiting list, and new to this forum. #99047

    “Please be kind to yourself”

    – that was a really lovely thing to say 🌹 thank you!! What a beautiful soul you must be ♥️ we don’t say kind things to each other enough these days, and ESPECIALLY not to ourselves – so I think it’s just beautiful that you could put that into words for that person in need.

    I hope everyone who reads it takes that away from this thread with them 😊 it’s a gem that helps us all much more than we realise! 💎

    in reply to: Numb/Dull/Lifeless #99044

    I can’t tell you how much less alone I feel from reading this. I’m juggling anxiety+depression, ADHD, & chronic pain – & I feel like there is absolutely no way to be taking all these meds (at least swallowing something each hour or two) and I HATE being so dependent on them all! Because although I’m so “flat” (for lack of a better word) like you, I’m numb, neutral, like a zombie almost. Nothing moves me! But if I miss just ONE of my medications, I can’t handle it I’m all out of wack and I can’t handle it even more than I can’t handle being on all of them!
    (Not to mention i take a different opiate and antipsychotic at night time to help me sleep)

    I hate myself for it – I used to be so ALIVE. Full of life! And ever since puberty I’ve constantly been evolving year upon year into a worse and worse mental health case and I feel like it’s never ending (and I’m currently 31)

    So as much as I can’t give you help, or answers – I hope that my message along with the other here, have given you a little comfort that you aren’t alone, and you aren’t gone for good.
    I’m sure there are many people who were once where we are…and we’ll be where they are one day too, and able to hopefully point them in the right direction &/or help give them some tips.

    This community here on ADDitude is the best medium I’ve found to connect with others like us, as well as find endless information on all the important issues, plus so many new tips and ideas each day, and actual words from professionals too which you’ll often see replying in a lot of these posts, and of course putting together the articles which we read.

    I recommend signing up to the emails too (I normally hate any stores & companies sending annoying emails trying to sell me crap each week with “special deals” etc) but the INFORMATION in these emails are spot on, and they aren’t trying to make you buy anything of course.

    I think our best strength against a lot of the pain is knowledge – and this is the place to gain this. Like they say “knowledge is power”

    I envy your organisational skills. I wish I at least had that 😔..I’m struggling to at least do my self care and hygiene anymore these days. And I’m lucky if I sleep each night of the week.

    Oh I’m getting sad typing all my failures – so I’m out..back to listening to my usual stuff that I do 24/7 that I’d say helps contribute to my zombie-like state. No smiles no frowns. But I’d rather be stone than the blubbering mess I’d be if I DID feel any emotion (cause I certainly know I wouldn’t be gleeful or laughing about much🤔😐)

    I cbf proofreading. This is too long and I don’t want to read this back. I’m so so sorry if I’ve brought your mood down, or been no help at all… I must admit it did feel a little lighter when I first started typing to you, but I went too far as per usual in all of my life.
    Anyway – sorry for any spelling errors, grammatical errors, or anything nonsensical from misplaced words cause I haven’t read it back and my fingers don’t always keep up with my brain lol.

    Good luck, you sound like a beautiful soul and I hope you find your way some day ♥️ 🌹

    Serena ☺️
    Brisbane, Australia

    in reply to: I'm on diagnosis waiting list, and new to this forum. #98243

    Hey! Welcome 😊 based on what you’ve described, I’d say you absolutely have it – you basically described me in your story!
    Although I’m not a doctor, I’d say yes stick with the path you are on to get diagnosed in the fastest route possible, so that you are finally able to get on some medication that could possibly help ease those terribly overwhelming day-to-day symptoms. I know first hand they are so detrimental to your career, social & personal
    Relationships – but most importantly, your relay with yourself! It’s so frustrating and you can start getting more and more down on yourself. I started withdrawing & that behaviour just embarrassed me even more & I became shameful & just worse by the day.

    Now that you know that this IS what you’ve got (if you decide to take my word for it lol) please try not to become frustrated & impatient with having to wait for your appointment to get the ball rolling on your treatment…otherwise you’ll just drive yourself crazy!
    All you can do is be sure you’ve checked out every resource possible to know that you’re definitely on the fastest track to get treatment.
    Do you know anyone else with add? Maybe ask them where & how they began their journey working with the professionals in getting help 😊

    Is there any way you can avoid the test? Why can’t you just see a shrink & tell him what’s wrong and then he prescribe you the medication that he thinks would be good to start off with? (Btw, I say that because the first meds you try may not be the right one for you. Keep in mind there are soooo many different types. And you can trial and error with as many as you need for as long as you need – there is no right or wrong amount of time. As long as you eventually find the one that is right for you in the end, 👉🏻 it was all worth it.

    You’ll learn SO much about yourself in this time. I’m excited for you. It’s nice to finally have some answers as to why you are who youu are and why you do some of the things you do.

    This website has been an absolute godsend for me..honestly. I don’t know anyone else with our condition & I don’t talk to others about my feelings anyway, but at least I know that HERE, on ADDitude – it’s real & serious medical advice and information. There is always new articles and new ideas and so many guides and outlines on how to help yourself in certain situations.
    You’ll get stuck in this website’s rabbit hole for hooours and hours, for days upon end (thanks hyperfocus 😒 ugh. You may never rid yourself of that one unfortunately. I’m 31 & was diagnosed 3years ago & haven’t managed to void my life of the relentless hyperfocus monster 😖)
    But yeah – at least it’ll be productive, & even after as much as you think you could have gotten through on this website – THERE IS ALWAYS MORE LOL.
    It’s a treasure trove of information which I’ve been SO thankful to have found, as I am from Australia and I’m unaware of anything at all like this organisation. ADD isn’t much recognised in our country… I don’t know why.
    It was actually really difficult to find a shrink that “specialised” in adult adhd – as most of them don’t want to deal with the condition at all!

    As usual I’ve typed so much that I’m way over time (am getting annoyedly nagged at right now as I type this last bit) so I do apologise, but I won’t be able to proofread what I’ve yyped and often my fingers and brains are running at different speeds depending on the time of day 😂 so sometimes I make mistakes! Not so much spelling mistakes, more grammatical or just incorrect (or mixed up ordered) words. Either way- I hope you’ve understood me well enough and that I’ve provided you with a bit of comfort to encourage you to continue on the path you’re on in regards to getting your diagnosis, as well as some confidence in your decision. You ARE doing the right thing…and hey, even if you don’t end up having add – at least you’ll know and be able to rule one more thing out to help continue your journey into finding out what IS wrong..

    Actually you should see a doctor anyway to treat the symptoms you can (e.g anxiety & the likes) until you finally get your adhd test and are able to start taking that class of medication.

    Omg I really have to go!! 😲 I forgot!!! 🤦🏼‍♀️🤬

    Take care, I hope it all starts working out & becoming clearer.
    I’m happy to talk any time 😊
    Talk next time, I hope I helped!
    Lots of encouragement and warm wishes
    Serena, Australia 🇦🇺

    in reply to: 28 M Corporate Attorney – Just Diagnosed #82515

    Hi hun. Serena here, 31yr old female, diagnosed late 2016. Unfortunately I don’t have much time to reply right now, but I relate SO frikken much to your story I just had to quickly log in and let you know what I think, because I truly do feel for you.

    Sadly, it’s been everyone around you. Your family hammered into you how careless and disrespectful you are – when that’s not the case at all. I am more than sure that your loved ones would never have wanted to do this to you on purpose – but the word is SHAME. They made you feel shame.
    Shame is *the* most crippling feeling one can have in my opinion (google shame in relation to adhd – or even to depression & anxiety (if you suffer from those at all) but yeah the word is shame. You are not guilty at all. You’re innocent…you’re innocent to why you were doing things, why things were happening that you apparently did (despite not doing it on purpose or weren’t even aware what was going on), and you were taught to feel guilty about them! (Losing items, forgetting important things etc.
    “Normal” people don’t just lose or forget things without SOME sort of knowledge about it – so they just CANNOT understand that it’s even possible to have the same thing happen for someone else, in any other way. This also isn’t exactly their fault. HAD your parents KNOWN about the adhd, they’d’ve been able to arm themselves with information, recognise your creative strengths and practical weaknesss, & nurture the right parts of your personality to help you grow into a proud and self assured young man.
    Having felt guilty like you said, about things you’d DONE…it just isn’t true. I feel so sad that you’ve live with this guilt. Your intentions were not malicious, egotistical or purposely hurtful or neglectful to other people or other things.
    Just help educate your girlfriend and your family…and yourself! This site is amazing. Print out articles and helpful things for them to help understand you and how they can also get the best out of you. Print articles to help yourself work out strategies for prioritising. Keeping things in their place, and having stuff planned out.
    Have you ever heard of a “Dot Journal?” Or “Bullet Journal”? I strongly suggest you Google that too… it could save your life! The creator of the whole “idea” is named Ryder Carroll. He has a website (which I can’t remember the name of exactly, so google it please! ✨)
    I’m reading info on it by a girl named Rachel Wilkerson Miller atm as I’m doing mine…and I tell you.. It’s been a hard road getting me into the swing of actually DOING IT – but oh my god. Seriously – lifesaver! And you seem like the creative type too. You make it entirely yourself, the way YOU want it. There’s no rules and it keeps your whole life in less space than anything else (you’ll get what u mean once you see it) maybe go to Ryder’s site. I think there’s a quick video on the main homepage of his site. Otherwise YouTube will show you haha. YouTube knows everything! I find it just as handy as google, cause that way I don’t have to read so many articles, I can listen to it (and watch if necessary), otherwise I can be doing something else while it’s on ☺️ Like writing.

    Now look I know this is going to have 739474963 spelling and grammatical errors, but like I said I’m under a time crunch (and am currently 3hrs over GOD i kneeeew i shouldn’t have opened safari 🤦🏼‍♀️ Mum is on my back about how I haven’t moved from this spot in 5hours (gosh I’m starving to be honest too, but too busy)
    …..and I just NEEDED to try to help you 🙏🏻 ☺️💕✨ Wow I hope this had made at least a little bit of sense so that you at least get SOMETHING out of it 🙏🏻 you’re too young, too smart and too on the ball to let yourself get caught up in guilt (that I feel was put on you) …despite however unintentional, ok?

    And you can always come back here. This place is like a family- you’re already one of us and we already know you ☺️❤️🙏🏻✨

    I hope as time goes on you begin to grow and know yourself more – and we’ll be happy to witness you win at your own life 💪🏻

    Ok I’m out!
    Take Care, Talk soon.
    Let me know how you go ok?
    Love Serena 😊 xoxo

    • Shame.
    • Dot/Bullet Journal (Ryder Carroll/Rachel Wilkerson Miller)

    in reply to: Is it possible that I could have ADHD? Why or why not? #81417

    I’m no doctor but it definitely sounds like it to me! I’d absolutely go and get tested by a psych – even if you don’t particularly have ADHD, you might have something else?
    YOU know your own mind, and if something isn’t right you owe it to yourself to get tested. I’m 30 now and didn’t go and get tested til I was 27…I just didn’t want to appear different.
    But like someone else said – I was TIRED. I just couldn’t fake the “together” version of myself that I’d been faking for so long.

    After getting on my dex everything changed. I just soooo wish I hadn’t waited so long to do this for myself!!

    GOODLUCK 😊 I’d make an appt right away.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 2 months ago by bunneyoo. Reason: Ugh. Typo
    in reply to: Telephone Avoidance #79566

    …you just described me. NO ONE would know my fears & shortcomings when they meet me. I’m well dressed, kind, selfless, & the less I know someone – the more I’m willing to have a chat if they start one.
    The instant I start to get close to anyone, and the more they get to know me – the more I pull away.
    I just know they’ll start thinking I’m a freak and start hating me as much as I do once they find out all my odd behaviours.

    Reading here – it SEEMS as though we’re normal…but the big bad outside REAL world is just that- big, bad, and it’s real.
    Online is safe because it’s manageable by ourselves & own wants & needs from it, it’s kind, accepting where you need it, and you can close the window/delete the email/unsubscribe to something if you’d rather “not answer that door” today.
    The internet…online, life is FAR from real (I mean; look at people’s Instagram accounts – that is just a frikken highlight real of what they WANT you to think they’re like. They’d take like 300photos and use 2 filters and a few photo editing apps just to make that “best of 300 photo” look how they WANT you to see it/wish they really had.
    It all a fantasy land. It’s all just a game that people play with themselves, thinking they’re “keeping up with <insert someone relevant here>”
    It might as well be the sims or something lol.
    I’m so sick of people portraying parts of their life with SUCH frills and sparkles and flawless skin, with dog ears and a licky tongue- & im SURE that there are more people who believe that all these people have these AMAZING & luxurious lives, who really do work out 6 days a week (when in reality they just wear active wear all day because they’re too lazy to wear anything else when they’ve got nothing on all day except for the grocery shopping. So they take a pic with a high messy pony tail and wet their face & hair line a bit after putting enough blush on to look puff out after their “spin class” (just take a sneaky pic of the gym on th way to the grocery store too, just to ensure legit-ness)
    I’ve witnessed it all!

    I’m rambling. Going to push send before I keep talking. I guess when you don’t talk to anyone in a while (easy to do when you’re a Nigel No-Friends) …things build up inside you and you spewwwww anything you can say as fast as you can say it 😂 SORRYYYYYY ☺️
    Have an amazing day you sweet one 💕

    in reply to: Telephone Avoidance #79565

    I’m so glad to see that someone else *also* hides from the front door! Even when it’s an exciting parcel from eBay for me!!! I let them leave it at the front door, and even then.. I STILL can’t work up the courage to open the door and get it.
    I wait til my mother comes over and she always brings all the mail and parcels inside ☺️ 😔
    God love her…she’s 60yrs old and still does simple tasks she sees that are undone as she goes.
    I’ll be in the bathroom for 15mins and I’ll come out and we chat some more and once we’re done I’ll carry on doing whatever – eventually head to my room for one reason or another…and I’ll see she’s folded the huuuuge pile of clothes on my bed from washing over the weekend😲! Don’t get me wrong it’s the best surprise ever, but I just feel bad my mum is still mothering me at this age, when I feel like the tables should’ve turned a bit by now and *I* should be fussing around her – not the other way around, like it has been for the past 30 yrs. she deserves more & I just feel so pathetic and can’t show her all the love I feel for her through actions ☹️ It’s all talk – and we know that actions speak louder than words.
    She’s getting frustrated but would never tell me so.

    I can’t even open the front door for her. I gave her a key instead and she shuffles in with bags on her arms and face-high piles of parcels and mail.

    😡 … 😢😥😪😭

    in reply to: Telephone Avoidance #79563

    I must say, I am very proud of you and admire you putting yourself outside your comfort zone ❤️ 👌🏻 keep up the good work.

    Ps I found BY ACCIDENT, a website that I can name an appt to any medical centre, AND choose the doctor AND time I want to see them 😲 so for my scripts, I book in advance and get the best times hehe! (Plus I don’t have to go through the dreaded phone call with the receptionist who honestly has NO people skills whatsoever)

    in reply to: Telephone Avoidance #79562

    Yeah I 100% agree! Texts, emails and my fave – forums, are the way to go for sure!

    in reply to: Telephone Avoidance #79561

    Yeah I 100% agree! Texts, emails and my fave – forums, are the way to go for sure!

    in reply to: Telephone Avoidance #79560

    Hey girl don’t you worry ok – just by reading your response I drew the conclusion that you ABSOLUTELY love your family and of course – friends! You’re not a shitth friend (wish I could take my own advice when I say that, cause I feel the same way about myself lol) …but my REAL friends, who *care* – just know not to call me! If they do, it’s just to leave a voicemail cause they cbf typing lol (god i get sick of typing too…it can take me a good hour to type a (long) text to a friend, particularly when responding to a voicemail – do you know how much can be said in just 2minutes?? A whole freakin LOT! …seriously, some of my texts are so long that my iPhone shortens them and makes them like 7 lines, then you have to click on the box the text’ in – and it opens my novel sized message in a completely white screen (so there’s plenty of room) and the text is just all in that…from edge to edge of the phone, & you’ve still gotta scroll down several times to read it all.

    I HATE TYPING, but I can’t even press the little microphone next to the space bar to just dictate to my phone doing voice-to-text, cause I’m too shy to even hear my own voice when telling the phone what to type! Even when I’m 100% alone I can’t do it 😩 I swear..ohh! I just can’t imagine the TJME it’d save.

    Anyway. yeah. Good person. Good friend. Good friends (yeah real friends will comply…they’ll do whatever they have to to talk to you if they really want to 🙂 Promise 👍🏻

    I probably COULD answer my parents phone calls, and they know my situation and have witnessed the phobia – but I don’t answer them. I always text mum back instantly…and SAY I’ll call her back later, but we usually end up in a tech convo for the next few hours and then lucky for me the phone call is not all that necessary anymore hehe 😁 Love her. And dad actually, cause they both send strictly short texts so it’s fun, quick back & forth & I love the short & sweet…(with them there def no long winded goss-sessions – which of course are long by necessity – I mean…HELLO?! – what’s a good story without details? I mean..I don’t even know, but what’s the point lol 🙄

    I don’t know why this is so long and how it got so long – allbi wanted to do was tell you you’re def NOT alone, and you are faaaf from abnormal- you’re just the right amount of weird hehe 😜❤️ You sound kind, thoughtful, and your whole post was very endearing.
    If you take anything away from this looooong thesis of ADHD first thing in the morning 101 chapter: “before your eyes have even unblurred” ….exhibit A <this post, while typing this last line I swallowed my adderall with the last couple of sips of my coffee ☕️🚬☕️☕️ 💊💊💊=☺️👌🏻😍😇🤓☮️☯️

    I’m so sorry but this is too long to proofread… plus I’m not in the mood to do so 😂
    I hope this is all makes, and that it’s just easy spelling errors and poor punctuation. If my structure is so poor that you don’t understand a certain part – just know that I was on your side, comforting you, and hoping to remind you how awesome you are (cause you sound like someone idnooce to have in my own close friend circle (just quietly to anyone reading this – I’m in a new city and I don’t have any friends yet 😕 The 3 friends that I’ve kept from my old city are 1-freshly married, 2, overseas & in places it’s impossible to find Internet cafes, and 3, just found her bf of 17yrs (had been together since we were 13 in school), and they had to kids together. The asshole said he’d rather leave my friend because the slag he was with let’s him takes drugs whereas my friend does now (SOMEHOW, he got hooked on speed (he’s a truck driver so that’s well entrained in their industry, so maybe he got offered some one day and he jus hasn’t been able to stop since…my friend tried EVERYTHING. She sacrificed sooo much to try and help him but he was a lost cause. AND YOU KNOW WHAT, that “slag” I mentioned…is currently 8months pregnant. We worked it out and it seems as though she got knocked up on the time my friend walked in 😕 Karma is a bitch lol!
    So sad though. His and her family were entrained within each other. 6brothers, all with gfs, the parents and uncles are all pretty lose so there was always shenanigans going on or a BBQ etc – but they were all each other’s “social lives” …none of them had their own separate lives.
    Ugh, i don’t get it.

    They’re all bogans anyway so I cbf trying to work them out. I’m just sad for her loss and her two kids (one of them my god kid)’s DAD. He’s dicing with danger.

    😂 🤦🏼‍♀️😂🤦🏼‍♀️😂🤦🏼‍♀️😂🤦🏼‍♀️ why am I telling you this? I can’t stop talking. I must be so lonely and I don’t even let myself realise it sometimes….buT it just spews out of my thumbs sometimes ☺️😔

    Ps bogan = red neck…maybe🤔
    A bogan is the aussiest Aussie possible. A total parody of ourselves – but they are for real.

    in reply to: Little help for a newbie? #79230

    I’m just wondering what country you’re in?

    Also, as the other member mentioned – if you have an assistant, let them assist you with this. If you explain your situation to them then they will understand this is important (eventhough it’s not exclusively work related – it CAN affect your work indirectly so you two should try and tackle it asap)

    If you’re in Australia I could help you.

    Otherwise I suggest you see your usual doctor, OR your psych that diagnosed you with ADHD, and tell them you want to start trying medication… I was given a prescription the very first day I was diagnosed. So glad I did that.
    I didn’t seem to have any trouble with tests etc.

    Make the appt for 3months time. That way, you’ll at least have a back up incase you can’t get what you want by then.
    The 3months away appt can be your “plan b” while you’re searching elsewhere, but I suggest you at least get your name on that list so you don’t lose any more time.

    My name is Serena by the way 🙂
    Nice to meet you.

    in reply to: Telephone Avoidance #76937

    Hey! Thank you so much for bringing up this topic. It’s made my day. (my comment is down at the bottom)

    (I’ve yelled at my family too btw. They know to just NOT call me anymore. Text or email (so I know what they want) or NOTHING… I feel so harsh and sad about it.

    Has anyone offered you any information on ways to help you with this? If so – please let ne known! Even though I know I’ll probably never change…I at least want to TRY.

    Thanks for listening. Again, I appreciate your time and your strength in posting this issue. Very commendable. I’m proud of you.

    in reply to: Telephone Avoidance #76935

    Hey! Thank you so much for bringing up this topic. It’s made my day. (my comment is down at the bottom)

    Has anyone offered you any information on ways to help you with this? If so – please let ne known! Even though I know I’ll probably never change…I at least want to TRY.

    Thanks for listening. Again, I appreciate your time and your strength in posting this issue. Very commendable. I’m proud of you.

    in reply to: Telephone Avoidance #76934

    Hey! Thank you so much for bringing up this topic. It’s made my day. (my comment is down at the bottom)

    Has anyone offered you any information on ways to help you with this? If so – please let ne known! Even though I know I’ll probably never change…I at least want to TRY.

    Thanks for listening. Again, I appreciate your time and your strength in posting this issue. Very commendable. I’m proud of you.

    • This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by bunneyoo.
    • This reply was modified 4 years, 4 months ago by bunneyoo.
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