bnunesclsi

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  • in reply to: Teen admittedly quit trying at school #77344
    bnunesclsi
    Participant

    All of these stories are so similar to ours, as I’m sure to everyone else. My story/horror show with school basically ended last year (end of 6th grade 4/2017) when my son was just so fed up with everything (stress, anxiety, bullying, no friends, no teachers who liked him etc.) he just stopped working and put his head down on his desk. He then learned that if he gets in trouble, for whatever reason, he doesn’t care because he will be sent home most likely, and that’s what he wants. He started getting very depressed as well as extremely anxious. He was worried about if I die and who will take care of him because he feels alone in this world without me. So that was my breaking point. I removed him from school and am now homeschooling him. (Principal of his middle school hated him and would never like him, which was obvious.) I looked for out of district placement but there were none for us and our district’s special ed department is pathetic, so I said NO MORE! I am taking control of my son’s life, emotions, self-esteem, ambition, education, and most of all health!. Basically, school was ruining him, from inside and out. I felt bad for how long I basically made him go to school and kept lying telling him, saying this year will be better, this year will be the best yet! It never happened! So now, he no longer has to put up with bullying, not having friends and always being in trouble. He is lonely (but he lives with me, dad, 22 y/o sister and 15 y/o brother in 9th), but I am working on social things (we’re getting a cocktail in two weeks which he is going to take care of). Nicer weather is coming and am looking into horseback riding and maybe some therapeutic/social events. But being lonely from no socialization “of school” with mean kids and teachers, is way better than being continuously put down, socially excluded, bullied, punished for basically defending himself, and just be so depressed and anxious and not care about anything anymore. I don’t have all the answers, but I do know that taking him out of school was the best thing for him at this time in his life. We are hoping to try high school in a 2019/2020 because it will be a new school, new principal, teachers, kids, building, etc., and will be a new beginning. He will be more mature, have relaxed his anxiety and depression (both school initiated). Like I said, I don’t have answers, I just have our story and wanted to share. I know I feel a little better when I read that sooo many other families are going through the same thing…..which also gets me mad because if there are so many of “our kids” out there, why is school so freakin difficult for teachers and admin to accommodate and support our kids!!!

    in reply to: Teen admittedly quit trying at school #76391
    bnunesclsi
    Participant

    I could have written this story myself, as I feel I have lived this life too. My son, 7th grade now, has learned helplessness and learned that if he just refuses work, gets himself in trouble by yelling, saying a bad word, or whatever, he will get to leave the situation…and he is correct! This has happened so many times in the past two years, we are homeschooling now. My son, ASD, ADHD, dysgraphia, anxiety, has been lost in the cracks in the fact that he has always been the same kid that needs a lot of help and supports, but has NEVER received them. He didn’t get an IEP until 5th grade, being denied by my request (not the school) starting in 2nd grade! He too has been very strong in math and it was his only thing he enjoyed in school. Well, when algebra was introduced, he could not do it! He just didn’t understand algebra at all (especially the “x” in equations, etc). That was it for him. He felt that he was just so stupid and had nothing left for him in school, so he just gave up. Stopped doing work, putting his head down on his desk, every class, crying, feeling sick, going to the nurse, not wanting to be in school anymore. He felt no teachers liked him, not principals liked him, no kids liked him. And oh ya, he was, and has been, bullied basically every single year, ending up in trouble for defending himself and getting suspended every year! The school district has failed my son!!! And I am very angry about it! Supreme Court case came too late for us, as my son had already turned into a different kid now, and I feel he would be different if he had gotten the help and supports he deserved in school!!! So I look for answers also and am so sorry you have gone through such a hard difficult time. It’s a hard life to live!!! It’s truly not fair! I’m so angry and not sure if I will ever get over this!

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