My Forum Comments
May 28, 2018 at 6:02 pm in reply to: What to do if undiagnosed and suspecting, but your family won’t listen? #85055PeregrineParticipant
Even without a formal diagnosis, and even without any kind of support, there are things you can start doing now to help cope with your ADHD brain. Even if you don’t have ADHD they will benefit you.
The best things you can do to normalize are: Get Good Sleep, Maintain a Healthy Diet (Avoid sugar like the plague), Exercise Periodically, Get Organized (how is highly personalized). Those are smart things for anyone to do, but if you have ADHD and you want to be successful, they are essential.
Develop habits, and stick to them. You need to learn how to be neat, how to clean, how to cook, how to do the dishes. I’ll be the first to admit, it is literally painful for me to stop whatever I’m doing to do any one of those 4 chores, but they still have to get done.
ADHD isn’t really a disease, and there’s no cure for it. It’s apparently genetic, like red hair? We just cope with a brain that loves to shove us down rabbit holes. Medication kind of helps with this, sometimes. But really a healthy lifestyle is vastly more important. Your mom may be wrong about you not being ADHD, but she’s not really wrong about the other stuff. If you have ADHD and you’re trying as hard as normal people, then you probably aren’t trying hard enough. If a neurotypical person solves a problem with a straight progression from A to B an ADHD person gets distracted 5 times, forgets what they were doing twice and eventually finds the answer.
I went to school for physics, got A’s, then B’s, Then C’s and D’s then a couple E’s, then I was like “I’m not good at this… how do I get a job with this degree”. Now I’m an engineer, I learned a lot when I was getting those E’s and now I use that in everyday work stuff.
Anywho, don’t worry too much. As long as you’re not hurting people, there’s not much in life you can’t come back from. Also, the desire to be better is the first step the rest is just figuring out how.
That’s all folks.PeregrineParticipant
First of all, I’m not an expert in anything below is based on personal experience and consequent biases.
That said, Congratulations on your ADHD diagnosis! Welcome to the club, it kind of sucks. To make things worse medication is not a cure-all, and even with stimulants, we still have ADHD. Which I like to view less as a disease and more as a statement of my physiology that manifests itself in every aspect of my life. I’ve been diagnosed for 6 years and I’m still trying to find ways to act like a normal person, and to keep up at work. I genuinely hope its easy enough for you to do so in a month!
“I was given two weeks from today with a long list of task to show improvement on or else. Is this not harassment/discrimination?” How is it? Your employer wants you to be an effective employee, they’ve even gone through the trouble of making a list, and giving you some time to improve, albeit not that much time. In my world, a list and a deadline are gold for motivation, its the things without deadlines or that have no structure that I never seem to make any progress on.
It’s easy to think that they are targeting you because of ADHD or whatever. Ultimately, we’re not excluded from being accountable, as you seem to realize, just because our brains work differently than other people’s.
From an employer’s perspective,
– Employee A gets paid X to produce Y, but is only producing Y-Z.
So they ask how can we fix this?
– Option A: try to help employee Y to increase their productivity.
– Option B: Replace employee Y with some random new employee that we hope will eventually be more effective.
From their standpoint letting you go and finding someone else is not very appealing, especially if you have the potential to improve. From the little you’ve said, they’re giving you a chance, so why not own it?
With me it’s usually either hyper-focus, impossible to start, or impossible to stay on track. So, if you dislike what you do for a living so much that you can never focus on it, maybe you should look at a career change? It’s not realistic to think we can do a job that we don’t like doing.
Don’t give up! and don’t let the wrist slaps get you down. Just own your productivity, in all likelihood, your employers don’t care that you have ADHD, and they probably don’t even know what that is or means. They just want you to perform at their expectations. If their expectations are unreasonable, have a conversation with them. If that doesn’t work, then maybe you don’t want to work for them anyways?
In the words of some Greek dude “Know Thyself”!
Best of luck!
- This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by Peregrine.