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  • in reply to: Wrong career #98122

    Hi Steve,

    Kudos to you for recognizing early that radiology might not be the best career for you and seeking insight. That is a huge accomplishment!

    I am a career changer too and an adult diagnosed with ADHD, inattentive type, in my 50s after my two kids were diagnosed. My 50’s! The diagnosis came after I was burnt out from 20+ years as design executive expected to produce new collections on time, run a staff and keep my department organized which I did but what stress!

    I am soon graduating with my MSW and hope to do family therapy with children and families with developmental disorders (such as ADHD, ASD). Three years of graduate study and the investment but I hope to have another 20+ of rewarding work to go.

    Dr.Mukund Sargur, MD, who commented above gives some very sound advice – the field needs more people who have empathy for what you are going through combined with the insight to help them understand their challenges. You might look into coaching programs which do not have a huge price tag or long course of study and specialize in working with folks who have ADHD.

    Best of luck!


    in reply to: Son is being excluded from field trip #85049

    I agree with lots the other posters have said including the fact if your child’s IEP/504 states they will be included in the general education curriculum the school must make accommodations to support him inside and out of the classroom during school hours. As someone who is a parent of two kids with ADHD as well as a K-8 school social worker, I will also say, while ideally no child should be excluded solely because of a disability, it sounds like the school is trying to be realistic about their resources while weighing the education and safety needs of staff and other neurotypical students along with those of your son, and if you are available, feel it would make everyone’s experience better and easier (emphasis on easier), including your son’s, if you can go. This does not mean it is the best long term solution.

    I’m curious to know more about what behavior the school is seeing as well as your son’s age? With ADHD this behavior might range from frequent reminders to stay with group, attend to docent/guide, keep hands to self, keep self and others safe. I’ve been asked to go on field trips as a social worker to support students who have behavioral challenges and needed to keep 100% of my attention on the child at all times to insure they did not endanger self and others because of weak impulse control. On one elementary trip to the Highline in NYC it took most of my time to make sure the child (2nd grade) was safely on the path rather than climbing on the elevated train track railing and falling to the street below or ripping out and destroying the flowers and plants – both of which were attempted multiple times. It’s hard to imagine a parent keeping track of a group of kids plus one child with such challenges and I am a social worker and knew the child. It would have been a lot to ask a parent who was not familiar with his needs to keep him safe.

    So all of this said, if your child needs extra accommodations for field trips, bring this up either at the next scheduled meeting with school support staff or ask for a meeting. You can document times when you are asked to attend events or field trips and ask the school keep track of any needs your son has that would enable him to attend field trips without you and when it is time to revisit his IEP/504 plan write these additional supports into the plan for the following year. Bottom line, I would inquire more about why the school feels this way, what kind of support your son needs and work with them. From a school staff perspective, it makes all the difference when a particularly challenging child who we all want to see succeed, has a family who supports them at home and at school – whether this is validating what the school experiences and asking for more accommodations or in the mean time, going along on field trips or being “on-call” at the school during state testing – every little bit goes a long way.

    All the best to you!

    in reply to: They called CPS on us! (Long… please bear with me) #55091

    So sorry to hear you are having such a struggle with folks in your new community. I’m not sure I agree with the poster who said your son might have PTSD and don’t want you to be alarmed thinking he does. You don’t mention any trauma he has experienced that would lead to a PTSD diagnosis. Also, the tickling games are developmentally normal childhood behavior, rough play, etc. Not so much for a 5 year old, but for the older kids. Our son is 13 and going into high school this year and has gotten into trouble over the years for things due to a lack of impulse control. Most recently was getting excited when a group of friends were rough housing and throwing a backpack at his friend, hitting his front tooth and breaking it. Our son felt horrible to have injured his friend and it was a sobering lesson in just how much he needs to watch his behavior.

    What has worked best for us is mindfulness training for him – similar to CBT or DBT, it is a behavioral therapy that helps him interrupt impulsive behavior before something goes amiss. Talk therapy has helped him somewhat in dealing with his emotions and he went for a year and a half when he was about your son’s age but the mindfulness gives him simple tools he can use to help him in a range of situations.

    And I most agree with the poster who said to remember your son is actually around 6 years old in terms of his social skills. I’ve told my ex-husband this many times and it helps him cope with our son’s behavior. Having supervised play dates at your house only and at homes where you know and trust the parents is key.

    Lastly, having a child with ADHD is incredibly stressful as a parent. We also have a daughter with ADHD who is 9 so rarely get a break. What kinds of things are you doing for your own self care? Can you take a bit of time out each day in the morning and or evening to do something relaxing? I practice mindfulness myself, knit, and take time out away from the family with the door closed and a good book. Do you have close friends who can support you, hobbies, things you do apart from your family like hobbies, music or sports? Taking care of yourself is key when more is required of you as a parent.

    Good luck and let us know how it is going!

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