My Forum Comments
Even if you can bear the verbal abuse from your ADHD husband, I promise you, your little ones can’t. I know from personal experience. My father was an untreated, undiagnosed bipolar and his rages were terrifying. I now have ADHD, OCD, BIPOLAR, and I suffer from what is called Complex PTSD. The way one gets Complex PTSD is by growing up in a “war zone” from a very early age. Parents screaming and out of control is terrifying to little kids. The longer they are exposed to this, the more damage is done. If the abuse and fear continue for years, the brain actually short circuits and it is not wired like a normal brain. With regular PTSD,a person knows there is a baseline normal to return to. With Complex PTSD, there IS no normal baseline to return to because they only know chaos. Complex PTSD means you can be triggered by a smell, a sound, seeing someone who looks like your abuser (and yes, a man raging, screaming, and out of control is abusive to a child).
With regular PTSD, there is a hope for recovery, with Complex PTSD there is not.
I’m so reassured by everybody’s posts. I have used sticky notes forever! And yes, I have written get gas on them at times.
I once found a pair of socks in my freezer. Fortunately, they were clean. I, too have had the incredibly annoying phenomenon of the disappearing thingie you JUST had in your hand! I was also very relieved to know there are others like me who are wiped out after going to the doctor, socializing with friends, or dealing with convoluted legal issues like negotiating your health care contract, paying the bills… and then we are just drained and it can take up to two or three days to recharge.
On a brighter note, I liked the suggestion to wear something with pockets so you can keep up with your stuff. I appreciate the input.
Here are a few things I do that work for me:
1.I write things down right away as soon as it crosses my mind. My steering wheel is covered in sticky notes.
2. I put a hair scrunchie and a caliper on my keychain. That way I never set them down when I am out and about. You can’t leave your keys anywhere if they’re tied to your wrist! I use the caliper to attach my keys to the metal fasteners on my purse (which is a cross body bag because I can’t leave it behind if I’m wearing it. Also, I am sure to clip my keys to my purse as soon as I get home. That way there’s no frantic rush searching for my keys.
3. I am very visual so I paper clip all my appointment cards in my paper planner. Then I transfer that info onto my wall calendar. The final step is I use brightly colored paper and a fat marker and I write the Month, the day of the week, the time, and what the appointment is for. Then I tape them by date on the wall beside my door so that I see the reminders every day. And when I remember, I set the alarm on my watch!
Thanks for the dietary tips. I went to stay with a vegan friend and because there was nothing but healthy food available I ate it. It took some getting used to, but when I got home and stepped on the scale and saw I had dropped ten pounds I was in! It can be challenging as you said, and I noticed that lately when I sweat, I smell like tofu! 🙂 It is true that eliminating chemicals, high fructose corn syrup,msg(which by the way is not so much a flavor enhancer as it is actually an additive meant to stimulate the hunger signals to your brain. That’s why that chip commercial so smugly says betcha can’t eat just one! I still fall off the wagon now and then but for the most part my food and even my snacks don’t have chemicals that will short circuit my brain. If I have chips, the ingredients are potatoes,oil,sea salt. Now THAT’S a chip that I betcha can eat just one! 🙂
I am finding out that a great deal of my reactions to different drugs and/or drug cocktails have everything to do with the doctor I am working with and how responsive he/she is when I say something is off and just not working for me. I’ve had doctors who put me on certain meds and when I told them I did not do well on them, they insisted I give it time. I may be the patient, but if a drug makes me gain 25 pound in 2 months, or another makes me so super manic that I want tho rip the skin off my face or bang my head against the wall, then my doctor HAS to listen. If he doesn’t then he’s a bad doctor and I fire him and move on. I always try to remember that I am the consumer and he is being paid to provide a service. If a plumber “fixed” my sink and it still leaked then he is a bad plumber. Just because someone went to med school it doesn’t necessarily mean they are good in practice. I can read about fixing a car all day long but until I rip an engine apart and put it back together and it actually runs well, then I may have the certificates on the wall, but it doesn’t mean that I know what I am doing. I learned a long time ago-a good doctor isn’t afraid of questions and if he doesn’t feel like he has to discuss his deck decisions about your care with you, he thinks he’s God and I don’t think God belongs in a therapist’s office. That’s what church is for. Tell your doctor what is going on with your vyvanse. You may need a mood stabilizer or some other helping addition to your needs to fix the problem.