Benevolent

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  • in reply to: Meltdowns #76220
    Benevolent
    Participant

    I hate them, they are so hard to control, I do the same thing at work wth the bathroom etc. I think it’s over stimulation I give myself, I use to look for reasons, or hope for a reason to be pissed, so I could just hit the button to just handle it my way.. now with trying hard to hold back and not let this Halen as often, because it always feels like I brought a natural disaster to take on something frustrating.. Which is embarrassing, then anxiety etc over hoping it wasn’t seen as me making a giant mountain of frustration… It sucks, but for me it’s like a tic I guess it just has to come out, the more suppressed the more stress the hotter the Meltdown.. ^^ that was a lot of I’s , feel like a narcissist now :/.. don’t feel bad for taking a break. That’s anticipation waiting for some type of change. You probably like surprises, maybe the feelings are your mind taking hold of it to keep you interested..? Lost where I was going with this, phone typing is hard on here.. We aren’t perfectly able to control all these things all the time, that takes up so much resources and either there’s a lucky outcome or a big feeling of can’t/ failure, manage what you can, you’ll get better and better, just keep your mind on what it is you truly want and over do it so it stops bothering you or let it be maybe and let it out through an aggravating task before work. You gotta remember man they’re going to happen if they don’t, than your cured and well… that would probably be a meltdown in itself. My inspiration for this is think of a chameleon maybe it’s a change of color because of a change or transition that was sudden that you weren’t prepared for, I’m probably going to far out on that one, but it makes sense in a odd way. The best thing to think about is transitions are rough, because the mind is literally already doing it alot with everything.. I call it overload, it leads to hyperfocus for me sometimes. Or a big breakdown full of negative talk too work up to motivating and completing something left field unintentionally. Hope that you will find something that helps some how in this wall of text, if not, I know you’ll find a solution some how.

    John

    in reply to: Living with ADHD & Depression-will I ever feel happy? #76219
    Benevolent
    Participant

    This resonates with me alot.. I am use to a lot of negative energy / feedback and barriers or obstacles that make me feel stuck and caged or boredom takes a full swing at my head and makes getting up from a fall impossible feeling.

    The thing is once you identify what’s draining you, either try and plant a seed of change or take full advantage of hammering it head on. The world’s a blessing and can feel like a curse, the disorder is the same way, balance is key.

    Note to yourself there’s no right or wrong way, sometimes the feelings that taking everything in and just letting it absorb you will force you to counter balance.. Depression is a rough log to stand on, especially with adhd’s rushing waters trying to keep you distracted with depression.

    I may not be helping at all I’m sorry, I am trying and letting you know your not alone it is a constant struggle I personally have come to just accept… Think about your quirks and what makes you, you. Find your center, go for this you’ve got it, we’ve all made it this far, things always get better somehow, time is the enemy, or the challenge..

    Man, hopefully this is appropriate I’m not trying to minimize at all, that feels like crap. Your unique, were unique, embrace it, grieve over it, accept it and..

    Your loved no matter what. Alright I don’t want to over do it, you kinda got me connected to this one.. maybe some music similar to your feelings can help, it makes me feel alot better listening to some one musically to imagine and decompress + destress to

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