beccacathleen

My Forum Comments

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  • in reply to: I get frustrated with fake adhd #136777
    beccacathleen
    Participant

    I have so much compassion for you and your frustration. So many of the comments here resonate.
    The struggle is real. But 10% Population is a reasonable estimate in this day and age. I do not believe it is over diagnosed. Yes, there are kids diagnosed erroneously because they have a neighboring spectrum struggle that can mirror symptoms.. I posit that the providers misdiagnosing are those with less background in these. This is happening because our healthcare system is under resourced and, Medicaid only pays for limited resources. I bring this up because kids who are in the Medicaid system are disproportionately experiencing toxic stress, trauma, and adverse childhood experiences and ptsd as a result. Those factors are most common in multigenerational poverty and increase your vulnerability to a predisposition to, and early wiring for, ADHD, Anxiety and SPD. Which all can be mistaken for one another. Especially ADHD and Anxiety.
    So, if economic conditions are worsening for the average person, and families in poverty 50 years ago were better off than they are today, then yes, we will continue to see a rise in toxic stress and aces because families struggle to meet their basic needs more now than in 1970. Meaning we are seeing more multigenerational poverty which creates deficits in nurture and opportunity which in my humble opinion, based on what I read and research i have referenced in papers, creates a delay in cognitive development and executive functioning development so, naturally we will see a rise in ALL spectrum disorders as we continue to see people struggle to meet their basic needs.

    What I think we should be frustrated with, is the systems that do not elevate their game to better serve all people. We have corporations who cannot see value in those of us who are wired differently, government who cannot create a healthy for profit healthcare system or public option, and almost non-existent social services to adequately support families in poverty to reduce barriers to care for the most vulnerable populations. And not just healthcare, I’m talking child care for single moms who work night shifts to make enough to pay rent, leaving a child 9 yes old, home alone every night with unlimited access to screens. I can point to several families who make sacrifices like this.
    And these kids are struggling. And lonely.

    We also have a society that simply put, only values fame, perfection and media ready lifestyles.

    I was recently laid off. Not because of my ADHD, but because leadership is impulsive and lacks focus, resulting in not seeing the big picture and integrity and value people bring to the team – specifically they don’t value the contributions of administrative roles. Only revenue generation roles. I saved them in 9 months, more than double my pay and benefits for all of 2019. I paid for myself and I was still let go where others were retained who hadn’t even made a sale in a revenue generating position. Think about that. I had quantifiable results. They did not. They kept their job simply because they might potentially make the company money.. even when the sales persons had not generated 3% of what they had cost the company in 2 years. That’s right. You read that right… 4 quarters of wages and benefits resulting in less than 80K in total gross profit. And me as an executive assistant- saving them 153K in 9 months, well that’s was irrelevant.

    So, life is just unfair. Really unfair and shitty. But I have to believe that I am worthy of better. After all, I give better than I usually get.

    ADHD is not a joke. It’s pretty normal. And your struggles are normal – even for the neuro typical folks.

    When I feel the way you do, I recognize that I am in a state of compassion fatigue and I need self care and my tribe to care for me.

    This is me caring for you ❤️

    in reply to: Was on the verge of panic today, from people talking. #112054
    beccacathleen
    Participant

    Yes, I experience this professionally as well as in my family life. Attempting a discussion with my spouse, one kid pipes up, then the other kiddo… it’s total overload and short circuit. I try really hard to get through it but I often just cave and embrace the fact that I’m not going to get anything more out of it. The angst it creates makes it nearly impossible to redirect folks to what is important. Sitting through board meetings when this happens is torture.

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