anngower54

My Forum Comments

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • in reply to: Dismissed by my GP #103158

    anngower54
    Participant

    I’m 20 and just got diagnosed with adhd. I’ve been diagnosed with multiple forms of depression, PTSD,anxiety,and a lot of other things before but no one caught the ADHD because most people are highly misinformed on it. A lot of other things are nearly identical as well (such as ptsd). My current therapist is great and actually make me feel comfortable enough to talk to her openly. When I went to my drs they scheduled me with a nurse practitioner who commonly fills in and she didnt listen to a word I said. “Its a disease only young kids get. You’ve never been diagnosed before so you cant have it” when I demanded to talk to my actual dr who’s treated me since birth she went “Holy S*** that makes so much sense!!!” Yeah that’s what I thought too when my therapist described it and how it screwed my childhood.

    Personally I think the best thing you can do is go to a therapist that specializes in adhd first.They will be able to help you get on meds. If you need them and learn effective ways to manage your life.

    If you need help finding one call your insurance company directly and ask.

    I cant remember the technical names but generally theres ones who do talk therapy and ones who can prescribe meds. You want to go to one and get a proper diagnosed first. Medicine is never a fix all and IMO you should always be in talk therapy before and right when you start meds. Most drs want to get people in and out while therapists have a scheduled time to sit down and help you (usually for an hour once or twice a week).

  • in reply to: Anyone else’s child say “Um” all the time? #99694

    anngower54
    Participant

    I have add and for me I say um a lot because my mind moves way faster than my mouth and i end up having to try and backtrack to remember what i was trying to say. Or sometimes when i get overwhelmed and am struggling to stay present and focused. Therapy might help at least diagnose why shes having trouble and point you in the right direction

  • in reply to: How to motivate college-age child with ADD & depression #98081

    anngower54
    Participant

    As someone with ADHD, college is pure torture. You need to find his passion. I highly reccomend 1/2 to 3/4 load of classes so he has enough time to recoup between and get stuff done. I’d reccomend setting him up with a counselor who specializes in adhd generally they can point you to someone who can help him with his classes. The only way you’re going to get him to graduate is to make sure to appeal to his adhd. You need to remember we dont get motivated by the same things you do. Personally, competition and somehow making it interesting always drove me the most but it’s different for everyone. You sent him away and while 30 min isnt that far hes essentially on his own. He probably needs help, someone to make sure to set and keep a schedule, help him make sure he can set up his work/studying to get it done in a way that appeals to him. Hes never been on his own before and I feel like that’s a huge setup for failure.

    For everyone else who’s kid doesn’t wanna go to classes, etc. Make them! Dont throw them into a full load to begin with but have them take general courses and either do a lot of research andhelp them or find specialists who can. We need a good kick in the ass sometimes to get stuff done. Just make sure they know you love them and want what’s best for them.


  • anngower54
    Participant

    I’m fairly certain he has something in addition to adhd. I was never diagnosed as a kid and while I did have episodes generally with adhd the anger comes and goes quickly. I generally would stop within 15 min unless ruled up again. One thing that greatly helped me was getting some of the aggressive energy out with exercise, then a warm bath and I could focus better and wouldn’t have outbursts as frequently or badly.


  • anngower54
    Participant

    I’m sorry to hear your family isn’t supportive, my family is the same way. Most people unless they have it or know someone who does have it and has done research doesn’t understand how badly it can impact your life and unfortunately Being a guy tends to make people even less supportive. The internet is a GREAT resource as long as you go to appropriate sites that dont spew unresearched “facts”. My family was completely insensitive and kept complaining about how things I did wasnt “normal” (newsflash, this is my normal) and it took dragging them into a therapist to explain it to them for them to tone it down a bit. If you do get diagnosed I highly suggest a therapist that specializes in ADHD because while medication helps a lot, it isn’t a cure all. They help a lot in learning to cope and thrive in neurotypical society. Best of luck to you!

  • in reply to: Mom on the verge…I'm not alone, right? #85414

    anngower54
    Participant

    I would write a list down of his behaviors and the root cause of you can and talk to the therapist to make sure hes been diagnosed correctly. As a last resort extreme solution, take everything away. I mean literally everything but his bed. Lock him out of the kitchen and rest of the house completely if you can. You may have to clean his room to accomplish this (you shouldn’t have to, I know) but the point is a complete reset. Show him these things are a privilege. When he has to start asking you for every little thing he needs (annoying for you I know) make sure before you give him something else (example another drink or snack, more clothes) that hes put the trash in the trash and previous dirty clothes in the hamper. After a couple weeks of him not arguing slowly build up what hes allowed to have and if he stops doing what hes supposed to or argues about cleaning it up, take it back away. Do not yell, do not argue. Just take him to the list of rules and tell him that he didnt do what he was supposed to so you’re taking it away for now but he can still earn it back then walk away. It’s an extreme thing to do but sometimes you just gotta go back to square 1 and build good habits

  • in reply to: I’m trying but I’m done. #85412

    anngower54
    Participant

    As someone with ADHD I would like to say I know you’re trying but telling helps no one. I remember being a kid and while it seemed like I never wanted
    To help or do my homework it literally was like my brain was stuck in a fog and I couldn’t everytime someone yelled at me my brain would scream at me that I was worthless and that they would be better off without me…. every time I was punished I felt like I was defective and just wrong. I got so bad i was removed from my father’s home… to a normal child yelling may not be considered abuse but with a child who has adhd it really is. I ended up in a home with a women who actually understood adhd and she found out what motivates me – interest and competition. She would find ways to make cleaning fun and would sit down and have competitions with me as to who could complete the homework faster while getting it all right and have random prizes for winning. (Usually nothing big, or that even cost any money. Like an extra hour of tv or a piece of my favorite candy) Yelling wont help your child,its only going to make him worse. You need to find out what motivates him and use it to get him engaged.

Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)