amandajdowns21

My Forum Comments

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  • in reply to: Pre-Marriage Concerns and Guidance #89201
    amandajdowns21
    Participant

    Honestly I agree with your therapist. I am the non-ADHD partner in my relationship and I often feel like you do and trust me it doesn’t get easier once you are married. If she is unwilling or unable to make the necessary changes to make this work it won’t work. Just think in 5 or 10 years you may decide to add children or more pets and you will still do a brunt of the work. If she truly loves you and wants to make it work she would be hearing you and your concerns and working on her issues. It sounds like you are doing the work to have a strong relationship, but is she? If you aren’t ready to leave yet I would have an open and frank conversation about this and she if she finally hears you.

    in reply to: Husband is a great source of stress #89189
    amandajdowns21
    Participant

    I have read your post and I was all set to be on your side, but your son is 20. I think you both need to met in the middle here. I know from my watching my husband and son that your compensating for dad being so harsh and controlling isn’t helping your son either. ADHD is an explanation for behaviors not a reason to not take responsibility for them. When you catch your son in a lie does the why really matter anymore? He needs to know it won’t be tolerated and that consequences exist. As for timeliness he needs to find tools or a method that works for him and he needs to follow through. Unless you are planning to be his brain forever he needs to develop these skills. Life is great at teaching these lessons if you just let it happen.

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