Allison Russo

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Viewing 15 posts - 211 through 225 (of 248 total)
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  • in reply to: I work really hard, love my career, but keep getting fired #41012
    Allison Russo
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user cliftonprince in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    putting in lots of effort but none of it is paying off / trying really hard, much harder than anyone else around me seems to be trying / not able to control other people’s reactions, which are often inexplicably adverse and irrational / getting less reward but doing much more work, than other people / knowing that I HAVE TO put in so much so much effort and again and again I see the injustices of how the rewards don’t come to me / keep on losing jobs even though I know my work is really up to very high standards, and even though co-workers or supervisors never seem to have problems with my actual work product /

    The above set of ideas could come straight from my life and career, too. I know how you feel. I don’t mean to belittle it, but, it’s very highly probable that it’s just ADHD, really.

    My quick suggestion is, stop trying to be a “farmer” type, and learn about trying to be a “hunter” type. We have to make a living, in this world, but the livings that are afforded to us have been invented these days by people who don’t have ADHD. Well? No WONDER we don’t fit in!

    This is a metaphor from the work of Thom Hartmann, the farmer-versus-hunter thing. I don’t really agree 100% with the whole thesis, but there is a Wikipedia page about it where you can start reading about it, if you’re not familiar with it. It has some major weaknesses, but it’s a great starting point. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunter_vs._farmer_hypothesis

    in reply to: I work really hard, love my career, but keep getting fired #41011
    Allison Russo
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user InconsonantDabbler in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    No matter how nice I am or how much effort I put into communicating with those on my team, I always seem to get stuck with the knife in the back. Am I really to blame for the reaction my manager had to a simple email? I don’t get it at all

    in reply to: I work really hard, love my career, but keep getting fired #41010
    Allison Russo
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user Trakfloater07 in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    Wow this hits home. I honestly have been through the exact same thing. I feel like I am generally a very nice and pleasant person but in every job I have there are multiple people that have issues with me. I try to go out of my way to be as polite, and selfless employee but it seriously is like I think on a different planet than everyone else. After a my last firing it honestly makes me never want to work, but I have a wife and 2 kids to feed. I wish we could sit and have coffee because it sounds like you go through the same thing I do 🙁

    in reply to: I work really hard, love my career, but keep getting fired #41008
    Allison Russo
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user sarah444 in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    I had that problem too the way to solve it is find jobs where you work independently. Making own schedule etc that works much better for people with add and jobs that you enjoy doing.

    in reply to: Does anyone here talk to themselves? #41052
    Allison Russo
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user MindRepeatingThat? in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    I do this too, especially if I’m extremely stressed out. I work at a carwash, and since all my attention is focused on cleaning and whatever I’m thinking about I tend to forget my other coworkers are around.

    in reply to: I work really hard, love my career, but keep getting fired #41007
    Allison Russo
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user adhdmomma in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    Your best bet to resolve this would be to work with a therapist and/or ADHD Coach. They can help you walk through details of your communications, identify where you might have been misunderstood, and help you create strategies going forward to prevent these communication issues in the future.

    Penny
    ADDconnect Moderator, Author on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen boy with ADHD, LDs, and autism

    in reply to: I work really hard, love my career, but keep getting fired #41005
    Allison Russo
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user InconsonantDabbler in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    Thank you, Penny. I happen to believe that my meds work pretty well for me, and I think I have excellent social skills.(lol).I have no problem working with others or making friends or following along.

    The problem seems to be, that numerous attempt of mine to express concern, or ask questions for my curiosity seems to backfire, and the reaction is usually a strong one from the other parties involved.

    Either I keep running into folks who, without giving me a chance to explain my intention, take drastic actions( many a times without so much as a warning), Or I still have serious communication issues, I am probably unaware of.

    I get my dental cleaning regularly done, so it isn’t that I have terrible breath or that I am off-putting, physically at least. I don’t believe I am rude, and honestly, on many of these short gigs, I have observed people who are rude more times than not, yet can avoid not getting fired.

    Maybe an example would work better in this case. In one particular job, I had started work about a month later than other new hires in my training class. Right from my first day on the job, my lead decided to throw me into the same training classes as the other new hires. Not a single issue discussed all that second day made sense to me. Matter of fact, I could not stop my legs shaking(restless leg) throughout the sessions, and it seemed the training was in some foreign language. I popped, at least, 50mg of propranolol to keep myself from exploding. I quietly requested she allow me some time to read some documentations on the project – help me do some catching up before jumping back into the training classes. She nodded, and I took that to mean that she did receive the message. However, on day 3, She demanded that I continue in the training along with the others. I felt disrespected. So, I again stressed how torturous the first two days had been for me. Seemed she was convinced this was a tug-of-war.

    I was surprised at the reaction but knowing that I had so much work to catch up on, I asked my manager instead for permission to focus on reading documentations. He agreed with me. But of course, the Lead did inform him of the situation, and it almost seemed her version included a statement or two about me not wanting to be on the team – I did not like my team members. I felt I was back in elementary school again—Why did she go that far? Why did she have to take offense with me trying to catch up so I can gain from at least some of the training going on?

    I, of course, tried to clear things up, but it was all reported as a strike against me. The second strike was the email I had sent requesting more information on the project rumored to be in the pipeline.

    Why do I keep running into these things? Why do I keep making these mistakes? Does this have anything to do with ADHD or is it simply that I need to learn just to go with the flow( Not speak up, or be myself)?

    In the past two years, I have lost over five jobs, and it is taking a toll on my mind.I am beginning to feel more and more like a fraud, with each loss.

    in reply to: I work really hard, love my career, but keep getting fired #41004
    Allison Russo
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user adhdmomma in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    There are a lot of politics to navigate when working in an office. That kind of subtlety can be tough for individuals with ADHD, who are often very concrete, black-and-white thinkers. For example, to you, the email was purely inquisitive. For your boss, he has to wonder why you are seeking other projects/assignments—if you aren’t happy on his team, your work may begin to suffer.

    Here’s some expert advice that may help too:
    https://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/7795.html

    Penny
    ADDconnect Moderator, Author on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen boy with ADHD, LDs, and autism

    in reply to: Does anyone here talk to themselves? #41051
    Allison Russo
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user lise-Mari in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    I totally get this. I talk to myself all the time. It keeps me calm and focused. If I try to think without talking out loud my ADHD kicks in full force and the next thing I know, I’m thinking of an alternative ending to a movie I’ve just seen or something really unproductive like that. So yeah I talk to myself and I am 100% okay with that. If people start asking questions I just tell them I’m talking to God. The reaction is usually them giving me a weird look and walking away. It works for me.

    in reply to: Does anyone here talk to themselves? #41050
    Allison Russo
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user JazzyG in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    I notice it is mostly when a memory of a stressful situation creeps up on me esp if it is something i did wrong…Verbal dumping my thoughts .. I started training myself to say “Jesus Loves Me This I know” instead of what I was actually thinking ( saying I can’t believe I .did/said ….. is less socially acceptable – lol ) If i remember i try to follow it with the thought i forgive myself for whatever was stressing me and most times i can shake it off

    in reply to: Does anyone here talk to themselves? #41049
    Allison Russo
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user daccim in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    lighten up. when i get noticed, no matter what their tone or actual words are, my standard reply is “of course, i’m the best listener i know”

    in reply to: Do I tell my supervisor about my ADHD? #41080
    Allison Russo
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user spanishpeanut13 in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    I am heading into work this morning to officially disclose my ADHD. The management team already knows that I have it, and they have been willing to accommodate me to a point thus far. I haven’t disclosed to HR, but will be today. A friend reminded me that it is better to be honest and ask for help, before getting in trouble for something I had the opportunity to change. I am not excited about having this conversation with the management, but I know that I can be very successful at what I do if I had a few “life hacks” to get myself on track. I don’t handle disappointing others well, and my fear of failure is the reason I’m asking for help. If you need it, ask for it. Equality in the workplace isn’t about everyone having the exact same thing, it’s about everyone being able to have the same opportunity to succeed.

    in reply to: Desperately struggling with chronic lateness #41032
    Allison Russo
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user motomyrtle in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    I’m 10-15 minutes late every day. I use the excuse that I take the mail to the post office after work which is uncompensated travel time. I am always late and have been teased for it my whole life. Even though I hit the door working instead of standing around gossiping for 15 minutes, I hate being late!

    I use alarms on my phone, 5:30, 6:30 I turn those off. 7:00…begin to stir… and 7:30 I finally get out of bed.

    I would like to get up at 5:30 like I did when I smoked. Nicotine cravings will wake you up!

    I’ve got to do better too!

    in reply to: Does anyone here talk to themselves? #41048
    Allison Russo
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user ADHDWilliam in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    I’ve often wondered if it wasn’t a mild form of tourette’s despite being fully aware of it when I do it, however i’ve taken tests before where the results indicate that I might also also have a mild form of Aspergers (on top of my ADHD or Hyperkinesis) and that the “self-talk” might possibly be somehow related to that.

    there’s also a forum post I found about it
    http://www.healthboards.com/boards/aspergers-syndrome/859564-aspergers-talking-yourself.html

    Here are some reason that argue why I it might NOT be tourettes and just simply more a case of being overly talkative or “blurting out”
    http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/tourette/detail_tourette.htm

    Involuntary vocalizations
    I on the other hand am aware that I’m doing WHEN I’m doing and can control it …sometimes.

    in reply to: Does anyone here talk to themselves? #41047
    Allison Russo
    Keymaster

    This reply was originally posted by user Tim Janke in ADDitude’s now-retired community.

    All. The. Time.

    Well, less so now that I have adhd meds (yay pharmaceuticals!), but yeah, I still find myself narrating my life and daydreaming out loud. It’s unusual to get through a whole day without doing it at least a few times.

Viewing 15 posts - 211 through 225 (of 248 total)