Coach Agnes Green

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  • in reply to: Lunch Accommodations Added to an IEP #91771
    Coach Agnes Green
    Participant

    Question to the advocate, where does it say that schools have the right to dictate what the child eats? Especially, if it is not in the handbook. I can’t help thinking that this type of behavior by the school sets a dangerous precedence that anyone witnessing what the children eat would be able to interject their opinion regardless of their nutritional knowledge. What does the cafeteria serve? Is it all nutritionally sound? I am not asking just to be contrary but I am curious. Isn’t there laws on the books for students with a disability to protect their rights? Do these laws change from state to state? This could have been handled much better with an email or phone call to the parent, it seems to me this school made a rule on the fly without notifying the parents or any official process.

    in reply to: ADHD and adult bullying #84011
    Coach Agnes Green
    Participant

    I’m sorry you are experiencing this. No one deserves to be treated this way. If the person you went to with your problem did nothing then go to a person who holds a higher position. Document everything, date, time and experience. A good website for job accommodations and suggestions is “https://askjan.org”. Know your rights and try to find an ally you can trust. Remember HR works for the company, not the employees, but if HR believes the company will be hurt by the behaviour of the employees they will sit up and take notice. Remember all that you have accomplished in spite of your ADHD, if the people making your life miserable had to have our ADHD brain I wonder how well they would do.

    in reply to: Help with forgetfulness #84006
    Coach Agnes Green
    Participant

    Believe me, she feels the consequences of her actions. That is not the problem or the solution. We lose things because our attention is not fully placed on the task at hand. This is because our ADHD brain is like Grand Central Station at rush hour. Anxiety makes it worse, so if she is travelling, which is stressful I can understand why she is losing her passport. The first thing that has helped me is wearing a cross body purse, most ADDers are tactile. We need to physically feel things. Before I started wearing a crossbody purse I would leave it everywhere. Now, not feeling it on my shoulder while walking out the door is more natural to me than relying on my memory. Another thing is to create habits when it comes to these things. Everything goes back to the same place no matter what. Even if you notice your keys on the coffee table, pick them up and put them in the place they belong. My purse is the holding place for the basics, sunglasses, keys, phone, etc. If I am not using it then it goes in my purse, including my phone, even if I am at home. After a few weeks, this will become a habit and she will no longer need to rely on the part of her brain that uses her working memory.

    in reply to: How to help my son focus and complete work in school #83976
    Coach Agnes Green
    Participant

    ADHD is such a hard thing to understand unless you experience it. The best teachers/parents/supervisors/friends in the world only see the person with ADHD from the outside. I am an adult and a coach with ADHD. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 45, even then, it six years before I understood it. Perhaps your son is self conscious about his writing because our brains do not organize our thoughts enough to put them on paper. Punishment will never work with ADHD. Kids with ADHD want to do what is right, their brains just don’t cooperate. Rewards and positive reinforcement helps. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (Dr William Dodson)is a very big factor when it comes to some of the behaviours you are explaining. Rejection and criticism or perceived rejection and criticism can lead to behaviours such as people pleasing or the opposite, doing nothing at all for fear of failure. All the positive reinforcement suggestions mentioned here are excellent. Perhaps if your son could understand why he does the things he does by working with a coach or an ADHD counselor you can help him develop strategies to thrive not just survive. I used to daydream as a child and found it was the most relaxing non-stressful thing I could do. As an adult, I still do it and consider it a form of meditation. In time, your son will learn to use daydreaming as a tool to relax but only when it is appropriate.

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