My Forum Comments
We BOTH go to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) both individually and as a couple. Your wife needs to learn that, although she loves you, she is NOT RESPONSIBLE for your words and actions, you ARE. That is a very hard lesson for a spouse, parent, sibling, sibling, or other loved one to accept about those of us with mental disorders or those with addictions. The best support organizations to learn those techniques (and don’t be surprised because they have been around the longest just for this reason!) is Al-Anon. Even though the program was founded in the environment of the alcoholic family, the premise of program concentrates on ability to be able love your family member or other significant member without controlling the situations or the outcomes which take place in their life. It is a great place to go to learn how to love in such a manner without all the stress you wife seems to be experiencing thinking she somehow has to control the situation. You should be considering the implications on your family and look for appropriate forums if you feel a need to vent your opinions on subjects of particular interest (There are plenty online!) Only you can make a decision to make changes about your behavior if affects the emotional well-being of those around you and therapy is an ideal place to start. I have used 12 Step programs and CBT both and they have greatly strengthened my family relationships and communication skills51illusionsParticipant
Hi There! You may find the extra support like I did from a dynamite woman who is known as the “Fly Lady”! She especially is good for for folks like us. She has a great website, app, her books are good (I found 2 in my local library), and she is highly motivational! You can find her at the “Flylady.Net”. Just start with the block or tab marked “Getting Started”.
I would also recommend the 3 books and weekly blog by Jennifer L. Scott, a young mom. She wrote “Lessons from Madam Chic…”‘ “At Home with Madam Chic”, and “Polish Your Poise with Madame Chic”. These books were based on her experiences as an exchange student in Paris, France for one year and what she learned from a European woman/mother in particular about managing home, time, and how to perceive herself. They were very good!