My Forum Comments
November 24, 2018 at 2:21 am in reply to: I feel so left out – it’s like I’m invisible. Any advice please? #104244
Leave work at work, continue smiling at parents and be around the people you like and who make you feel good. Listening is a well developed skill. I was a shy kid, later became a social butterfly and have now become a trusted confidant of a few. Find your people or your tribe. It’s okay that you know that you have nothing in common with these people. Don’t involve yourself in these personality contests. Your child’s friend’s parent can be a start to a friendship. You really need one best friend. You haven’t done anything to be judged, so give yourself a break. You are who you are.November 24, 2018 at 1:42 am in reply to: Is this ADHD or did I marry a manipulative con artist? #104243
Financial abuse is part of Domestic Violence. Contact Domestic Violence hotline number in order to make a plan to leave this relationship safely. Your spouse is an emotional terrorist. Knowledge of his multiple diagnosis and medication isn’t quick fix and change would require commitment to therapy and mental health for a lifetime. Your first responsibility is to yourself, so focus on self-protection. You are not qualified or under contract to fix him. Domestic Violence has resources for you to get a pro-bono divorce and legal advice that includes orders of protection and restraining orders, shelters and housing, child support issues, therapists and mental health resources regarding survivors. NAMI – National Alliance for Mental Health has a hotline and your community may have an information and referral service for community supports. Unpaid child support for a period of 120 days is considered a felony. Judges may require a job search, wage garnishment, visitation schedules, tax intercept, vehicle and property leins,and jail time. A good therapist should have provided you with the basic resource of the National Domestic Violence Hotline at the same time as telling you about the relationship. Doing damage control and putting out fires is exhausting. The first step should be finding reasons why you accept this behavior into your life. Childhood Abuse has traumatic effects to brain development that can be similar to ADHD. Government studies in support of this can be found on the internet. Invest all your energy and focus on yourself with professional help so you can learn what got you into this situation and protect yourself from victimisation again. When people show you who they are, believe them. As far as his family, the saying “you are who you know” applies to his family. You’ve already made a great start by attending therapy and doing research. This is way bigger than you, it gets worse, it happens to people from all aspects of society. You can survive and thrive.
My 15 year old daughter has daytime wetting, used to have encopresis (BM) and no medication has changed it. The encopresis subsided when she got her period. She is isolating herself because of odor. I had a traumatic injury from childbirth, so I blame myself, as I had a repair when she was 3 years old. She was aware that we both wore diapers, handing me mine in the restroom. She likes to be helpful. I was given medication as a result of a wrongful diagnosis, pretty sure respiridol, that made me sleep so hard that I wet my bedclothes. My suggestion to you is deal with one diagnosis at a time and get a sleep study ordered by the doctor. My experience has been multiple diagnosis, tons of medications, and I find less is best. Always trust your own judgement and enjoy learning your child. As far as the wetting, it’s very common in males and it is his own personal item not to be shared. I have found that ownership of a bodily function and allowing self-care is empowering to our children. My daughter’s wetting has been frustrating, my mother’s sage advice is that “it’s the only thing that she can control” in life. I’ve tried everything, but the easiest intervention is to whisper “wash up” and allow her to own the body, function, and care. I know a lot of makes that claim they wet the bed until puberty. No one talks about it. I am the mother of a 27 year old with Down Syndrome, bed wetting until 16. If you do the math, all 3 in diapers at the same time! Your insurance may send you incontinent supplies with a doctor authorization. It may encourage you to know that my sister skipped second grade, plays classical piano by ear, has her master’s degree, and recently admitted owning a small business is fulfilling for adults with ADD/ADHD. No medication was ever involved, times were different. She got herself a lot of therapy. I remember her struggles with “blurting out” inappropriate stuff, yet she learned her mind and developed lasting relationships.