Work friend jealous of my accommodations

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    • #103757

      I’ve been really fortunate to be able to develop some useful accommodations at work thanks to my very supportive boss. This includes having a flexible start/end time to my office day (within an hour of 9-5). She also lets me start or end the last bit of my day from home to break up the monotony or being in the office (we share an office so it can be distracting for both of us — she also starts or ends days from home sometimes!).

      I was confiding in my work friend about how I’ve been closer to the late end of start time and early end of leave time and I was fearful it was affecting my job (I talked to my boss about it and it’s fine, thank goodness). She proceeds to say “must be nice” and start complaining about how she wishes she could come and go as she pleases instead of working her full day and still taking home a pile of work. Now, we have very different jobs and I have learned to set boundaries and say no to extra projects — something she hasn’t learned yet. I also think she very well may have ADHD, and I’ve thought that since I met her.

      So it stands to reason she’d be jealous if she thought accommodations like I have would help her too… but she’s expressing it by being really passive aggressive (she will snidely say things like, “oh do you still get to leave early all the time? Must be nice”). She’s not interested in considering she may have an ADHD/executive function dx so she can’t really ask for accommodations. I have no idea how to deal with her at this point. It’s hurtful and exhausting being around her and I’ve started to cut her off….but we work together.

      Has anyone every had to deal with this? I don’t want to feel like I constantly have to explain myself to a coworker about my schedule! And I can’t just ignore her because I don’t want to stoke tension….but I’m not going to succumb to emotional bullying either. Gah!

    • #103777

      If you’ve explained the situation, and your co-worker still doesn’t like or understand, tell them to talk to the boss for an explanation, and if that still doesn’t work tell them that’s their problem and life isn’t fair, and those of us that have been diagnosed may seem like we’re getting preferential treatment, but we’re not accommodations are only to level the field.
      Many times even with accommodations we still have to work considerably more and harder than others when there’s aspects of our jobs that we don’t excel at.

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