When does a school say " no more" ?

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    • #106530

      Hi, I’m new here.

      My son is 7 and in the 1st grade.

      During kindergarten our school suspected ADD/ADHD but didnt ask us to get him tested until now. We’ve gone through all the hoops hoping to help ourselves, him and the school handle some of his behaviors (attention seeking, hitting, throwing, cussing), he is in play therapy at the moment and we are trying to find someone else who can help with some of the other issues our doctors/ therapists have said he should probably see.

      That all being said all of my sons behaviors continue at school no matter what anyone tries. Everyday we receive progress reports on his day and 95% of the time he has acted out or been removed from class. This week they decided that he would no longer be starting class with the rest of his class, that he would put his backpack in the room and then go to a different room to start school. He is required to eat once he gets to this other class and then once the teacher thinks he is ready, moved into the normal classroom.

      I understand they are trying to keep him in school, that they are trying to ” help” and “support” us and him but with everything that’s happened this year i’m waiting for them to tell us he cant come back.

      Has anyone ever dealt with something like this?

      When does a school decided that they cant have a student? I’ve tried to look this up to curb my fears but i haven’t found anything that helps.

    • #106535
      Penny Williams

      If it’s a public school in the US, I think they have to be a danger to others to get expelled, but that could vary by school district. Usually, there’s an “alternative” school that they send behavior-problem kids to.

      I think using your time and effort to explore why your son is struggling in school would serve you better. Obviously, what you are doing isn’t working, so it’s time to explore something different.

      The thing with ADHD is that it makes it nearly impossible for kids to do well in mainstream school, because the school expectations are just about everything that an individual with ADHD struggles with. Instead, kids with ADHD need accommodations and additional help in school. And treatment for ADHD.

      Many parents fear a diagnosis for their child, but it’s often necessary to know exactly what you’re dealing with to improve it.

      Release Your Fears: A Post-Diagnosis Guide for Parents

      ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

    • #107219

      Our son is in 6 th grade and we struggle every day. We asked the same question…he is in a public school as well.
      They must provide services to your son but if they cannot provide what he needs there then they can send him to a school that is better equipped to handle his behavior. Smaller classes, teachers who are all special ed trained, more breaks, some even offer medical staff- psychiatrists, OT and support for him.

      With that being said I assume you have an IEP? We just had a re-evaluation and were able to pull him out of the big classes and into 1:1 setting or small group. He has more support and are doing everything they can to help him.

      A huge change came when we gave him medication not just for ADHD but for anxiety ( which was off the charts) to help him cope. You need a very good therapist/psychiatrist to help.
      We have also gotten him educational testing, neuropsych testing, learning disabilities testing (found out he was unable to write and struggles reading). They should also do a BIP ( Behavior intervention plan) so they see certain behaviors and everyone know what they need to do when it occurs).
      In hindsight, instead of struggling with a regular school with 1 special ed teacher, he would have been better at a special ed school where a team of special ed fold could support him and help him rather than trying to make him “fit” into the normal school routine and expectations. Good luck.

      • #107227

        Does your son have an IEP or a 504 plan? If not you need to push for one. An IEP under other health impaired if his education is being greatly effected by his ADHD and a 504 if it is not. This will give both he and you rights and protections under the law.
        Unless he is causing bodily harm to himself of others, he cannot be expelled. I am a special education teacher who also has ADHD and who’s has a son with ADHD as well. I know it is a very difficult decision but I would consider medication. My son takes Vyvanse and I take Adderall (you have to find what is best for your child. I love that my medication helps

        me to be able to focus and complete tasks. I am sure your son is frustrated by the fact that he cannot stop paying attention to all of the external factors going on in his classroom everyday and that frustration comes out as behaviors. I would like to say that it sounds like the school is working hard to help your son be successful. You might want to consider family counseling. It is very difficult to live with someone who has ADHD. It is normal to worry or feel guilty about your son’s behaviors but it is not your fault or his that he has a medical condition.

    • #107275

      My son is now in 10th grade. I has a very strong IEP! At second grade I was told by the school ADD . We waited until he was 10 ftto find out that he has ADD, Central Auditory Processing and Dyslexia. Every Year since 7th grade he has been suspended. At thgat point we took him off all medication. He has not been on any since. I have learned to pysh the music push the sports. He wants to please but gets so frutrated. It gets harder when they are older unless their grades are average or above the will be lumped with kids that maynot be appropriate. Do not give up. Keep a schedule. Find t t the triggers that set them off. Make sure you have the correct diagnoses. Stay on top of sexual and violent games from 4th ggrade on and you tube videos. This is a full time job and you can only do the best you can.

      To the parent that has kid with oubursts. If you your child goes to public school start observing or go unannounced. My son had soeech issues as well at that age he was bullied by 2nd graders domething awful wr never knew it.

    • #107319

      Ticktackter, Hi! My daughter has been suspended so so many times in high school. She just came off OSS (10 day). Her IEP is ADHD and Conduct Disorder (ODD). The plan in her IEP is to give her more time during tests, have her do a few classes in the “Special special needs department” which she HATES. She forgets crap the minute you tell her, which is normal with her hyperactive mind. The teachers “forgive” the tardies and allow her to hand in work very, very late. BUT the program and her IEP doesn’t give her special modalities to learn to listen, work, etc. They are DONE with her and now she’s got a HUGE target on her back. The “hallway monitor” follows her and has security guards following her so that she can’t go to the bathroom w/o someone waiting for her, which drives her anxiety SKY HIGH and with her cortisol levels out the wazzooo… she’s set up for more failure. Can I have a copy of your IEP so that I can see what I can add? She’s got 6 months of Senior grade left and it’ll be a miracle or ?? to get her through. They dislike her intensely in the Special-Special Ed program. So she has to toe(tow?) the line every minute, which of course sends her running out of the little room she’s stuck in all day and into the bathroom or the gym. My girl needs help. I need help! Thank you, Mary

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