February 14, 2019 at 8:35 am #109272KnowyourselfParticipant
I cant quite rememeber how this question came about exactly. Its been 32 hours since being diagnosed with adhd im 28 and striving for daily success. Without going into details i try to live by being better than i was yesturday and its easy.
I was litening to a motivational speech from Billy Alsbrook (i understand these arent for everyone and it was just a random thing i did on the way to work this morning) What really stood out was something he said about when people endure a significant state of being alone the will discover and truely understand what theyre made of. I was stirred right up hearing this and i felt the pull in the chest and i knew tewrs were coming but i refused to this time because i want to know what was at the roots and causing me to react this way.
I cried through most of the Green Mile when i was 18 on my weekend off from drug and alchohol rehab
I used to feel emotional when people asked me if i was okay eg if i or someone were involved in an inncident that resulted in minor phyisical pain
Even the way that morphius spoke to neo in the matrix about self believe and related subjects pulled on the heart strings
I feel tears over common things too i guess but im really interested in whether any of you have more thought and facts about this subject or even share your own experiences. Id like to be able to use what you share to help discover the real meaning of my tears. Please excuse any spelling, grammar and punctuation errors i know how frustrating these thing can be.
Thank you in advance. Will definitely have questions
February 14, 2019 at 2:08 pm #109298mch08101Participant
I’ve always been a pretty emotional person and I always just thought that was just a normal thing and who I was. I forgot where I read it but I saw that this could actually be a sign of adhd/ add. Moodiness and crying a lot/ crying and not even knowing why could be linked to your adhd problems and getting that figured out my help. I am currently struggling after having a successful 6 months on medication, and noticing that all the sudden I am feeling sad and really emotional again. Whereas when all my other symptoms were better so were my emotions. So, maybe find a treatment plan for your adhd would help balance out your emotions. As for me, I did notice that when I felt on edge or overwhelmed was always when I would cry a lot. Hope this helps!
February 14, 2019 at 4:48 pm #109326RanmaParticipant
It’s emotional disregulation, it’s harder for us to control our emotions, we FEEL things more deeply.
It’s why I’m picky about what movies I watch and whether I have to watch them at home alone.
Example, thankfully I was alone watching an anime, because they mislabeled it, it was labeled comedy, when it should have been comedy/drama.
Within the first twenty minutes I was sobbing, near uncontrollably, the main protagonist was being severely abused and later abandoned by her mother.
As a victim of abuse, this hit WAY to close to home, many of the things that make me very emotional are similar to my own experiences.
February 18, 2019 at 7:09 am #109460ADMom12926Participant
Everything makes me cry. I was always a super sensitive kid, and although I’ve gotten better grip on it, I’m such a deep feeler that it’s hard for me to hold tears back. I notice that if I don’t cry about something that offends me, my anger builds up. My husband tells me to let my anger go but most of the time I can’t without crying first. I’ve done everything I can to break the cycle but it seems impossible.
February 18, 2019 at 8:15 pm #109539RagingADHDParticipant
I think all those things are pretty normal. I know plenty of people without ADHD who get weepy or choked up in a great motivational speech or an emotional movie. Those things are actually designed by talented people purposefully to evoke strong emotions! So the fact that they worked, just means that…those people are good at their jobs, you know?
I cried so hard during the live show of “Les Miserables” that I shook the people on the other end of the row. They were looking down at me to see if I was having a seizure. But I was just really really into the show!
Crying is a release valve for your emotions (or your stress) spilling over. There are a lot of different triggers for crying, but the only thing it “means” is that you needed a cry. It does a lot of the same things to your body and your brain that laughing does – it oxygenates your blood and releases endorphins, for example.
So something that might not make you cry when you’re rested and feeling great, could really set you off if you’re tired, stressed, hungry, in pain, upset about something else, or physically ill.
And the more stressed you are (mentally or physically), the more you need that release. For example, you mentioned crying all the way through a movie when you were on a weekend away from rehab.
I bet you were dealing with a lot of important stuff in rehab. Then when you got home and let your guard down, the movie just tipped you over the edge into letting all that emotion out because you needed to.
When I was recovering from a serious illness that took months, I would cry at the drop of a hat – TV commercials, not being able to comb my hair, geez – anything. And that’s a normal thing that happens when you are really exhausted and run down.
I think it’s interesting that you used to get emotional when people asked you if you were okay. To me that would suggest that you really needed some kindness, and it touched your heart.
Some things that sometimes make me cry or at least get teary-eyed (some sad, some happy):
Fighting with my husband
Giving an impassioned speech or talking about a really important moment in my life
Attending weddings or baby baptisms.
My wedding vows
When someone I love dies
When someone gives me a really meaningful compliment
When I’m regretful over something I did.
Telling people I love how I feel about them, how important they are to me.
Talking about important things in my religious/spiritual life
Scenes in movies, books, or tv about people being reunited, about love & sacrifice, about loss/death/never seeing each other again, about people achieving a hard-won reward, about parents or mentors telling someone they are proud of them…a lot of stuff.
I’m going to gently disagree with Ranma upthread. I’m not a psychologist, but my understanding of emotional dysregulation is that it’s when emotions are disproportionate or inappropriate/unrelated to the situation, or cause an inappropriate or damaging outburst (like smashing up the furniture or threatening suicide).
I think (to use Ranma’s example) an abuse survivor unexpectedly watching scenes of child abuse is a TOTALLY NORMAL thing to get upset and cry about. Like, I think it would be a little bit weird if you didn’t.
So I guess my questions to you would be, do you feel like crying over unexpected things is causing you a problem? Are you embarrassed about it, or what?
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