October 4, 2018 at 1:21 pm #100883
I’m new here and looking for advise from parents who have direct experience with the following:
My son is in second grade. He has violent outbursts at school. A couple times a month they are so bad that he will have to be restrained either in a “safe” room or in a physical hold. He throws objects, knocks over furniture, makes threats, etc. As bad as that sounds the worst for me is that when at last he feels he has no other course of action, he will pull down his pants and attempt to pee (or in one case poop) on the floor. I have witnessed these behaviors. He has some identified and predictable triggers, but other times the outbursts occur without warning. He goes into a red zone quickly, and once he is there he is very difficult to de-escalate.
These types of events are less frequent now that he is taking Prozac which has helped to manage his anxiety. He is also on Strattera for ADHD.
The school and I are concerned that if he is seen by his peers peeing on the floor, that it will ruin his chance of being socially accepted. We have been making some strides socially. The idea of him becoming an outcast at school is terrifying to me.
If anyone reading this has successfully intervened with a child attempting to pee or poop on the floor in the middle of an emotional meltdown, I would love to hear what worked for your child. I would also like to hear what didn’t work. I’m working with the school to put some procedures in place for both prevention and intervention. Any experiences you could share would really help, and I appreciate any responses!
October 5, 2018 at 12:59 am #100920
I am so sorry I feel your pain I went through this with my son. Has your son also been diagnosed with any other learning disabilities? Does he have a hard time, spelling, with his handwriting, putting his thoughts on paper? Is he gifted and talented or on a advanced learning plan. We found my son to be all of the above and a lot of the time although medication can decrease the outbursts their is an under-lying cause at school. Usually frustration or board-om.
We identified that my sons anxiety and frustration was based on his lack of supports and proper intervention at school. He is in a social emotional program, has dysgraphia, and high functioning autistic, it took me years to get him the right supports. They kept telling me he did not qualify for an IEP- independent education plan because he was to start, he is just being gammy they would say. When actually he qualified for SED, autism and a learning disability. And yes I know this is not what they call is anymore but the average person does not know or understand the difference. I had to fight like hell to get him the services he needed. He is now 11 and is doing good enough that I do not get calls weekly anymore and the best thing we did for him was change him schools twice so he could start over with kids, well not so much the kids but the kids parents were the issue. They just want to judge kids like this and are meaner than the kids in the school how just tattled on him for every little thing and we always had the one kid who liked the dramatic outbursts and bad behavior so they would bully and trigger him. Thinking it was funny. Our poor society is so cruel to kinds with mental illness or other issues even if it is ADHD, which in my experience of over 15 years it is never just ADHD.
October 5, 2018 at 1:10 am #100921
Beware the restraining can lead to post traumatic stress disorder. He needs to stop being triggered and escalated- the do what i say in three prompts or I am going to lay my hands on you to lead you or carry you out of the room is not okay. By educational law they need to clear the classroom not your son if he is that escalated but usually the school escalates it buy lack of knowledge and understanding. My sons principle used to play drill Sargent and have power control trips with him and escalate him this is not okay in an education setting and do not let them tell you it is.
Collaborative problem solving or alternative conflict resolution buy Dr.Green is what works best with my son find out the issue and solve it do not give orders or spout demands at that point. When people do that they loose. They tried it with me and I was like you are pissing me off so I can only imagine how my son is feeling right now you are just luck I can control myself he does not have those skills yet, but he will just give us time to do the proper interventions.
Now am I saying it still never happens- his big blow ups- NO, but they are no different than most kids, but they are still more intense than 60 percent of kids these days.
October 10, 2018 at 10:02 am #101213
I agree that he’s not getting the supports and understanding he needs, and that’s leading to these extreme outbursts at school. My son has only had one violent outburst in school in 11 years — the year his teacher refused to accommodate him, follow his IEP, adjust standards at all for him, and made it impossible to succeed. When he saw everyone else rewarded with toys and he got nothing, he snapped (4th grade).
I also feel that restraint and punishing his upset is probably making things worse rather than better. Some individuals need to be left alone to calm themselves — the more they’re scolded, talked to, and forced, the more it escalates.
I would formally request a Functional Behavior Assessment (FBA) and resulting Behavior Intervention Plan (BIP) from the school (in writing). A behavior specialist needs to be involved. If this has been done, it’s obviously not working and needs to be done again.
I’m also concerned about the Straterra and/or the Prozac. Both can cause severe behaviors in some individuals. When my sweet, kind boy took Prozac, the turned extremely violent and aggressive. I’ve heard of this happening with Strattera too. The two together have a “monitor closely” warning on interactions. Personally, I’d look at changing medication and trying something completely at this point anyway. Current treatment obviously isn’t successful.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
October 15, 2018 at 6:24 am #101482
Since you have mentioned that it happens a couple of times every month, you need to work with the school in identifying what are the triggers for such behavior. While you have mentioned that you have identified a few triggers, there is a possibility that there might be a few more triggers related to the school environment. Try and find a pattern in what causes his violent behavior.
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