Venting

This topic contains 0 replies, has 1 voice, and was last updated by  KcassieB 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

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    KcassieB
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    So to start, I haven’t been diagnosed yet with ADD, but and here’s the big but – my mom, brother, and sister all have it. I’ve struggled to remember roads (once walking home from the middle school I’d gone to for a year I got lost because I didn’t remember how to get home, which is only one of many stories of my bad navigation skills), people, say impulsive things, feel like words are sometimes lost from me like they’re up in a cloud and I just can’t say what I mean (this was only exacerbated in other languages that I’d become fluent in). I’ve forgotten dates that I’ve planned with my fiance, and impulsively change plans last minute. And when I’m with my SO I literally just focus all of my attention on him or go too far with something to the point that it causes tension. At my old job I would mix up when I was supposed to come in to work (going in to cater on Tuesday when I was supposed to meet my boss on Wednesday). I literally always loose/forget everything – I used to lose my phone for a weekend or a week straight, only to realize that it was in my purse all along. When I was in high school I was diagnosed with ADD tendencies – but I have no idea what that means, It’s only added to the confusion. Do I just act like I have ADD but actually don’t? And if it were just a product of my environment, why is it that when I was living on my own I still kept it all up? I think the worst part is the effect it has on my SO. And it’s frustrating. I want to get retested just for a once and for all do I/don’t I, but it’s scary.
    I guess I just feel tired because I want to know why I act the way that I don’t, and be able to say that the reason why I say stuff so flipping impulsively or do stuff (like posting our engagement before he told his friends because I’d forgotten he’d asked me to wait) isn’t because I’m immature or a jerk, but maybe there is something more? The worst part is after I screw something up, I always end up with the feeling that this is me, I’m stuck here and I’ll never be able to change it because I’ve tried and failed.

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