March 18, 2019 at 1:14 pm #112090lsedlakParticipant
My stomach is in knots because next week is teacher conference week and the middle school called to schedule a meeting (without asking if I would).
Here is where we are and thanks for any help because I am so ignorant on all of this.
Son is 11 in 6th grade with ADHD and anxiety and no special accommodations. If we were to toss out schoolwork and only focus on tests, he would probably be a straight-A student. But because he does not do schoolwork and has missed a bit of school (I will explain in a minute), his grades in math and digital input technologies (typing and computer 101) are low.
He has said to me that the work stresses him out. So he would miss school saying he was not feeling well and when I asked him about stress, he said he was not stressed. Recently he told me that was a lie. Due to family medical issues, I have had to travel out of town with him, so he has missed other days as well. He complains that he needs more one on one help. At the same time, there is an hour a day where he can work with teachers one on one to get caught up. They also say that he prefers to game on his Chromebook (school-issued) instead of doing work.
When I mentioned a 504, I was told we didn’t need to do that right now. Honestly, I am not sure what that would even do. He wants to be homeschooled or in a school with smaller classes (only two options in town and one is booked). But I also know that he tries to play my heartstrings sometimes.
Any advice going into this meeting with his teachers? Any advice on keeping him up with schoolwork? He knows now that if schoolwork is not done, he loses privileges at home. This is his first year in middle school. For the last two years of elementary school, he did not have homework, so I think the classwork is overwhelming.
March 20, 2019 at 10:00 am #112314Penny WilliamsKeymaster
School can be incredibly overwhelming and stressful for our kids. So much more than we often realize. We’ve dealt with school avoidance and refusal for years (my son is home today and missed a day each of the last two weeks as well). It’s really tough. My son is in 10th and we are currently doing 2 classes at school and 2 classes in online public school at home, because he can’t handle an entire day of the loud crowded environment, the other kids acting out and talking too much during class, and the social struggles.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
March 25, 2019 at 1:48 pm #112672lsedlakParticipant
The half day thing is interesting. His first two classes of the day he said he loves. But then he gets into classes with some other 6th grade boys (who act like 6th grade boys) and the classwork stress and it goes downhill. This could be a possible option for him.
March 27, 2019 at 2:41 pm #112847Dr. EricParticipant
If you are feeling that stressed or emotional, consider bringing your partner… or at least a friend or a relative to take notes and be your brain.
When you are stressed and getting triggered to mama (or papa) bear mode, you are not going to have the level of listening comprehension and information processing that you will want to have.
This way who will have both a brain and a heart in the meeting, and you can balance your approach.
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