December 17, 2019 at 6:58 pm #136783momlife978Participant
I have an 8 year old has had symptoms since she was a toddler. Her pediatrician acknowledged her symptoms but said they wait until it interferes with school before starting recommending an evaluation. My daughter’s grades are very good and she always gets the she’s smart but needs to control her voice or she has trouble following direction. Her first grade teacher worked with her a lot and said she always had to be on top of her to make sure she stayed on track and even provided a seating area near her/separate from her peers if my daughter felt herself get overwhelmed or needed to move to control her talking.
She has transferred to a new school due to me being a single mother and the hours of the school working better for me. It has been a struggle since this transfer. She has dealt with name calling, threats from kids, and a teacher who does not want to acknowledge my concerns that my daughter presents many of the symptoms of ADHD which is causing the teacher/child conflict. She forgets her homework binder, coats, asks for help during math (he sends her back to her seat because he thinks she just doesn’t want to do it because her test scores are fine), excessive talking and not being able to properly walk in a straight line. She comes home in tears almost daily and has come to the point of not wanting to go to school. She tells me her mind is constantly racing.
The teacher has accused her of purposely leaving her binder and being defiant intentionally. This has led to negative feelings of the school for both myself and my daughter. My daughter started calling her teacher a liar because of him accusing her of leaving the binder on purpose. This is another issue as my daughter is very sensitive and has a hard time controling her emotions. The assistant principal and principal are not much help either. During a recent meeting it was all about the behaviors my child needs to work on with no recommendations on how to help her meet those goals.
I have told the teacher techniques I use at home. Checklists for her morning, afternoon routine as well as a checklist for homework (check spelling, write name on top of sheet, etc.). I have to repeat expected behaviors whenever we are going somewhere. For transitions, I also give her a heads up. “In 10 minutes, it’s time to clean up and take a shower”. Sometimes I use a timer for that or other tasks that she may have to do such as 20 minute reading.
Since that meeting all I get is complaints daily about her behavior. Whether its the excessive talking, not doing classwork (which she has started since they won’t help her), and sitting alone at lunch away from peers. I am anxious daily waiting for the complaints I can only imagine how she feels all day in the school. She has asked me if I think she’s a bad child for talking too much because that’s how she feels in school.
How do parents who have children with undiagnosed ADHD go about getting help for their child in the classroom? I want to transfer her back to her first school but I don’t want to make things worse for my child by having her move again in the middle of a school year. Any tips an suggestions would be greatly appreciated on how to handle an unsupportive school/teacher.
- This topic was modified 1 year, 7 months ago by momlife978.
December 18, 2019 at 1:36 pm #136843Penny WilliamsKeymaster
It sounds like you’re going to have to get a diagnosis for the school to believe she needs accommodations and support. Her pediatrician is wrong that they only evaluate if grades tank in school. Ask for a referral for an evaluation or find a doctor who will provide one. Lots of girls in particular fall through the cracks because they can keep their grades up.
The way she’s being treated is very damaging.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
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