October 12, 2017 at 4:44 pm #65332
Hi, I just found myself watching a video basically describing my life, it had a link to this site, I’m kind of shaking with tears and laughter and omfgwtf aaaaand… I’m wondering where to next?
Putting my life into words is proving to be pretty difficult, will try and chuck a few factoids in out that may help anyone point me in an appropriate direction-
-34 y/o, in London
-self employed, have adjusted my life to keep bureaucracy to an absolute minimum, I still balls up/don’t bother with the small amount I’m left with…
-multi skilled, no qualifications, jack of all trades, always got bored before getting to a “master of trade” level, tried to go to university once- couldn’t sit through it and it made me hugely depressed… thankfully found kind of gainful employment in the arts as a technician where multiple skills is enjoyed and being the person I am is tolerated if not actively encouraged. When I work, I REALLY WORK. Despite my utter failure to admin my life I have a serious work ethic and get taken seriously for that.
-energetic AF, twitchy, I’m surrounded by multiple half finished projects, I’ll probably start another this weekend, getting distracted when I’m in ACTION MODE gets me growly. Sometimes that upsets people around me.
-what little admin I do actually do takes me forever, stresses me way way way above what it should. The most menial things stay on my to do list until I get so ashamed that I either actually do it and then feel stupid for letting it stay there, or on occasion rearrange my life so that it never needs to be done.
There’s a whole heap of details that I’d rather not post because they’re potentially incriminating and/or identifying and I’m really not there yet. But essentially my entire life could be seen as a series of coping mechanisms for all the traits on all the checklists and questionnaires I just got 85-100% on… does that mean I aced them?
I’d be really interested to hear about experiences of getting diagnosed (doctors, appointments, etcetc basically terrify me) at this kind of age, how/where/what? Is it useful to you? Is it useful to your friends, lovers, and family? My attitude to life has confounded parents and partners, and me… and I kind of feel like there’s some kind of explanation and I’m not unique in missing some part of self that my peers have.
- This topic was modified 3 years, 4 months ago by whydeebee.
October 13, 2017 at 10:51 am #65367Penny WilliamsKeymaster
ADDitude offers a guide on what to do if you think you have ADHD:
Things may work a little differently in London on some of the details, but will get you moving in the right direction.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
October 13, 2017 at 1:49 pm #65439ParminterParticipant
Oh yes, I recognize this, every detail!
I too diagnosed myself accidentally. Then I took a questionnaire on Adult Women with ADD (that I found online) to my GP.
He did not question my self-assessment, bless him.
Personally, I do not ‘medicate’ very well – if there is a side-effect I will get it. I tried it, it was not for me, sadly – it does seem to help millions of people.
So one is thrown back upon taking personal responsibility, which includes a healthy lifestyle, exercise, breathing exercises and meditation (of a rather ADD sort, you can imagine).
Lately I have been trying CBD oil, and it has allayed a lot of the anxiety that I associate with ADD.
Read a lot and try everything. It is work, there are no miracles.
Also, do not allow yourself to believe the labels – ‘deficit’ and ‘disorder’ must not be on your self-description list! ‘Barmy’ is fine.
October 13, 2017 at 3:00 pm #65457ken_whitten2002Participant
Same thing here except I am 60 years old. Started adderall 2 weeks ago and also very motivated and I am able to do some of the things in the category of “the world won’t end if I don’t do this today”. The medical people pushed in the direction of depression and anxiety. I tried several meds and they all sent me in the wrong direction. I have more of an attention imbalance than a deficit. I am also a very productive worker with no ability to do what you call admin type things. My light bulb moment was when I figured out that what I called anxiety was really hyperactivity. I would wait until I was really tired to go to bed but as soon as I put my head down I needed to get up. xanax works if I use it at bedtime on an as needed basis not every day. Sometimes just having the xanax in the house helps. I coped for all this time but I was up to 2 pots of coffee a day to keep attention. Hyperactivity as well as digestive problems got to me. I have started to sleep better which is really important for me as I age. I think the adderall will help me cut way back on the coffee. The whole sleeping better and allocating my attention better should improve my life. Now I have to deal with the issue of all the lost time and I hope you realize that there must be people who never find out. I hope you make the most of life without too much stress.
October 13, 2017 at 3:14 pm #65458ken_whitten2002Participant
Oh, please be aware that although doctors hate when you tell them what is wrong with you and ask for controlled substances, I recently read that about 95% of the time that doctors finally diagnose “adult” adhd the patient was already quite aware. Some points to make your case for trying the medication is that you are not 6 years old like many that get prescribed. You could make the point that you have been dealing with this your whole life and that you didn’t just wake up and want drugs. That doctors routinely describe the risk of using these medications as small, and that the diagnosis probably cannot be made without trying the drugs, the fact that the drugs work is apparently the proof of diagnosis. I have heard many stories about how hard it is to get the medication if you want it, while they often push it on 6 year olds. Best of luck.
October 13, 2017 at 4:34 pm #65464
Thank you guys so much for the replies, hearing you stories and advice is making this headspin that bit easier… re: controlled substances, the less legal versions are things i am no stranger to. I’m really not looking for medication, but an understanding of who/how/why I am, and also support.
I just spoke to some housemates about this and the responses have been “errr, obviously” and “we thought you knew”. Which is kind of encouraging 🙂
October 13, 2017 at 5:18 pm #65465
And a big thanks to ADHDmomma for the very straight up reply, that link has described all kinds of things I’m feeling right now… This is a really good thing you’re doing here 🙂
October 20, 2017 at 10:18 am #65965disgracejonesParticipant
Made me smile when I read your description of yourself ‘Jack of all trades’. It’s how I’ve referred to myself. I stumbled across an article that suggested that people diagnosed with bipolar were often undiagnosed ADHD cases. That was my lightbulb moment 18 months ago. I received an official diagnosis this week at 41 years old.
My path has been convoluted because of the services available to me locally. This is the process I went through. Hope yours is smoother!
1. I discussed my thoughts on ADHD with my psychiatrist (I had been referred for depression/potentially bipolar) She was skeptical but admitted it was not her area of expertise. She took me through a basic screening and then advised me to go back to my GP and request a referral for assessment.
2. I visited my GP and she agreed to my request but said my psychiatrist needed to do the referral.
3. My GP and Psychiatrist faffed around for several months trying to work out who was supposed to do the referral. I complained to the CCG and the referral was made. In my area the adult ADHD service had been suspended so I had to appeal to be referred out of area. My appeal was unsuccessful.
4. I decided I’d go privately. Paid £600 to a noted specialist who decided I did not have ADHD.
5. In August the adult ADHD service reopened and things moved quite fast (by NHS standards 🙂 My psychiatrist referred me and I had an appointment in two weeks.
6. After 1st interview the ADHD doc felt there was enough likelihood to proceed so she booked me for QB testing.
7. Had QB test two days later due to a cancellation.
8. Attended appointment for DIVA questionairre and review QB results. Doc satisfied that grounds were enough for diagnosis providing one of my parents was able to corroborate and we will meet again in a month to choose medication strategy.
Although my journey has taken a while, realistically from the service reopening in my city it has actually only taken 2 months to get a diagnosis.
QB testing is cool because it is not a persons subjective assessment which is curiously reassuring but it’s also the most miserable 20 mins of your life!
The very best of luck to you on your mission to find out.
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