October 13, 2017 at 8:02 pm #65471ShirokumaParticipant
I was wondering how you handle traffic?
I love driving but I hate traffic. Small things always get me in a complaining and angry mood and I can’t seem to get rid of it.
For me the only moment I felt comfortable driving was when I was a cargo-train driver and drove my car mainly during the quiet nights.
Road rage is not something I have done yet, but I need to search every smallest piece of patience with people who don’t follow the rules correctly.
Not stopping at a stop-sign, not using blinkers, constantly pushing brakes while not slowing down, being slow at traffic signals resulting in less cars who can pass, driving too slow, not driving within the lanes, (especially white cars) not using lights during foggy weather, no situational awareness, not following road markings,…
It all sets me up so much that my mood is terrible for at least the next 4 hours… .
How do you stay calm in these situations?
October 14, 2017 at 7:00 am #65479Clouded WisdomParticipant
The easiest and fastest method would be to inhale for 4 seconds hold your breath for 4 seconds and exhale for 4 seconds. I heard that the Navy Seals use this method to remain calm and focused. Another thing that might help (caution is advised since this might not be legal in your area!) Is to go to your local weed shop or whatever they’re called and ask for something that will help keep you calm and collected. However as I stated you might not be able to purchase weed legally if that’s the case I suggest not following these next steps. Take a hit or two right when you wake up. That will jump start your day. Make sure to have a good breakfast and that morning coffee everyone loves so much, then once you’re on that early morning commute to wherever you’ll feel good, be energized from breakfast and coffee. All you need then are some good tunes and an I can do this attitude, plus smoking does help enhance some peoples mood, but just like every medication effects do very from person to person. Or just research ways to stay calm. Go to yoga or palates twice a week. Make sure you get at least 7 and a half hours of sleep etc etc. I used basically a shotgun blast of info since I don’t know your preferences in life, but hopefully something helps.
October 15, 2017 at 10:50 am #65491timsoutheeBlocked
Idea isn’t bad though. Thank you for the tips.
October 16, 2017 at 8:52 am #65513Penny WilliamsKeymaster
I find the same things irritating and can get me riled up, and I do not have ADHD. I think the impatience selfishness of others can get us all agitated. Calming techniques for yourself is about all you can do to improve the situation. “The only person you have control over is yourself, and the only thing you can change is your reaction” is very true in this case.
ADDitude Community Moderator, Author & Mentor on Parenting ADHD, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism
October 16, 2017 at 12:24 pm #65565anomalocarisParticipant
I don’t have any idea whether this will be a useful perspective at all. I have ADD, and I used to be bothered by little stuff. Then I got into doing some humanitarian work with POWs. It was a huge eyeopener for me. They were constantly cheerful. Always putting the best face on things. On one occasion, I lost contact for some time with a group of six of them. Finally, I heard from one of them. “We’re all fine in here, as usual! Sorry about the delay in writing you. We had a little problem with a couple of the guards, but don’t worry! We gave as good as we got! Ha!” He then went on to express concern about a work issue I’d been having last time I wrote him.
A few days later, I finally heard back from a lawyer I’d been trying to get info from, and got the full story. They had been forced at gunpoint to make an “escape attempt” after a guard cut through the fence. The purpose of course, was to create an excuse for guard to give them a beating. Two had been beaten so badly that they required resuscitation. One had been thrown from a 25 foot wall (breaking both arms) and then repeatedly kicked in the face. Since that time they had been under 24 hour lockdown, denied clothing, medical treatment for the injuries, hot water, and most of their meals. So… that was the “little problem” they’d had that was so minor that I wasn’t to worry about it. I realized at the time that if they could stay positive under those conditions, I certainly didn’t have much right to be bothered by little things like other people not behaving according to my expectations.
Also, I guess, by dealing with situations like that over a number of years I came to understand that there’s a difference between bad and inconvenient. My approach now is, if no one’s in danger of dying, it’s not worth getting wound up over. Oddly, I think my ADD helps, in that I simply don’t have the energy to get all wound up over stuff other people are doing. I barely have the energy to deal with my own crap! 🙂
I know there are no solutions in any of this. One of those things I think you have to live through to take the lesson from it and not something one person can tell another and have it “click.” But I thought it worth a mention, because sometimes just seeing things from a different perspective can be useful.
October 23, 2017 at 6:27 am #66117timsoutheeBlocked
Thanks for sharing this idea here.
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