Too much fun stuff, not caring about projects, cant wake up early

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    • #125326
      vieuxcarre
      Participant

      im probably addicted to fun. i always rationalize that if this band is in town or this event is on, i ahould not miss it. but im behind on outside projects i took on because they help me build my career for when i get out of my current disliked career.

      so i get back from the event intending to organize receipts study and do my projects but i snack a little and fall asleep. i could get 11 hours of sleep amd i would still wake at 730. i cant get myself to leave bed before that. i just crash. im a great sleeper.

      i cant afford a coach so if you have hired one, their wisdom would be appreciated.

    • #125367
      Reflection
      Participant

      I think I see a couple of things in your post that you’re struggling with:
      – getting out of bed (on time?)
      – prioritizing more or less difficult boring task over guaranteed fun events
      – after a day spent at an event you’re physically tired + your willpower is depleted
      – you would like to perhaps sleep a little less and open up some more hours in your day

      Are you perhaps slightly depressed? I say that because you write you’re addicted to fun things and sleep a lot. Do you need this extra boost of fun/dopamine to feel ‘normal’ and are you perhaps looking for ways to end the day earlier?

      But on to the more practical things. I think there are a few things that my psychologist and I figured out that might work for you too.

      1. Is er a reason you need to be up earlier than 7:30? I wanted to be the person who was up early, squeezed a work-out in and was super productive etc, but found out that I’m simply not that person. My bio clock would prefer that I go to bed late and sleep till 9 or so, but since that is not possible because of (job)obligations I have calculated the time I need to get dressed for work, eat breakfast, fill in my planner for the day etc + 15 minutes of ADD time and let go of the expectation that I should be able to complete more in the morning. Getting up is difficult enough for some of us (myself included) and if I deplete all my willpower in the morning by trying to force myself to get up earlier to get more done, I will not have enough left to tackle important and difficult projects during the day. So if it is possible for you to start getting up at 7:30 then put your alarm at 7:30 with a post it with ‘you got this’ and start your day at that time.

      2. Are you on any medication? I’m largely unmedicated so I can’t really help you there, but perhaps a talk with your doctor is in order. Maybe taking meds earlier, in more than one dose etc. can make a difference for you.

      3. I’m presuming you hold a job during the week and want to spend your weekend on projects to help you get into a different field, but then there’s is an event and all your plans to spend your weekend or your Saturday studying are out of the window. Have you heard of time-blocking? I’m writing my thesis while also working and it’s hard. What I have learnt from my studycoach is to decide how many hours I could reasonable expect myself to work on my thesis during the weekend. I decided on 8 hours, but you might decide on 2 or 4. Does not matter. The key here is making sure that continuous progress is being made, even if it’s at a snails pace. Every Sunday I plan my week and see what kind of commitments/events I have planned for the next week and the next weekend. Work hours get blocked with color A, other obligations and appointments with color B and the time spent on the road with color C. This way you know where you actually have room for projects and other fun. I know I must write during the day, because like you, if I have spent the day somewhere, I don’t have it in me anymore. So if I have something during the day on Saturday, I block Sunday. I tell myself I can do fun things during the weekend, but either Saturday or Sunday unless I have no other choice (two very important birthday’s etc), but even then I try to get at least one hour of writing done in the morning before leaving. Of course after working all day Saturday on your projects there’s no reason you couldn’t go to an evening concert. I have reduced my fun this way, but have found that I feel so much better If I know I will not feel guilty during an event and think about all the things I should be doing.

      4. Write down your goals, steps to reach them and a rough timeline. If you don’t have to think about what you are going to tackle, it’s a lot easier to start. I’m sure there are lot’s of books and articles in your language (English is not my first language) that will help you with this. A physical (paper) planner might help lots to. It makes goals and task more visible and concrete.

      Sorry, it’s a long post. I seem to be unable to write short replies. Seen on this forum it could be an ADD thing….

    • #125369
      Outsider
      Participant

      A few things that help me –
      When an impulse hits me (a.k.a. opportunity), I pause and ask myself to do a risk/reward or base value on the opportunity vs cost. This takes a lot of practice but I find myself controlling more of my time than before. It becomes harder late in the day when I am tired.

      for your projects: this is really hard for many of us. You see them, you want to do them, you don’t get them done. For me, no matter how many lists or goals I set, they still don’t get there. For me, external help is needed. I call this help my primer. Anyone can be a primer (as long as they are not ADHD) and probably should be someone close (my primer is my wife). This person is the one who can help get you started. Basically someone to identify an opportunity to start a project and get you engaged in an appropriate starting point. With a little guidance on when and where to start, you will proceed in full force and that primer can disengage pretty quickly to move on to their own things. it is a very common problem that people with ADHD can see the project as a whole and without a good starting point, the project becomes to daunting to even start.

      for getting up in the morning, I dont have any real useful advice. An interesting read that may help a little is “When: the Scientific Secrets to Perfect Timing” by Daniel Pink. If you are like my, you probably dont like to read books, so I recommend the audio version (less than 6 hours) and listen in the car.

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