Tagged: Always Late!
September 18, 2018 at 8:40 am #99505
This is my first post here and am just wondering if anyone else really struggles with wasting time on their phone or if anyone has any suggestions to help me with this.
I think I’m almost addicted to looking at things online. I flick from site to site almost obsessively and am constantly checking my emails & facebook although I rarely post on there.
I will start reading something online and then my mind will jump to think of something else that I need to ‘research’ and I’ll go and look that up. I am always looking for perfect solutions for oganising my life, my home, my meals, my clothes and my children but because I waste so much time on there I never have time to actually do much!
It’s getting me down now as I’m not giving my kids and family the attention they need but I can’t seem to stop. I feel almost addicted to it and that my life is just passing me by.
- This topic was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by Honey18. Reason: Username change
September 18, 2018 at 9:37 am #99509
Oh my gosh! I do the EXACT same thing and I feel guilty. I have no answers. I try to stop myself from going on FB by removing the app etc … but I always find a way around it. I need my phone, but it’s also my worst enemy. I think it must be addicting because it gives my mind me what it craves, novelty and the ability to focus on things that interest me. Unfortunately, I think that makes everything else even more boring!!!!!
September 18, 2018 at 4:52 pm #99561
I do the exact samething when I should be doing things I know that are important but I keep putting them off to the last minute which makes it not as good if as I put more time into it.i know this but I keep doing the putting off so I can find what interests me at the time on my phone. After looking at things on my phone I realize I get bored with this too. I want to stop this nonsense but I never can….someone know how to break this cycle? If so, please let me know. Thank you!
- This reply was modified 2 months, 3 weeks ago by johnnyvegas.
September 18, 2018 at 4:56 pm #99565
I can’t explain how unbelievably accurate and relatable every word in your post is to my daily struggle. You literally took the words right out of my mouth. I wish I had some advice for you but unfortunately I have no clue!
September 19, 2018 at 12:44 am #99585
You are describing me…. :(. The struggle is real.
September 19, 2018 at 9:33 am #99589
You are describing me as well. I just can’t seem to help it.
September 19, 2018 at 3:49 pm #99646
I’m new here and this is so me! I will even go as far as waiting until the very last minute to get ready for anything and everything, which makes me late to everything!!! I tell myself that I will be on time from now on and it starts off ok, but then I will start doing something that causes me to run late again, like painting my toe nails or going through the mail or the urgent need to vacuum. I’m not sure why I’m like this. It frustrates my husband and kids, actually it frustrates my entire family! Everyone will lie and say we need to be somewhere an hour before the actual time just to make sure I’m there somewhat on time. I’m so sick and tired of being this way, but I don’t even know what’s wrong with me! Anyone else like this?
September 19, 2018 at 3:53 pm #99648
Sorry, I left out the fact that I spend hours on my phone looking up info to do all kinds of things and projects, but I never have the time because I’m too busy researching how to do it! I have countless unfinished projects around the house!
September 21, 2018 at 11:07 am #99844
I have the exact same problem! I’ve actually had to use an app called app blocker and building times when I allow myself downtime. So I have limits on Facebook and games and websites and other apps set for mornings when I’m supposed to be getting up and getting my son out to school, even work time, and I just recently added and 11 bedtime for myself. I somehow seem to work around that, but what I can do is still pretty limited. I have also use the same app to block things on my son’s phone and it has a stricter mode where you can put parental controls on. Sometimes it’s a point of contention between us but he also sees me using it to help myself. I still have issues with time management and phone addiction. Can’t say this is mastered at all.
September 21, 2018 at 3:12 pm #99868
Everything you’ve all said is exactly what I struggle with. I’m 63 years old, and instead of getting better it’s getting worse. I tried medication but it didn’t seem to have any effect. I’d sure like to get some helpful advice.
September 26, 2018 at 4:19 pm #100199
I feel your pain. And whilst I’m still working on it, it has got better. The things that have helped me so far:
– I’ve deleted my facebook account (painful for about 3 weeks while the reflex to check it continued, but that eventually went away)
– I try to have 2 mantras: “I will only check email when I have time to respond”. And “I will only check email twice a day”… that works as long as I’m not expecting a response. If I have one day where I’m trying to get something moving and there is an ‘email conversation’ happening, the reflex to check email comes back with a vengeance and I have to start taming it all over again.
– Research on the internet and the rabbit warrens that involves is harder for me to conquer. I think over time I’ve learned to recognise when I’m stuck in the loop of looking for perfect and sometimes I can pull back. Perhaps I need to get an accountability buddy.
Which reminds me, I added the Rescuetime app and used that to monitor just how much time I was wasting on different sites. It was a bit of a wake-up call. There is also the option to add ‘goals’ for the use of time. I just used the free version. Obviously the novelty value wore off after a while (but not for a good few months), but it is good enough for me to return to if necessary.
– I keep my phone in airplane mode as much as possible… or even just having the mobile data turned off could help.
– When there is no wifi available I have put the settings for mobile data on so that I can’t just click an app and start using it – I have to go to settings and change that app to use mobile data. It’s just an extra barrier to make me think before I click. I still have to be disciplined to change the setting back…
– I’ve thought about paying for an app blocker, and might still do that.
– Medication has helped a bit, though I realise that it’s my habits that need changing not just my neurones (and as someone mentioned, meds aren’t always helpful for this).
Last major thought – I’m still thinking about getting a non-smartphone. Just having an ordinary phone with text capability… it might be my easiest solution!
September 30, 2018 at 11:14 am #100415
This is me. Unfortunately it’s having a major impact on my studying.
September 30, 2018 at 4:30 pm #100433
Thanks for your reply, you have some good points here. It’s interesting that so many others struggle with the same. I normally go on my phone in the morning( just for 5 minutes…ha ha) but I resolved( again) to change those habits. ( Wondering why it’s so hard..) I have heard of apps, that actually cut of facebook ( for example) at the specific time I scheduled it, but don’t remember what it is. Also today our pastor talked about the will, which each one of us has,,but struggling and that it is stronger in the morning and strengthening it is through starting to resist it’s urges ,which is easier in the morning, I guess. So I set again a plan to change things. One thing that was on my heart is ts to a daily( or at least weekly schedule as a start. And go from there. I also starting to watch my words more. How often have I been discouraged about those habits and then said words like it’s not working, etc, but that’s where it starts. I’m a Christian, so I know I’m not alone in this battle. So I say “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” and there is no condemnation….Shame and condemnation are the biggest enemy to change, so I ahve been working on those too. That’s where it starts. “Never give up” So I’m starting all fresh. MAy be all can be accountable to each other..Blessings.. I won’t give up and we will all see changes….
September 30, 2018 at 11:39 am #100417
It’s amazing how much time I can spend (aka waste) online. That little notification ring calls me, and I feel like I can’t ignore it — it might be important! Usually, though it’s not. My new favorite tool is my timer — I set it for 15 minutes and when it goes off, I have to get up and do something productive for 15 minutes (put in a load of laundry, empty the dishwasher, file some paperwork, return phone calls — whatever you need to get done). Then I reset the timer and continue. I was surprised how much more I get done when I realize the amount of time that goes by — 15 minutes at a time!
October 1, 2018 at 9:14 am #100515
Love your support and insight.
I think we always need reminding to stay heading in the right direction.
Thankfully there are heaps of timer apps to choose from, we need to keep our brains stimulated!
15 minutes is a great block because you know it won’t be long stuck doing boring stuff.
Our brains need stimulating all the time.
Never use ADHD as an excuse for your shortcomings. You actually have the power to change in yourself.
ADHD is a gift of power…believe you have the power to put your phone in “the black box” when the alarm goes off. Believe you are powerful enough to walk away from their for 15 minutes.
do it once…it gets easier. And remember…you will go back to what you were like…because that’s what humans are like. Just make use of your awesome research skills and find another timer app…just one remember! You can try another one next time…
If you fluff up one day…try again tomorrow…and force yourself to bed early and up early.
BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD – Mahatma Gandhi
NIKE – JUST DO IT!
- This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by JWK. Reason: Clarity
September 30, 2018 at 2:37 pm #100424
I don’t get on my phone in the morning except to check my email (my kids’ school communicates by email). I always start cleaning or working on things first. If I do that, usually the momentum of getting going on something is motivating enough to me to keep me from avoiding life with my phone. I don’t really try to curb it at other times. Maybe that’s bad, but I enjoy being able to hop from one thing to another and have 20 windows open in my phone, and it helps me deal with things like lines and waiting in the car (not while driving 😉 that made me avoid a lot of other errands before. For me it’s about setting limits I know I can accept and not trying to be perfect.
October 1, 2018 at 1:56 am #100495
I do the same thing! Getting lost in Internet land! Because I hyper-focus, I can be in Internet land for a very long time. A few times my husband has committed that I spend too much time on my iPad. When I have an appointment to be somewhere at a certain time, I always think I can do just one more search before I NEED to leave, I always end up being late! I want to change, but my brain has other ideas.
October 1, 2018 at 5:57 am #100503
This is totally me!!! I would spend endless hours mindlessly scrolling despite how much I wanted to do housework or have quality time with my family when visiting and my partner at home. I’ve improved SO much over the last year and this is how:
– Once I internalized how little good Facebook actually did me, I deactivated it. At first, I would instinctively go to the web page and see the log in page instead of my feed. That made me realize how much I auto-navigated to Facebook without really thinking about it. I would Sometimes reactivate and scroll through a bit before checking a few peoples’ pages and realizing it wasn’t really enjoyable at all. Honestly, I “detoxed” multiple times and reactivated it after a few weeks and even months, but now I hardly notice anymore and it honestly has only had a positive impact on my life.
– Screen Time on iPhone has been very helpful! I set certain limits for myself so that once I get past that, I’m notified that I’m over my limit and I know just how long I’ve spent on Instagram, Reddit, etc.
– I use a physical timer like another poster said before. It’s a block that I flip over to start and once it goes off, I have to walk over to where it’s at and reset it. This helps me keep aware of what I’m doing for a few hours. I usually do this every 10-15 minutes while doing house work – that means that if I get off task (which I often do) or end up on my phone, I can only be off task for max 10 minutes before my timer goes off and I ask myself “what am I doing?”
– I ask my partner for help. I tell him that I feel like I use my phone too much and he will remind me of this (if I ask him to) when he sees me doing nothing for long stretches of time. Luckily, he’s sweet and doesn’t make me feel ashamed or guilty. He will also start suggesting reading our new books together before bed, playing a game of Wii, taking the dogs for a walk, etc. if I talk to him about the phone issue.
– This last one is HUGE for me. I bought something called the Kitchen Timer on Amazon. It is a plastic lock box with a timer that goes from a minute to multiple days. If I really can’t get shit done because I’m on my phone, I lock it in the box for 15 minute intervals. It doesn’t make a sound when the box opens. In order to not totally miss an important call/text, I leave my ringer on so I know to check my phone when the box opens. But honestly, this is the best way to give myself a kick in the ass when I’m stuck.
I hope this helps! Don’t get too down on yourself when you can’t fix this right away – you’re trying and that matters! I still fail with this all the time, but overall I feel like I can appreciate the moment more. We all have our issues and you being aware of yours puts you a step ahead of many people.
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